I was not ready to step away from my loves and ignored its messages, so my loves made the decision on my behalf.
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Poor Cherine was displaced so that she now lay alongside me, with Dommi on the other and Wendy lay on top of me, her legs clasping me. As the blaze of passion was reduced to a simmering joy of our love for each other, so did tenderness return. As I sucked in the breath of my Wendy her milky breath had a hint of vanilla and condensed milk. I knew it was just my imagination, but it seemed so appropriate. Raising my face I took a long look at her pure glory.
Peeping out, towards the bottom of her slit I saw a tiny petal. I was overcome by her tiny perfection. Cherine moved in, fascinated by the differences. She was also mesmerised by the tiny petal. Dommi took her turn at adoring her.
I watched my girls and loved them so much I wished I could have impregnated them with the seed of our love all over again.
We did not get much sleep that night. Wendy also wanted to investigate, see the differences. She was able to look upon my manhood and see it with love that was no longer coloured by remnants of any fear. She had been watching how the other girls loved it and done her best to copy them. I had to stop her when she tried to insert it within her. It was ironic that it was Cherine who pulled her away in a panic. Neither of us said anything, but she did look up at me, in acknowledgement of the irony, and then she lowered her eyes.
When we finally dozed off for a while, it was the most indescribable delicious feeling to be covered by so many bodies of warmth and love. To feel the joy of their bodies as they lay upon me. Oh my Wendy, how I wait for the day your mind opens to me.
PART NINE
Chapter Thirty Six
Of course the girls (the two) got me into trouble again the next day. They told me they have decided to have their babies on the 14th of February, as they want them born on the day that celebrates love. This set Wendy off on her crusade. I looked at Dommi and the two of us decided, without speaking or mindspeak, that it would be poetic justice to leave this in the hands of Cherine. We got a number of dirty looks from her over the next few days, but I enjoyed it too much to let it bother me, sensing her as Cherine experienced the same trepidations I had over her. She also floundered, failing in ways similar to me as she tried to persuade Wendy to wait.
When she announced she has convinced Wendy to wait until she is ten, her attitude was cocky, victorious. I did not have the heart to disillusion her. Not Dommi; with a grin she asked Cherine whether it would help if she got Alki to send me to the North Pole for three years. Cherine got snotty and replied that she saw no problem in that, as Wendy and her would quite happily go wherever I go, but Dommi of course was welcome to wait in Greece. Seeing the truth regarding Wendy, helped me see the truth regarding Cherine and my effort to delay having full intercourse with her. I still wish it could be otherwise, for Wendy at least, but I will be pleased if she waits at least a year - and then allows me to use my healer to spare her most of the pain…but I somehow doubt she’ll be different from Cherine.
Now that I have recovered, maybe it is just coincidence, a number of loose ends are coming together. Our project for Nicko came to an end. He tested the site, with the email and search engines and rushed off to get his Board of Directors to see it. They agreed we have done an excellent job. Alki saw to it that all third parties are paid and Alki and I left our own share to be paid once they have an income stream. In the meantime I was also doing all I can to get them free publicity and even arranged for an article about Ifti and his amazing changes which are bound to improve all search engines as others emulate him. I was pleased to be doing this for Nicko, but I was also proud of him taking what was just a dream and turning it into reality. People who do so are rare and I’m glad my friend is one of them. For me, if he makes oodles of money, it will almost just be a side benefit. I’m still amazed that the playboy Nicko I knew has turned into such a workaholic.
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As October was ending, the girls were showing definite signs of their pregnancies. It was decided I would have to maintain a continuous projection over Cherine, at least during school hours and whenever we are out of the house. I hardly notice that I am sending my healer to watch over Cherine and the foetus all the time, but Dommi does and she is happy that I am watching over her.
Without any prompting from Alki or me, Themi arrived at the house with a number of files under his arm. He had realised he could have a heart attack and if they were found he would cause us problems, betraying us inadvertently. He wanted to burn them in front of us, but I offered to keep them at our home where he would have access to them for updating. I also offered, with the help of Dommi, to scan all his documents and save them onto two new hard drives within heavily encrypted containers. Once we have an original and backup copy, if he then agrees, we’ll destroy the hard copies. I only then pointed out that having been healed, he is highly unlikely to have a heart attack and, with two babies joining our circle, this will be an ideal opportunity for him to be part of their growth from day one.
