“We do not want her love if she will not love you.”“Maybe it will be easier for her to grow to love Wendy and then all of you.”
1091
I half sat up in anger. “That kind of comment I may have expected from the younger ones, not from you Dommi. If you close yourself to her, how can she learn about love and trust. Then she will never love me.”
“It is not always easy for us to keep our hearts open the way you do Roberto mou.”
“Can I meet my granddaughter? I think Ulya should be here. The other baby too.”
“That is a good idea, they will help you more than I can.”
“Oh Dominaki mou, if you could only know how I treasure your love and how it warms me.”
The tots were a bit wary of me, but were soon playing on the bed. Gradually I began to intrude and they accepted me in their games, letting me tickle and tease them. The one lost her fear of me and was trying to pull my nose and we were laughing and giggling when I saw Ulya walk out of the room. When she came back they had both lain down within my arms and were half asleep. I was busy, my healer checking them out so I only became aware of Ulya as she leant over me.
“I’ll take them to their beds.”
“Let them lie here a while Ulya, I love the feel and smells of babies.” Her eyes narrowed for a second and she walked out of the room. I fell asleep comforted, my soul feeling it was being healed just by their presence.
Chapter Ninety
I noticed we were having an increase in visits by the parents of Dommi. Seeing both of them looking and feeling stronger and younger made all of us happy. I was pleased to notice that their interest was not so much in Dommi or me, they were spoiling all my girls, buying them anything new on the market, bringing chocolates, audio CD’s and so on, but we could sense they were not focussed on my loves.
They were touched by the plight of Ulya and the two babies and began to pay them more attention. I noticed they were starting to give more of their attention and loving to the baby we had brought with the daughter of Ulya.
“What are you going to call her Dommi?”
“We are looking for a name. We decided it should be Greek.”
“Something like Despina?” her mother suggested.
“I like that name.” She pretended to ask the baby, “Do you like the name Despina?” She made the baby smile and that was it, her name became Despina. I looked up from my reading with a severe look.
“Claire, to give a child a name is a big responsibility, only the parents should do so. Are you willing to be her mother?”
“Are you serious, you would let us have her?”
“Not me mitera (mother), you and Despina, I think you chose each other.”
We all felt the empty spot in her fill as she held her new little daughter. Ulya wanted to know what had happened.
Diplomatically Dommi answered her. “My parents want to adopt her. Would you mind?”
“Why should I, she is nothing to me.” Still, though outwardly she showed nothing, we felt she approved. The girls rushed to get together everything Despina needed and handed them over to Claire. Elia sat through this without saying a word, but his eyes were fixed on his wife and they were filled with tenderness. When she handed the baby to him he was very gentle.
1092
“Is she also going to start making herself an adult or will she be a normal baby?”
“She does not have a mind capable of learning the gifts yet, she has the mind of a normal human toddler. Once she is six or older I think, then she will be able to do everything my girls can. Maybe even earlier, I have no way of knowing.”
“I am pleased, we need her as a little child who needs love and to be cared for. Thank you, all of you.”
“What about my daughter? What name are you going to give her?”
“We would not name her, she is your daughter, even if I think of her as my granddaughter.”
She scowled at me. “You are too young to have a granddaughter.”
“That is true, but then you are too young to be a mother. Ulya, you must name her.”
“I do not want her to have a name like mine, she belongs to this world, not to the Ukraine. Can I call her Lucy?”
“A good name, Lucy the girl with the beautiful eyes. Ulya, you brought us a lovely gift. She will be loved more than you can imagine. She will never know the pain you’ve felt.”
“That is your promise to me?”
“No, it is the promise of all the family.”
“Aganthi told me she called you stupid when she met you. She was right, you are sick and cannot work and you make another three part of your family.”
“Only two Ulya. The boy that came with you, I think Natalie wants to adopt him. That is one of the big problems we have, the girls do not want any boys or men in our family, they say I must be the only one.”
“That is why you are so sick, you have too much sex!”
Claudia reacted with her short fused temper. “Ulya, he hardly has any sex, sex does not make him weak or sick. You made him sick. Your pain made him sick. Your pregnancy as a child, without our gifts, that made him sick. Your hate made him sick.”
