When you discover that someone you know or just met is a military veteran is your first instinct to thank them for their service? Did you know that this can make some veterans extremely uncomfortable? Don't feel bad, this is very common among civilians and we're going to dig into this a little bit and find some great alternatives to just saying "Thank you for your service" (TYFYS).
What's so wrong with TYFYS?
Look, it's wonderful that you want to show appreciation for the sacrifices made by service members and their families. It's a difficult lifestyle and I'm sure you just want to express respect and thanks. No one wants to make you feel bad about wanting to say thank you in a heartfelt manner if you feel so inclined.
So what's the big?
Platitudes make attitudes
A platitude is defined as a phrase used so often it is no longer interesting or thoughtful. For example "such is life," "It is what it is," and "What goes around comes around" are phrases so commonly used that they mean almost nothing anymore.
Didn't get that promotion? Such is life.
Someone do you wrong? Don't worry, what goes around comes around. (Bonus points if you also use "God don't like ugly" or "Karma's a bitch")
It's so easy to not notice this, but many of us use platitudes on a daily basis and when we do, we're not really saying anything of significant substance.
This is what "Thank you for your service" sounds like to some veterans; something you just say because it's what you say when you meet or speak with a vet. It can feel extremely insincere and more like a stock response.
How about them apples?
Another issue with TYFYS for some veterans is how it generalizes service members and their profession.
Every organization in existence has it's share of selfish people or bad actors, and the military is no different.
Blindly thanking veterans for their service ignores this fact and only serves to elevate all military service members to some kind of morally superior role where they can do no wrong. But oh so much wrong can and does happen.
Are there any bad babysitters? Doctors? Teachers? Of course there are bad apples in each of these roles, and that same truth applies to the military. Not everyone who joins the military is some kind of moral being; we all suffer the frailties of humanity.
Thanking us without knowing us serves only to anonymize veterans.
So when you're throwing thank you's around, what you may be saying (without realizing it) is that you don't know much about the military or the current conflicts happening but you're grateful someone else is handling the fight that isn't you or yours.
So say nothing?
If you feel the need to express appreciation to a veteran, there are a few alternatives you can use other than uttering the old-as-time platitude "Thank you for your service".
One of the major things you can do is politely inquire about their service. But keep it very light here, you never know if you could be talking to a combat veteran who doesn't want to discuss what they've seen. Expressing interest in an individual's experience is a much more accessible way to show a vet you actually care.
If they are a combat veteran or seem uncomfortable talking about their service, pivot to polite questions about what they're doing now. Are they in school or a particular industry? What do they enjoy doing as hobbies or for fun?
But the most simple thing you can do is find a more original way to say "thank you for your service."
This post was made in support of the veterans tag that @jdawg has taken the initiative to help build up. Check out this post: Please Help Me Create Steemit's New Community to Support Military Veterans #veterans.
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