He got so excited he wanted to resign so as to be available full-time. I’m surprised he didn’t ask to move into our home! His enthusiasm helped strengthen our feelings of liking for him once more, but I had to remind him that we are very likely to continue to want a reasonable amount of privacy. Then I pointed out that there are likely to be other times we will need his help for dealing with outside problems and that holding the official position he presently does, he can be of far more use. It was nice that he approved of the idea, for we can sense it was a sacrifice from his side.
The only thing that still sat on my conscience and drove me nuts at my inability to help, were the three men Nicko had sent to spy on us. All my efforts were to no avail. To have the ability of entering minds and yet not be able to do so with them, it was not only a puzzle, I also found it very frustrating - and felt guilty that I was not helping them. I even reached the point where I wondered whether there is a part of me that does not want to help them, even if such a possibility fills me with horror. I was determined not to give up, for I firmly believe that if new gifts are needed, then I’ll acquire them sooner or later and save the three men.
On a day I was going to the clinic, Cherine had woken up in a grouchy mood because of a bad dream, so, when Wendy asked, I decided to take her with me. As the staff at the clinic know Cherine, slightly altered in appearance and older, I projected the projected version of her onto Wendy. I explained, on our way there the history, and though there was much she did not understand about what is motivating me, she was able to sense how heavy this lay on my mind.
As I prepared to try and enter their minds she asked me to take her with. I felt she only offered out of love for me, that she wants to help me because she feels that success will make me happy and there is nothing else she can think to do to make me happy. I was mostly worried about how sharing these experiences might affect her.
I tried to be honest with her. “You sure you’re feeling strong enough? It breaks my heart every time I enter their minds, especially that guy there, Tasso, he has two children and a wife who still love him.”
“You can look inside me and see.”
“That is a wonderful idea my love. You going to welcome me?”
She did. I knew the girls had been visiting her, but had kept out, afraid of doing something wrong again. I was amazed, she seemed to have grown larger than either of the girls - I cannot judge as to myself as I cannot see myself. It was not her size alone that impressed me. From her form she emitted rays of light that bathed her in a corona, a halo of love. Pure love that had only sweetness in it. She saw my joy and love and openly basking in it, lit the surrounding darkness.
I saw veins of a deeper range of colours within her form. I wondered at what they are. *Cherine says they block me.* For a long moment I pondered this. Block her in which way? What I thought of gave me butterflies. I asked Cherine and she confirmed it. *But how can that be. We said it was due to her needing new connections, you never mentioned they were blocked?* *You were afraid of looking so Dommi and I decided to try on our own.* *Any success? Did you use your healers?* *Not yet. Yes, they cannot help, they say the memory of her own fears are blocking us.*
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I made myself into a thin sheet that stretched around her. I called my healer, told it how these blockages were harming our little girl, stunting her so that she cannot reach her full potential. It flowed into me, forming a network of bright veins that reverse-mirrored hers. We sank into her.
This was an ecstasy new to me. I had never felt a love that was so sweet, so selfless. As we became a rhapsody of joy in our transfers, we felt the healer working at analysing and trying in different ways to unblock her. The healer sent me images; they were of her father, of a disinterested, apathetic mother, of an enquiring bright little mind closing in upon itself as her father punished and tortured her, teaching her not to think for herself. I fed it my own excitement at all the rich tapestry of life, my inquisitiveness, even my odd way of sometimes looking at the commonplace that inspires me into creating original images, I sent for, and received from Cherine her patterns of logic and from Dommi her intuitive understanding of the real needs of people. I did not expect it to all be planted in her; all I could hope for was that they act as catalysts to her own awakening. Where I could, I took in return from her, the images of either parent, leaving only those she treasured; which were mainly the odd smile or act of love from her mother.
As I felt the dark spider web start to unclog, a small stream begin to flow, I felt it would not be advisable to push for a complete opening, the full clearance of the pathways. Surely it would be better we partner it to a simultaneous stimulation of her mind in real life, with colours, textures, information. Even by a light teasing, anything that would help her to create her own fullness, the direction of interests that best suited her own awakening gem of a personality.
*Not enough, Robbie.* *Of what my love?* *Of you!*
I know the full extent of the love Cherine and Dommi have for me. Yet there are times when their voices can become annoyed with me, irritated or slightly acerbic. My darling little Wendy always manages to speak with a voice of love, so sweet and mellifluous that I cannot sense in any way any criticism or impatience from her. If she needs something I have not given to her, I feel blest for the opportunity to be the one offered the opportunity to fulfil her need.