There was a deathly hush as the rest waited for my anger. I smiled at Claudia. “Isn’t she worth being sick for? Isn’t she a daughter any man would be proud of? She has suffered, been brutalised and yet look at her, she fears to love, but she has at least not lost her spirit. She takes a stand and fights for what she wants. She fills my heart girls, I know you can feel it.”
As the girls stared at her I sensed the puzzlement in her, but more importantly, I felt that for the first time ever she did not hate me. Wendy put her arms around her. “If you are the daughter of Robbie, then you are also my daughter. I feel silly having such an old daughter. Would you prefer we think of ourselves as your sisters?”
“Okay.”
“Then can I ask you a question, as your sister, not as the wife of Robbie?” Her eyes gave Wendy permission. “Robbie saved you, it was because of him that you were stolen from the orphanage. Why did you hate him so much?”
“He is a man.”
“So was my father, but I love Robbie more than anything else, more than anything or anyone all together.”
“I cannot help it Wendy, I still see him as a man.”
“Maybe you should start to see him also as a person.”
1093
I made myself laugh. “Ulya, don’t listen to the girls. Just because they love me they think everyone must. You do not have to love me. If you do one day, it will be wonderful, but do not try. Let it either happen or not. Either way I will love you and take care of you.”
“You have sold him flowers Ulya.” Aganthi tittered. They then had to explain to her what the saying meant.
Suddenly Ulya screamed at all of them. “You are all blind. Just because he has money and looks after you, you think he is good. Everyone is good when they have money. If he keeps on getting sick his money will finish. Then he has a whole orphanage of pretty girls and he will sell you for men to fuck you so that he can get money. We’ll see if you love him then!!”
Aganthi moved quickly to her side, a protective gesture that was not lost on us, even though we were shocked. “I know what she means. I also thought you would use me to make money, remember?” She turned to Ulya. “Robert has shown you how to go into his mind. You must now come into mine.”
We watched as she took her in, forcing her to see her life and the time when she joined us. Soon as they opened their eyes again Aganthi turned to her.
“You saw him, you saw us starving and thirsty in the desert. You saw him cut his own veins to feed me with his blood. Would your kind of man do that?”
Dommi got up swiftly and picked Ulya up and with a quick explanation, “I am spending the night with her, she is in shock.” She left for a guest bedroom.
Aganthi came to me, her little face pleading. “Please Roberto, you must not let what she said make you sick again. She will love you.”
“Sick my little angel? Tonight has made me happy. At last she was able to speak out her thoughts and that means she is getting better. You too, you are a treasure in my heart, I really don’t deserve to be loved by you so much.”
She sat by me while Irene clambered up onto my lap.
The protector appeared and Sam slumped, gone I knew to the void. I saw Wendy also slump and called to Claudia as I saw Meli slump. “Quick, go to Ulya, she will be frightened to see Dommi like this. Explain to her.”
“Robert, you will not go to the void. If you try I will block you.”
“Then I better stay here. Go take a look Cherine, I think all of you should go, if it is what I think it is you will not want to miss this happening. Help Ulya to go with if she will, make sure she does not get frightened. If what I’m thinking is true then this is a wonderful moment.”
I was right. The girls had been called to be present and also to help in the re-birth of a Sparkler held Anadir soul. I took care of Lucy while Ulya stayed in her room, refusing to go. I watched what was happening through my girls.
*Why is our Robert not here, is he sick again?*
*He is still too weak Ordinx - Cherine had to threaten him when he tried to come.*
*It is a pity for this is a historical moment. If the soul can be repaired and taken to the world of Meli, our future will have taken a new path and it is all because of him.*
*Ordinx, he is here, through the slivers of his soul within us. He sees and hears all.*
*In that case - Robert friend of all life, whatever happens today, you have the gratitude of us all. Get well soon friend, so that we may rejoice and dance with you.*
*He says there is nothing stopping you visiting him. Any one of us would be pleased to lend you and Solomon a body.*
A globe of yellow Sparklers opened and Dommi closed in. The almost transparent veils of a soul were enfolded and taken in by her. She reached out and took Ordinx within her too. We felt her flood the soul with her motherly love while she sent to and from Ordinx the messages the soul would understand. Wendy joined them and sang to it, her song the story of the soul and the welcome as it was delivered back to it’s own people. Her song must have been of an extraordinary beauty and rejoicing to the Anadir for it was passed on back to all their Worlds.