Her words touched the deepest part of my heart. If I could have I would have given her all of me. *What part of me do you want? What haven’t I given you?* *The dance part.*
She wanted the merging, the unification and exchange of the void. I sent the image, the feeling of being part of the Kaleidoscope World and explained we had to wait for the babies to be born. That was the ultimate giving, could she wait for that? She shrugged that off sweetly, showing me she understands this is not the time to be wanting that. But she still wanted the dance now. I offered to get the girls to join us.
*No. I only want what you can give.* *I have already given you my love. What is missing?* She showed me playing puppy; she showed time after time scenes of when I had guessed right, healing or helping my loved ones.
*You want empathy?* She did not know the word. I explained it to her. She flared in excitement. She showed herself, her love, as she thought she was, with a large emptiness where I understood she felt the lack in her. I showed her that when she was at her worst, she had reacted to the appeal of the puppy through empathy. I coloured in her emptiness in her self-image. She only responded by asking sweetly, ‘please’.
I asked the girls to join us, to watch over us, as I felt that the beauty of her soul may trap me.
I blocked them all off for a moment and asked the healer where is the dark seed. I did not want her receiving even one particle, or atom of it. There was a sense of puzzlement. It did not know where it was. I panicked. I could not leave this in Wendy, for her to become infected by it.
*Ask your protector silly.* Now that was definitely my Cherine.
I called to it and asked. It gave me to understand what had happened, with Cherine helping it communicate with me, and I was stunned!
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During all this time that I was involved with Wendy, curing, helping her grow, she had dared the impossible. She saw the dark seed being shepherded by the protector. She had, all sweetness, love and desperate need, explained to it through her emotions that all of them, the girls, can never be happy as long as I carry it. She told it I do not understand what it is. I thought it was my pain, my guilt. My hate. It was not, she told it; it is the core of a soul. It is her father, who remains a constant threat to all of us. She asked it to take it to wherever dead souls go and dissolve it so that it no longer can return to poison us. The protector understood her needs and fears and took it to the void, ensuring the void consumed each and every particle of it.
I unblocked and saw all three (five) around me. They had taken me to the void. I saw my purity reflected in them and the joy they felt for me from the love they were exhaling in a storm of thanks to Wendy.
*Wendy, you have more to give me than I could ever give you.*
Our dance became a duet of love that attracted our forms to each other like powerful magnets. As our tasting grew deeper, Wendy and I not only merged our souls, became unified; we evolved and grew, complementing various lacks in each other.
I was in a state of beatitude, part of a love which has no tiny resentments or withholdings. No selfishness or demands, unless the sweet need to give are a demand. For the first time I felt myself a whole and complete being.
When the calling of the girls pulled us apart, I wept for having known my Wendy. I pleaded with her to allow the girls, one at a time, to share, to dance with her. I pleaded that she allow the foetuses to be part of her beauty.
“Did you get what you wanted honey baby?”
“Yes.”
“Whatever you got from me, it cannot be compared to what you gave us. You have made all of us richer. For the first time we have seen what a pure force love can be. God I hope you never change Wendy.”
She looked at each of us, her eyes a dark violet colour. Shyly she said, probably not fully understanding what she replied, “I can only be what I am.”
“Cherine, Robert, can you imagine hundreds of years of feeling that kind of love!?”
Cherine said in hushed tones, “If only she makes us more like her and does not let us make her more like us. I feel, I feel like I …”
“As if you were in a state of grace?”
In real time, we had only been gone for minutes, so we had time to make an effort. Wendy and I returned our attentions to the three men in the room. It was difficult to concentrate on them after the dance and the fire of need for tactile reinforcement of our physical presence. The truth is, I wanted to leave immediately, but Wendy shyly pleaded to stay.
“I cannot enjoy myself if they are still hurting you inside.”
I stared at her eyes for a moment, fascinated, and then followed her in. We first went to Tasso. We felt Dommi joining us. She reminded us of the time I had locked myself in and Cherine had to follow the cord from my body to get in behind my defences. I suggested we get Cherine for this, she is the only one who knows how to do it. Wendy flared, that deep violet colour her eyes sometimes change to. When the dazzle of her flare faded, she was gone. Dommi and I searched, at first puzzled and then in a growing panic.