1094
Hours of my time passed before the joy began to grow in Ordinx. Dommi passed over to Ordinx the soul and the Anadir surrounded him immediately.
When he was able to allow it to float freely on it’s own, his feelings overwhelmed him and we saw how all the Worlds of the Anadir seemed to mushroom, their glow and colours lighting up our area of the void. Their souls flocked to watch from close until Ordinx drew the soul to him again and Meli sent them to her world.
The Sparklers did something I had not anticipated. They broke up, no longer a cloud that resembled a galaxy. They streamed out in their billions and danced amongst the Worlds of the Anadir, forming intricate patterns that spoke of their joy, and the Anadir were not frightened, but pulsed in response and their Worlds seemed to dance in celebration.
Sam was the first to leave, arriving on Meli’s world. We saw Ordinx and the newly re-born soul in their material forms. Ordinx stood over the creature that sat on the grass. A group of the bat people flew in and their iridescent skins shimmered with their joy too. They landed and saw the fear and shock the new one suffered from and they became caring and tender.
Ordinx walked over to Sam and the girls who had all arrived.
“Sam, Samantha, friend of Ordinx and of his people, what joy you have brought us. Our people are filled with this moment and they are alive as they have not been for such a length of time that you cannot imagine. If not for you and your friendship, your love, Robert would not have accepted us as friends and brought this miracle about. How can we ever repay you?”
“You have shown love and trust in my father, you have been part of my family Ordinx, how can you ask to repay us with anything more than your friendship and love.”
“Spoken as a true daughter of Robert. The old ones will care for our newly reclaimed Anadir soul while the Worlds and peoples of the Anadir and the Sparklers celebrate and forge bonds that will endure through the ages we will need to free and reclaim all of our people. Samantha, the undertaking is far larger than just the reclamation of our people, the Sparklers hold so many species and the souls to be given a world and life are in the trillions. The whole Universe is shaken today as it senses itself being refilled with life.
Robert I know you hear and see us. There is an irony in your not being present today because of your weakness. It is as if you are teaching us a lesson. We are to keep in mind that however powerful we see ourselves in the time to come, we are to remember that the most powerful are also the weakest.
I have seen how little children hold a power over you and this also is a lesson. As with your Earth leaders so it is with other races. We too have our leaders and I know how easy it is to allow that power and position to alter our perspective. We will have Robert who is governed by children to remind us of what we must be to and for our people.
Of all we have seen in our long history you are the strangest and on behalf of our people I name you Robert the Crazy and we will take pride in your craziness forever.”
“My father wishes to speak through me Ordinx.”
“We await to hear your words Robert.”
“Ordinx, you are getting carried away by your euphoria and saying things you should not say to anyone. Please, when you are as you are now, you become the single biggest threat to my existence as the Robert you want me to be. All I have ever wanted is your friendship and to know that my family will have a place in this universe, surrounded by love and caring people. Do not offer me more.”
“And what you offer us is not a danger Robert? For our people to be asked to be your friends, is it not as the Jews who see themselves as the Chosen people of their God? A terrible god who is the void, that can destroy souls and yet offers us worlds of matter to live in again?”
1095
I screamed, my baby forgotten, my Sam forgotten. My world, my dreams - everything but my love destroyed. Trapped, not able to permanently die, I tore into the depths of my mind and struck out at my memories, at all that I had been and was, trying to become nothing.
Dommi writing:
The scream of despair was felt by all of us. We forgot everything, all the aliens, everything but our Robert. We ran into the bedroom and found only his body, the baby screaming in terror, her nappy wet from her fear. Ulya took her while the rest of us tried to find Robert, our only love. Vainly (μάταια) we searched the void and within him.
Weeks have passed. His body is not dying, Dr Maria is able to keep it going, same as any other catatonic. The protector, the healer, all that was of him is gone, all we have is the body. Our families and friends, all the Cherinians, have gathered and given of their hearts and souls to try and find him.
His first love Cherine clings to me only, she ignores all, her child, her mother, her Wendy who she loves so much. The pain has struck too deep and as part of the first part of her love, she sees only within me her hope for finding him.
Oh my sweet Robert, how it pains me to be typing, this is yours, your story of love and the miracle of what you made of us and what future you promise just from the love you have for us. I try to keep the spirit alive by writing as I think you would have. I ended off your last pages for you, adding how I imagined you felt and as your Dommi I will try to keep your story alive in the hope you will return to us.