Cherine quickly joined us. She did not wobble around in a panic as we did. She went directly to the dark ball of Tasso and spread herself over it. Her glow flared to the same deep violet glare. As it faded she pulled away and returned to us. *Wendy is inside. So is your healer Robert.* *How the hell did she do that? We’ve got to get her out!!* *What for? She is doing her job, leave her alone.* *Robert is right Cherine. She should not be in there alone. There will be dark dreams and a terrible fear from him, she is too young to face that on her own, especially after the life she has lived. I must get in there with her.* *Oh? And how are you going to do that?* .
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To that there was no answer and Cherine was not telling. I decided to reverse our roles, at least for this once. *Dommi, why don’t we just decide to trust Cherine?* I’d never have thought her veils could look sullen, until they danced in joyous relief. Not to my smart-ass comment, to the unfolding of the dark flower.
As the world of the tortured soul opened to us, we saw Wendy gently unwrap herself. She signalled we should draw away to a greater distance. Dommi tried to send in a soft radiance of her motherly love and we watched in amazement as it curved away and returned to her, sent back by Wendy. Tasso, a dark green orb barely pulsed, with only occasional silver dots of light appearing and racing across him, till they faded within him. We realised/sensed Wendy is the nexus of his existence. If she drifted off he followed timidly.
As she drifted, so that she was no longer directly between him and us, we saw the healer was a thin gauze still uniting the two. I had never seen any of us do what she was doing. Dancing particles of light were streaming in from nowhere to her and she was sending them on to him, through the healer, after she had added her own signature (or taste, as she thought of it). Once the silver dots began to leave golden gossamer webs of light that shimmered without fading, she sank into him, uniting a large part of herself. This was another first for us. She kept her core outside, only allowing her outer sweetness be part of him. As he strengthened he became aware of us.
The moment she realised he’d sensed us, Wendy introduced him, while emoting her love for us and her reassurance to him. She somehow found the words to explain and to her and our shock he pulled away from her and flew directly to Cherine.
*You are the one!* *Yes.* *I am sorry, I did not know.*She sent a tendril and let him taste of her. A storm of golden sparks flashed across him.
*You are beautiful!* *Tasso, if you could see yourself you would know you are just as beautiful as any of us. Do you understand what is happening?* *No.*
She introduced him to all of us and as we exchanged the goodness of him with our love, I tried to explain. I lost his attention when he tasted of Dommi. With her, his form seemed to curl up into itself, all its life-force concentrating into the center. When he had absorbed and recovered, his pulse was a beacon of joy. Suddenly it darkened again. I asked him gently what is wrong.
*I took money from your enemy and gave him information to hurt you with. How could I know what you are? Can gods like yourselves forgive me?*
We all laughed, dancing around him as I tried to find an explanation he would understand. Wendy added to the confusion by answering. *They are gods, but they only have love to give, so they cannot forgive you.*
I had to explain to him that what he thought of as our power, is made of and is love. We tried to help him understand the concept that when there is only love, there is understanding, and where there is understanding, there is no need for forgiveness. I also explained that Wendy is a being of sweetness and in her adoration had made a mistake. *If we are gods, then she is a god, then, so are you. What you see is, are, the souls as we appear, out of our bodies. The forms of light are our souls, our minds and our emotions. That is all.*
I explained to him our hurt and my anger and what I had done. I asked him for his forgiveness. This caused him distress and the two girls were also very upset. They were angry that I took the blame upon myself and told him it was more their fault than mine. Cherine in particular tried to claim the lions share of the blame for augmenting our force that lashed at them. This would have turned into a fight if not for our darling Wendy.
She danced around him in childish glee, her whole being pulsing with her laughter. He forgot about us and danced around her. *They are hopeless Tasso, if you listen to them they’ll soon have you begging them to allow you to forgive them.* She turned ‘serious’ a moment. *You hurt them, they live in fear all the time, especially Cherine, afraid someone is doing what you did to them. They hurt you and your friends very badly and they live in fear that they could do something like that. It is too complicated Tasso, I don’t really understand it, but why don’t you just say sorry and forgive them so that you can go back to your wife and children. They are very sad and miss you.* Somehow they were communicating, even though Wendy only speaks English, with a slight East-End accent, while, as far as we could hear, Tasso was communicating in Greek, which made us presume he cannot speak English. We later learnt he can, but not very well.
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It is very difficult to adjust to normal life after such moments. Even the sweetness, the pain of our need for the solid passions of our bodies could not bring us back fully. We were all dazed by Wendy, our magical unicorn girl.
The girls wanted to know why I call her our ‘unicorn’ girl. I explained that they were the first paedophiles. In the early part of time, so the story goes, there were millions of them, spread all over our planet. Although they preferred the plains where they could run like the wind, they were soon forced to live in the forests, only carefully daring to risk the grasslands to feed. Men were their hunters and there were men who wished to tame them for riding, but, they could only bear the touch of sweetness of a young virginal girl; any other touch would spear through their minds, curdling them into instant insanity.
Unicorns found that as their race grew old, they were losing their magical powers. They discovered that by coating their horn with the virginal blood of little girls, that still tasted in the void, of the sweetness of innocent childhood, they could recover their powers. Unfortunately men also discovered the source of their powers and as it became almost a rarity for the Unicorns to come across such sweet purity, they dwindled in numbers and died out. To prove my story is true, I told them that I had speared Cherine and look how strong I have grown. Wendy is not used to fairy stories, so we had to explain I had made up the story for her. My two loves found my story funny, claiming I am trying to make it sound like all men have sex with children so as to justify my doing so. I grinned and told Cherine that if she thinks so, maybe she should tell her mother the story. Luckily she did not take my suggestion seriously.
We all concentrated our time and effort on Wendy and all of us, our minds, benefited. We took her to art galleries, museums, to the Parthenon, to Delphi; even to the monasteries (Meteora) built high on rocks - I did not go up the cliff-side in the basket with them, the idea of being at height in just a basket dangling from a rope made me feel queasy, nauseous - the girls teased me about my protector being braver than me since it accompanied them…as always. We walked through forests and ran through fields. She learnt of the beauty of the miniature world, flowers so tiny the naked eye can hardly see them. We showed her the many faces of Man. The one cruel and hard, causing wars and deaths. The other tender and nurturing, their writings and poems, the paintings of the Masters that do not just mimic the beauty of the world, but enhance it with their visions. Then she heard the magic of classical music and we lost her. She stopped listening to the pop music the girls listen to, and has little interest in the other beauties of our world. I had to buy her headphones and she sits for hours on the internet listening to a variety of classical music. I finally gave in and bought a B&O music center for her with her choice of compact discs. She has found a new world where we lose her for hours on end.
Christmas is approaching, so we talked to Wendy of the wonderful spirit of giving, the pleasure we gain by making others happy and she loved these ideas and pestered us for ways in which she can give to others some of what we’ve given her. She hardly notices other children with their small upsets and miseries, most of her was striving to sense those who suffer and have no joys in their lives. Of course she felt some in the clinic where Tasso had been, so we offered to pay for a party for the kids (up to sixteen years old) and Wendy asked me to give the presents, she did not want to do it. I was surprised when Marian insisted she pay for all the costs, so I asked Cherine to insist that Marian gives the presents. Alki arranged for a catering company to provide meals for all the patients and staff and two parties were paid for, as Alki felt we should not leave out the adults. Seeing all the good which was happening and knowing it started from her, helped Wendy and she has been like a soul dancing in a beam of sunlight.
Perhaps the thought that this is the first Christmas Wendy is ever experiencing is what touched our hearts most of all, and the girls with Marian planned together so as to make this one the best ever.
It is not surprising, since Wendy can sense our feelings, but she has grown to love Alki and has also learnt to call him ‘pappou’. Her biggest love, outside of our circle is now Marian. When we took them to dance with us, to gift them with Wendy’s vision of their baby, she danced with Marian and exchanged so much love it was as if they had merged. Their souls seemed to be twins of sweetness.
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Her vocabulary grew amazingly fast, both English and Greek. She has a love of the language, of the music in words. I’m not certain of how it works, for she is not that interested in the meaning of words, in other words, in prose, but in how words, if strung together by a talented wordsmith, form a music which enhances the meaning of the writing. Alki brought her books of poetry and she told us that some of them sing to her. I think this was when Alki really fell in love with her. She listens to what sounds like classical Greek music with Alki for hours and returns to us with images that captivate and open our hearts to the magic she found in it.