Roberto my love, how could you leave us? If you could not bear to be Robert the Crazy, why did you not turn your back on them, but stay for us? Why did you have to sacrifice us also!!
I am not fair, you have tried so many times to explain, to tell us what you wanted, but your need to protect us drove you, even at times against your will. Now it has driven you to abandon us too. My heart is broken, but I dare not despair, for then I would lose our sweet Cherine. She is your greatest love and for the sake of that love I must keep her hopes up so that she lives.
PART TWENTY ONE
Chapter Ninety One
I say the body has not died but it wastes away. We all take turns with him, even Charlie has moved in, living with us so that he can massage the body daily. We turn him every half an hour. He is fed real pureed food that is given to him through a tube that goes down his throat. There is no clinic or hospital in Greece that has better equipment than our home has, cost has not mattered, either to Alki or my father. Still his body wastes away and so I know there is a deadline. We have to find a way to bring him back, but we do not know how.
The first thing we did is enter his mind, searching within that darkness where he has so often tried to hide himself. He was not there and so Cherine entered his mind to find his last memories. We thought we would lose her when she came out. She had found nothing there. Just broken fragments, a jigsaw puzzle we could never put back together again.
We now have had a respite. Themi thought of it and it seems to be working. He suggested we go to the alternate world and bring the soul of that Robert and place it within our Robert so that he can help make the body fit and strong again.
We had to bring him within his own body so that we can care for it while he helps heal our Robert. His Cherine demanded we bring her too - she spends the day and nights here, returning home within minutes of her departure. She spends time with her family there and returns to within minutes of her departure from here. Only that way could she bear to be apart from her Robert.
Our Robert was right after all, their love and link has become a powerful force.
1096
Rob has given us so much hope. First by seeing our Robert’s body becoming stronger again. He spends his time in the body looking through what little is left of our Robert, trying to repair what damage he can. He does not have the experience, but he is devoted to succeeding. Too often our Cherine is in there with him, helping where she can or just nursing fragments that leave her crying for hours.
We tried taking memories from copies of his mind that are within us, from the slivers of his soul. For some reason they do not last. They shatter.
Months passed this way when one night Rob re-entered just after leaving his mind and saw a shadow that disappeared too fast for him to identify. He has decided it was Robert. He suggests it is Robert who returns to destroy whatever we heal or repair.
We all recalled the eraser and painter. It is not the same, but at least we hope there is enough of a similarity that we can find a way to bring him back.
We do not go to the void, so Ordinx and Solomon came to us. They are in distress.
“I did not realise how strongly he felt, I thought it was but modesty. How can he have such a fear of being admired or worshipped”
I explained, “You still have not realised Ordinx, he feared losing his humanity, of becoming something he would detest. Throughout our history, there have been far too many examples of good men destroyed by being venerated and thus, in turn, destroying their people as they began to think of themselves as gods. All he ever wanted was our love, not fame nor immortality. His every thought was always how he could see to it that his family survives and grows.”
“Then I am the one who killed him.”
It was impossible for us not to feel his grief and recalling the love our Robert had for him, we could not bear his sadness. Solomon who is far less emotional was able to understand and he finally helped us by talking to Ordinx.
“Robert told us that he only wanted one thing, to know that his family are loved and cared for by us. Your grief is hurting them Ordinx, they feel they are letting down their Robert by allowing you to suffer. They do not have his gift for curing your grief. You must find the strength within yourself for their sake.”
“What can we do Solomon?”
“I can only tell you what I will do. I will continue to live as if he is still with us. A way will be found to bring him back, and if he finds he has caused us pain he will suffer again. I wish to do what he would have wished. We will continue to release souls for Dommi to cure and Meli to adopt on her world. Ordinx think, how many times has it seemed hopeless and yet he found his way back. Cherine and all the girls, they will not give him up without a fight. We must be there to strengthen them, not weaken them with our own grief.”
I am beginning to fear for our Diana and the twins. It is as if they decided to live within Robert, staying within his mind almost night and day. She insisted that his love for us is the only thing that could bring him back to us. This led to Cherine and the others following her example. The twins are too young and they are starting to cause damage to their own bodies. I had to show anger and be firm so as to stop them.