We are all in love with her, not just us of the circle, Alki and Marian and Themi too. She is the dewdrop that contains nothing but the purity of love. She is able to feel that my Cherine still holds first place in my heart and, like Dommi, is able to love me more, not despite, but for the love I feel for Cherine. Although she does not hide her greater love for me, still imprinted in her as an endearing puppy I think, her love for Cherine is a source of happiness for Dommi and I. I simply believe she sees the special magic in my Cherry baby that we all see.
As December began, we started to count the days when our future will arrive. I’ll never forget the 6th of December. We were sitting cuddling by the fireplace. The mood was resplendent with our warm love. Suddenly Cherine gasped.
“She answered me!! Rose talked to me!!”
I was confused. The only Rose I knew was my mother - I had a moment of wild hope and sensing me, Cherine’s face fell.
“I’m sorry Robert. I was going to keep it a secret from you, to give you a surprise. I decided I want our baby to be named after your mother. I didn’t mean to make you think it was your mother. I’m sorry I disappointed you.”
“Our daughter spoke to you!? Oh sweetheart, we’ve got to hear her, please? Can we all come in?”
“Well, she didn’t talk to me in words. She sent me a feeling. She was answering me, I asked her if she is happy. Oh Robert!!” She began to weep against my shoulder as I tenderly held her. No, that is not strictly true, it may have been tender, but there was a fierce possessiveness in me burning like a fever.
“Come on love, I have to taste her signature. Please? For your monster?” As I looked down at her, I saw peripherally the ecstatic faces of Dommi and Wendy. Dommi was staring at Cherine with tears of joy in her eyes and Wendy, her face lost in the beauty of what she saw within her, had her eyes closed. A strange feeling came over me, Wendy was no longer a tiny warm body half lying on me. As I stared, with incredulous wonder, the others turned to look also.
“The monster has found a real fairy for his garden.” Cherine whispered in awe.
An ethereal Wendy was floating in the air and she was radiating, glowing with love. Cherine sent that love on to us and began to spin it in a circle of our feelings. Our love, adoration, joy. In the background, but also an integral part of us, there was a tiny crystal bell ringing with its happiness and it was joined by a dreamy sound of surf breaking on a shore, murmuring its happiness. It felt so right, so much a part of our golden glow that was swirling and throbbing like a heartbeat that it took us a while to realise we were listening/feeling/tasting our two babies.
Wendy opened her eyes, the deepest violet I had ever seen them become, and she stared at me. Lazily, happily, caught in the golden ring of love, she stretched her fingers to my face. Pulling herself to me, she touched her rosy lips to mine and I tasted a supernal nectar that made me drunk with love as it spread through my body.
Wordlessly Wendy began to sing. As she sang she composed, the music flowing out of her soul. We listened entranced, visions conjured by her filling our hearts with the joy of the two new lives that were woven into the tapestry of our beings, of our golden glow of love. Softly her voice faded away and the silence became a part of her song.
Her voice was a throaty whisper, nothing like her usual sweet childish voice, “One day, when you trust me, I will give you a child. She will also be your joy, I will give back to you all the love and happiness you gave to me.”
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Poor Cherine found she no longer could handle this new influx of love and the ring flew apart, expanding like those films of nuclear bombs, a golden mushroom of love. The whole neighbourhood felt it - as did Alki and Marian.
With all we were experiencing, Wendy was even more eager to return to the clinic to help the two men still in a coma, so I could not refuse to take her with me - not that I would, she has already proven herself with Tasso.
Wendy was unable to help with the second man. She fled out of him and we had to chase after her into the void. The healer/protector enveloped her and allowed us to surround her with our love. It did not take a genius to deduce what had frightened her. What was difficult was to find a way to calm her down. Dommi suggested we return to our bodies. She felt that grief, as with passion, needs physical release. Only tears and the comfort of loving arms can help. I did not like the exposure this would bring us as we were still at the clinic. Cherine fiercely promised we will be alone.
Her body shook to her sobbing. As has become accepted, in her distress she only allowed/wanted my arms around her. I decided to bring it out into the open, not allow her shock and fear to fester inside her. “Wendy baby, it was not your bad daddy. It was just another sick man.”
She only clung tighter to me while Cherine and Dommi began to weep as they were forced by empathy to share in what she must have experienced, as they fully realised what our Wendy had come face to face with.