I made Cherine sit with me, to be part of my planning for our family, and we drew up a duty list, of the times we are allowed to spend within Robert. We are each allowed one hour during the day and an hour during the night. I have one hour at night when all are asleep, the only time I feel I can spare. My first duty, I know Robert would say, is looking after our family.
Cherine was within my arms as I tried to use my love for her to strengthen her. She suddenly said to me, “Dommi, Robert has made nonsense of our dreams. Our struggle to have a World of our own, to prevent final deaths of any souls of those we love. Our dreams of children and grandchildren, company for us throughout eternity are all lost now.”
“It still exists Cherine. For us, the family, it may not be true, but the rest of the Cherinians will grow and live our dream.”
She turned to look at me and I saw her determination and belief in her words. “Exactly! Robert would not do this to us. We must be missing something, some important point.”
My heart skipped a beat, could it be possible? “What could we have missed Cherine?”
1097
“This is the first time his protector and healer has disappeared with him. Dommi, he kept his body alive when it was rotting so that we would have them, he would not leave us unprotected.”
“How…what Cherine? You are driving me crazy by suggesting there is hope when I cannot see what there is to do.”
Cherine did not answer, but I am too close to her not to feel when she decides to hide something from me. I tried to put myself in her shoes, what would I do if I was Cherine? It troubled me the rest of the day and my worry grew when I found out that she had stopped the other girls from going into Robert. I went to have it out with her.
“You must tell me what you are planning. I have a sick feeling in my stomach that it will be something terrible, please trust me Cherine.”
“You would only try to stop me.”
“How can I promise not to when I do not know what it is.”
“Do you trust Robert, I mean really trust him?”
“Of course I do.”
“Do you Dommi? If you did, I think you would have done what I am planning to. Please trust him and me and do not get afraid.”
I could not trust her. What if her trust in Robert made her do something that Robert was unable to react to? I went into Robert in the hope that I would find what she was planning to do. Soon as I was in his mind I got my first shock. I had not even imagined it was possible.
Cherine had placed a memory of hers within him. I looked into it and I felt my heart stop. I immediately returned to my body and ran to her. She smiled up at me, but I saw the empty bottle by her and I urgently called to my healer to help her. It could not, she stopped it.
I fell to my knees, tears streaming. “Please my baby, please do not do this to us. If you die we all die, your daughter, mine, all of us.”
“He knows I am dying. This poison will take most of the night to kill me. He will come back Dommi, he has to.”
I clung to her, my heart breaking as I wept and pleaded. We were almost immediately surrounded by the rest of our family and Alki and her mother rushed in also as they felt our despair. Marian, Alki, they all pleaded with her, but she faced us calmly.
“I trust him, he will not let me die. If he does not save me it means he is not able to and he is dead to us. In that case I do not want to live. If he thought that by leaving the link to us it would keep me alive he was wrong.”
“No man is worth dying for.” We were just as shocked by the coldness of her voice as by her words.
Cherine answered her tenderly and with love, “If you really feel that way, then I feel sorry for you Ulya. Your life will be empty. If you live a thousand years, my few years of love with Robert will be worth more. Mother, if I die the others might also. Robert promised Ulya that she and her daughter would never feel the pain of being alone and unloved again. Promise me you will take her in and love them for us.”
Charlie was the only one who was not pleading with her. He sat there, his face wet with tears. When Lua appeared she put her arm around him and they were a comfort to each other. When Lua left him and came to Cherine we made space for her. She put her hand on Cherine, over her heart.
“I ask that you give me a gift. If you are to die, may I please come into your mind and make a copy for me. Then I will be able to feel you when the days of darkness come and my songs can have a part of you in them.”
“If you want to do that then you must take the Robert I have in me. The songs must have him with me. I do not want any part of me to ever be without him.”
Lua broke down and wept. When she was able to dry her eyes, she slipped into Cherine and spent the few hours left within her.
1098
We felt the poison as it worked it’s way through her. Her little limbs became paralysed and her heart began to falter. We all made a last effort, trying to force our healers in all at once. Even weakened as she was, they could not enter. As she hovered at the edge, as we expected each heartbeat to be the last one, I too felt myself being called by the void.
Alki and Marian and the others who had come, dashed around trying to force the others to return by smacking them, by using their healers, by calling to them with their love. None of it helped. We could not stay without our Cherine. I made one last effort.
“Cherine, at least give them all our Kaleidoscope World. Come there so that we can save them.”