I spoke to her at length, soothing and reassuring her. When she began to answer me, my relief was a huge weight off my shoulders. I had been afraid she would withdraw again. Finally the tears dried up and I sat with her face buried in my shirt. We left the clinic so that I could stop projecting for Wendy.
We returned home and while the girls held her I made a fire. Soon as I sat on the couch she returned to my arms. Alki and Marian came over and sat silently, the girls having explained to them. Marian projected, unconsciously, a need to hold Wendy. From my lap she looked up at me and I saw from her eyes that she was still buried deep within herself. She stretched out her thin arms to Marian and settled on her lap, her eyes staring at the flames.
A low hum filled the silence, gradually finding within itself a medley of sadness and fear. As the sadness grew, the fear turned into a terrified cry of loneliness that hung in the air and our hearts long after she was silent again. As we all watched her, our hearts aching and tears falling, she closed her eyes, sank onto Marian’s breasts and fell asleep.
We sat silent, each lost in their own remembered pains, waiting for our sweet siren to call us back to this world. When she woke up, she was just a normal little girl again and her sweetness and joy had returned with her, calling us also back to the flow of time that always seems to speed up around children.
“Robert, she has a great talent. She must study music.”
I don’t know why I always react to my strongly felt emotions in such a negative manner. “Alki, you just want her to record her sounds for your internet business - to make you a lot of money.” I teased.
He looked at me seriously. “Can you imagine your Kaleidoscope World series backed by her? It would come alive in every heart.”
The two girls were entranced by the idea, but Wendy did not seem to know what we were talking about. Marian was like a fierce lioness shielding her little cub from us, not allowing us to dare take the subject any further. For the first time I saw a tinge of sadness, the kind that comes from jealousy, in Cherine. I pulled her into my arms and Dommi joined us.
Wendy was able to allow us to see what the man has in him. We saw the poor girls he has molested, in savage lust, with no tenderness, little daughters of strangers from the poorest suburbs of the Attiki, sold to him, for him to tear and damage, just for money to put food on the table - at best, others just for money to buy a luxury or two. I may sound to others hypocritical, but I decided to leave him catatonic. I admit my anger with the parents of those children was also scalding my heart. As far as I was concerned, we only had the third man to worry about. When I said so, a tussle broke out again - between Cherine and I. She wanted to try and help and I refused. No girl of mine will go through that hell again. I refuse to take the chance.
299
Alki had just had the ‘delivery’ bed I had designed delivered to me. The girls were looking at it and giggling as they imagined it in use, when the doorbell rang. There was no feeling of threat, so, thinking it was Alki, I opened the door.
It was Tasso with his family. I instantly projected for Cherine and welcomed them, leading them to our lounge. While we had coffee and tried to make some form of conversation, no longer able to handle his anxiety, Tasso came out, in a rush, with his reason for visiting. “Please you must forgive me, I had to speak to you. I do not have the right to ask you, not after what I did, but it breaks my heart, it hurts me to think that when I die you will take me in and give me eternal life, but my wife and children will die forever.”
To give myself time to think of a way to deny his conjecture without lying, I answered pedantically, “There is no eternal life Tasso. Time is a loop, there is an end and it loops back to the beginning again, where we will no longer be.”
“But still. To be for so long without them!”
Dommi demanded I ask him, as if she had accepted he has the right to make his request. “What made you realise you would be ‘called’ to us, given eternal life?”
“You left parts of yourselves in me. You will call me.” His conviction was genuine. We all looked at each other, sharing our shock, for we sensed he was right.
“We are still new to our gifts Tasso. We do not know yet in which directions we will grow - we might be wrong even about the obvious ones. I do not even know how we can help or how many we can help. Up to now we have only exchanged parts of ourselves with people we had to help.”
His wife had obviously not believed him, had probably thought his ideas and story about us a part of his illness, just delusions. As she heard us, her embarrassment for his craziness turned to a religious fear. She was crossing herself, as if warding off the devil, her eyes huge saucers of terror. Tasso saw her and was embarrassed in turn. I motioned for him to relax.
I spoke to her in Greek, in a plain matter-of-fact voice. “Your husband has told you what happened and now you fear us. Please do not. There is no evil here. The only powers we have are of love, and if we learn to understand ourselves, we hope, of life. Tasso wants to be part of this love and life, but he wants you to join him. Do you trust him enough to trust those he trusts?”
“But my children….?”
Our experiences with Wendy helped me see. “It is easier for us with your children. They are more open to love. Your two little boys and the little girl you are expecting will find it easier to join than you would.”