“I cannot Dommi,” she whispered, her lips turning blue. “He will not be there. Our World will exist, you take them there Dommi. Oh my Robert, why did you leave me…”
Her brave little heart stopped struggling and she left us.
Alki cursed himself and tearing her blouse placed his arm over her chest. All the healers rushed to help him. Soon as he felt himself joined to her he stuck out his other arm.
“One of you, an adult, join to me so that the poison is not enough to hurt us.”
I took his hand. “Alki, the poison cannot harm you. Our healers can take it out of your body, or neutralise it. Bring her back for us.” I went from girl to girl, sending into them my love and the message that we will save Cherine, they must stay. I found that Wendy and Sam were already gone and I sped off to the void to bring them back.
I found them there, holding between them our Cherine. They were encircled by Sparklers. I’d forgotten them.
Ordinx appeared.
*Please tell the Sparklers, if we die, Cherine or any of us, we must go to our World. If they see any of us do not want to, they must not allow the void to get us. They must hold us within themselves until the rest can take them to our World.*
*What is happening? What has happened to Cherine?*
I explained what she had done and why.
*Cherine, you have done wrong, you carry within you a sliver of Robert, to kill yourself you would kill that part of him too?*
Cherine stopped struggling to escape. I went to her and gently folded her trembling soul within myself.
*Come my baby, it is time for you to return to us.*
*Why didn’t you let me die!* she sobbed.
*Now you know how Robert felt every time you brought him back. You were never wrong to do so and we are not wrong to save you either. Your body has been repaired, come back with us my love.*
Even as we readied to return, there was a white flash and the protector appeared. With a cry Cherine flung herself at it. Soon as she touched it she pulled back and her soul wailed.
When I had left for the void, Rob had collapsed in tears and from the pain. Little Cherine had hammered her fists into him.
“It is now your job to save them Robbie, they will all die. You must save them, they are hurting and dying.”
He had reacted instinctively, calling to the protector, as he had done whenever our Robert had lent it to him. It had come back for him and with a glad shout he sent it to us in the void. Cherine had sensed it came from the other Robert and had despaired again.
“Cherine, you are not thinking! This is our protector, it is part of our Robert. He never took it away. You were right!”
1099
“It says it cannot get our Robert back. Dommi, there is nothing else I can do to try and force him to come back. He must be dead.”
“He may be unavailable to us, but he is not dead. He is not in the void Cherine. Please do not give up my darling, if you do, then where will the rest of us find the hope and strength we need to carry on fighting to get him back?” I tried a bit of the Robert style of humour. “Maybe he is waiting for my birthday to pass before he returns. He has made a habit of it.”
My birthday did pass and so did Christmas. None of us were in the mood for celebrating a New Year. To the contrary, the idea of ending and starting a new year without our Robert had us all depressed and we each of us found our time for crying on our own.
Ulya seems to have come into her element. She is more or less running the household, seeing to meals (with the help of Marian) and keeping everything neat and clean. She has not moaned once about any of the girls leaving their things on the floor or in the lounge.
She does not talk much to us and spends more time with Rob and little Cherine. Caring for her daughter has brought them closer and she has become very protective of her. When she called Ulya ‘mama’ she was thrilled for days. I thought of how happy it would have made our Robert and I cried.
I recalled the times he had been so ill, when he had depended on us for everything and how I wished for those days. Anything would be better than having to endure the sight of his body, walking and talking and knowing it was not our Robert. Rob tried to cuddle a couple of the girls in the hopes of cheering them up, of comforting them in their grief, but he soon realised that it was torture to them. They tried not to show it to him, but he is a Robert after all. Sometimes, one or the other of us lose our self control and touch the hand we love and in a way it is a comfort to us. To me, the feeling of his flesh helps me believe that we will find him again.
We have continued to try and repair or replace his memories, but still find them shattered each day, while the memory/message by Cherine remains untouched. Wendy went into his mind and sang of our pain and longing for him and all we could do was hope he heard and still remembered who we are.
Just before the end of the year, Wendy went into him again. She did not stay long this time, but for the rest of that day and the next one we felt a change in her.
“You must tell me what you have done Wendy. He belongs to all of us, we have a right to know.”
“I did not want to tell you so that you do not get depressed if it does not work. I left the little Wendy he loves in him. She will wait there for when he comes to destroy what we fixed.”