Tasso turned to his wife, disbelieving, but in great hope. “Is that true Stella mou? Are you going to have a daughter?”
“I don’t know. I have been waiting to make sure you are really well before telling you I am expecting. It is too early to know if it is a girl.”
Dommi spoke up, her face calm. “If Wendy says it is, then it is.”
She guessed, since I had not introduced the girls, which proved that Tasso had told her enough for her to guess correctly. “Wendy is the mikroula, the blonde kseni with the short hair?”
“That is right.”
I told the girls we were now at a crossroads. They could not see why I saw it as such a terrible problem, and even a threat. Despite our experiences and my efforts to explain, the two younger ones see our way of life as being entirely natural, while Dommi is of no help to me, for she blindly trusts Cherine. I knew this couple will not be able to accept our way of life as they come from a very conservative background and they will be horrified if they learn the full truth. Add to it that they are not well educated, probably superstitious, and are regular churchgoers, and we have a recipe for disaster.
300
As I’d opened our door, my first thought and fear, had caused me to quickly project, hiding the pregnancy of Cherine. If that would have horrified them, how would they face having to include their sons, and later on, their daughter, within their marital bed? If they decide we are monsters, as many people think of paedophiles, even if Tasso promises to keep quiet, I was certain his wife would spread stories about us. I definitely needed more time; I needed to speak with Themi and Alki on this one.
I told the girls that if we are to live extended lives, we will come across this problem many times. We have to all be in agreement as to the risks we will be taking and as to the methods we will be using to adjust those we touch with our essence. Dommi had no problem understanding the extent of my concerns, but the other two seemed to think that I only had to wave the magic wand of love and all would go well. Flattering as their faith in me and love was, it added a facet to my worries I did not need. I left it to Dommi to explain to them - and if she did, and they still need convincing, I knew Alki and Marian would.
“Tasso, we understand why you came to us, but, there are certain very serious adjustments you and your wife would need to make. To be honest, I do not see that you can. I need to think about it first. Can you call me in a weeks time?”
“I am frightened to wait. If my wife or one of my children should be killed in an accident,” both he and his wife found wood to knock on, “I would lose them. That is how the devil works. I am even afraid to walk out of your house. Of course, if you tell me you will not, then there is nothing I can do. In that case, I must ask you please to let me go, so that you do not call me to you if I should die. I do not want an eternity of missing my family.”
Not only was his wife touched by the obvious sincerity of his appeal, so were the girls. So was I. I excused myself and closing myself in my office I called Alki. He listened to me spell out my worries without interrupting and then agreed with me that it is highly unlikely they will accept the terms the changes they seek would demand of them. As Alki put it, even he still finds it difficult to adjust and he knows that, however unreasonable it may be, he still hopes deep in his heart that he will not need to follow my example. What chance of success then with this family?
The girls had followed our conversation and were subdued when I returned.
It makes a lot of sense to me that I widen the number of persons who share our good fortune, who belong to our bright world of love; who can look forward to being part of a Kaleidoscope World, whether ours or not. The faster we grow, the safer my girls are. Not, however, if I take unreasonable risks and our existence becomes public knowledge while we are still so vulnerable.
We could feel the growing bitterness and pain as Tasso began to realise my attitude will not change. It hurt me and I felt forced to take a chance, if I am to live with my conscious. Since the girls are more practical than I am, I asked him to wait and consulted the girls and then the protector. I saw it was the only way, the outcome predictable, not the answer I’d prefer, but an answer of a sort.
I took Tasso into the office and shut the door. “We have a very serious problem to solve before we can arrive at a positive answer. You know yourself and your wife and you will have to be honest with yourself and us - if you lie to me, you will pay for it, and so will your family.”
He swore to tell the truth and that gave me an opening. “How religious are you and your wife?”
He became paralysed with fear. He could not guess which was the answer I wanted. I sensed him decide to be honest. “We do not go to church every Sunday. Maybe three or four times a year.”
“But you cross yourselves every time you pass a church?”
“Yes.”
“And you do believe in God and Jesus, the Mother Mary and the Saints?”
“Yes.” His voice was barely audible. “Must I stop believing?”
Αλέξανδρος Ζήνον Ευσταθίου
(Alexander Zenon Eustace)25th March, 2019
- posted on Steemit: 25th March, 2019
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