I did not dare to hope. Even Cherine is now more often apathetic and withdrawn. I saw how she has changed and wept, now understanding how Robert felt. If there could only have been a way for me to take her pain into myself I would have. All the girls have changed, we are more like a bunch of old women. Even when Ordinx or Solomon visited, Sam did not cheer up. She did cling to Ordinx once and he held her as she cried her eyes out. I think it was very painful for him, for it was obvious he felt he is to blame. None of us have ever said anything to that effect, for we know he had not meant for this to happen and is distraught.
The one that I am really worried about though is Diana. She had been created for Robert and there is nothing within her to give her the strength to last through his absence. Her spirit has been fading away as the weeks and months pass by. The special glow and beauty she’s always had is gone. She goes through the motions of living without being with us, I sense how she spends her time re-living her moments and memories of Robert and I cannot protest that it is not healthy for her, since we all do it to some degree or other.
We were surprised to feel the protector summons us. It wanted us to go to the World, a soul has arrived there and has been taken in. This meant someone we know and care for has died so Cherine decided to go. We felt that if we have the cells of their body we have to bring them back.
As Cherine went into our World we all shared her visit.
*Will you not meld so that your memories can become part of your World Cherine?*
*I am not interested. I came for the soul, who is it?*
*It is the woman who you met with Robert. The one he called ‘Mama’.*
1100
*Where is she? I must speak to her.*
*She did not want to meld either. She is on the emerald isle.*
Instantly Cherine went there. She saw the green body and was surprised to realise that she had taken on her old fat appearance when she could have chosen to be young and beautiful.
“You have not come to welcome me, you have come with pain in your heart and want my help. Tell me your problem.”
Her sympathetic question had Cherine in tears again. She was held in that ample bosom until she could talk. Then Cherine asked her to come into her and see what had happened.
“That one, he is a strange one! Still, first, I see anger in you. My words when we last met were not meant to be a puzzle. Cherine, I do not speak them, they come to me and I only pass them on. I do not have any chance of understanding them for only you and Robert have your experiences to make sense out of them. I will tell you, the words that come, they never come for those who cannot find meaning in them.
Your problem with him, I cannot think of anything you could do that you have not done. That little girl who waits for him, did he love her more than he loves you?”
“No, he loved me the best.”
“I think so too. Why do you think she would have a stronger effect on him?”
“I have no thoughts on this Mama, only hopes.”
“That is good. If she meets him, please return to tell me what happened. If I may make a suggestion? Ask the little girl not to speak to him, not to give him time to disappear. Soon as he appears she must become part of him. Wherever he is hiding, he will be forced to take her with him.”
“Can’t I do that?”
“He might expect that from you, not from this child who only loves him as a father.”
“Dommi has heard and is speaking to her now, it will be done. Thank you, I will return to tell you what happened, I promise.”
She smiled, “I know you will return.”
If little Wendy had been aware how many of us were monitoring her she would have been nervous. We could not afford one second of ignoring her; with his instincts, Robert would choose that moment to appear.
It must have been close to four in the morning when I sensed his presence through her and she threw herself instantly into him. He nearly avoided her and then his instinct that prevents him from hurting a child forced him to accept her. We all waited to see what he would do, where he would go, but he did not move. I warned Cherine and the others not to try to join them.
He enfolded her and from the colours that began to shine we knew she had captured him. He was overflowing with love. As he continued to brighten we all mentally gasped. We had never seen so much love nor such a pure love. Yet he was careful to give little Wendy only what she could handle.
*Robbie, I love you. Where did you go?* He did not answer for a long time.
*You are Wendy?* I heard the breath catch in Cherine as she nearly sobbed aloud. He does not recall us properly!
*Of course! I’m your little Wendy! Who did you think I am silly?*
*Of course, little Wendy. I don’t know little Wendy. I do not think I know who little Wendy is. It will not hurt you, please?*
“Oh god! He doesn’t remember her and yet he gives her so much love and is so afraid of hurting her!” Cherine burst into tears, but beneath it all I also felt the pride she felt in him. I rubbed my fingers across the back of her neck as I waited to see how this will end.
Αλέξανδρος Ζήνον Ευσταθίου
(Alexander Zenon Eustace)11th June, 2019
- posted on Steemit: 11th June, 2019