“No my silly Robbie, I was speaking of facts. To jump between our worlds and make their tests, they will have to be Cherinians.”
1221
“Nowadays scientists seem to do their theorising sitting in their laboratories or offices.” I gave Honey a brush of my lips upon her cheek and left them alone.
At the concerned faces outside I gave a smile.
“It is confusing isn’t it? You feel their happiness, but also a sadness? Maybe they are having to say goodbye to a part of themselves. Don’t forget that it is just as bad for Honey. To her it is as if she is the original and Meli was taken from her.”
“They are both original!”
“I know Rosie, I was talking of their feelings, how it will seem to them. Sam, do you want to go tell Solomon and Ordinx? They would be welcome if they wish to visit.” They must have been waiting for they both appeared even before Sam returned.
“It was a success?”
“She has been renamed, she is called Honey. Honey and Meli are together now, getting to know each other and adjusting to the fact that they are no longer one. Sit with us while we all wait for them.”
As we were chatting, trying to prevent our eyes from straying to the bedroom door, we felt the laughter and a sense of naughtiness. I grinned to myself, this was a wonderful sign. About fifteen minutes later the door opened.
The two of them walked in. They were identical ages and had put on identical clothes (belonging to the twins). Their grins were identical too as they looked back at us.
“You have to guess which one of us is yours Robbie and then you get to keep that one.”
I grinned back at them. “I’d have to make love to both of you to…” The one pulled back slightly and I laughed out aloud. “You gave yourself away Honey. Your trick would only work on a non-Cherinian. We can feel your minds, taste your hearts.”
The room began to fill up as the rest of the Cherinian got wind of what had happened. They all marvelled at Honey and it was not long before she found herself flooded with their love. At this moment of extreme joy, the two Wendies and Candy gave a cry simultaneously and disappeared.
In total panic I called to the protector to find them, thinking we had been attacked, that somehow they had been stolen from us. Even as I prepared to go to the void they returned. With them were our Chinese family. All four of them looked as if they were about to fall to their knees, only their pride holding them up. Lua touched my Wendy, her fingers lightly on her cheek.
“Thank you my sisters. We thought we were to die.”
“Wendy, what happened?”
“They jumped to come here Robbie and fell, same as you did.”
“But why? They’ve jumped here before without a problem. Lua, Charlie, did any of you sense anything?”
“It felt as if a giant hand grabbed me and threw me at the land far below that suddenly appeared.”
“Damn!! The spider. They sensed or felt all of you jumping here and they attacked. Is everyone else here?”
We did a check and saw that everyone except for Perikli had arrived. Quickly we sent him messages not to jump. I phoned his mobile number.
“Perikli, I’m sending you reinforcements, do not jump. Do not stay where you are either. Get out, move in a haphazard way until you either get here or we manage to bring you. We are under attack again.”
“It is difficult to leave right now…”
“Damn it, this is an emergency, your life is more important.”
“I’ll try…”
1222
“Wait, I have an idea, Perikli, it may be crazy, but I think we should try it. Get in a taxi, give him this address. Tell the driver you will sleep until you get here. Then immediately go to the void. I think they will lose track of your body then.”
“You say it is urgent? I will then come as you say.”
I realised he was talking for the benefit of whoever was with him. I shut the phone and tried to sense him. I finally felt him through Cherine. Then he disappeared from her mind. I quickly jumped to the void.
*You came. I’m glad, this is not a good place to be alone.*
*We have to act fast. Solomon is at our home. He will leave the body he is using, you must enter it immediately. They will sense that you are in my home and stop searching for you.*
*You want me in the body of a little girl?*
*For god’s sake, just do it. Now!*
My healer helped and he took over the body. I stood over him and watched, making certain he was alright. His mind seemed to suddenly blaze and he was with us. His pretty little eyes opened.
“Perikli, what you said, it was not true. I do not want you in the body of a little girl. I don’t want you in any way, except as a friend.”
At the general laughter he caught on and grimaced. “You choose a strange time to make jokes Roberto.”
“Etsi einai o Roberto. When he has been scared he has to make a joke. Actually it is rather funny to think of him wanting you in a...” His voice died out as Perikli glared at Niko.
“How do I get my body back?”
“Solomon has taken it over. Soon as he arrives here he will leave. You then have to go to the void so as to return to your own body.”
He was not listening to me, his eyes were riveted upon Meli and Honey. “It is true then! I felt we had grown by one, but could not believe such a thing would happen at a time like this. Please explain.”
“The second one, Honey, is the love of the other family.” We gave him an explanation of what had been done.
“That is why they attacked. They must think someone has just given birth and when others began to jump they were ready. If you know someone is about to jump and where they intend going, it is not impossible to interfere with their jump.”
“It would have been of more use to have known that before!” Jonathan sounded angry.
“Jonathan, you are not correct. All of us know things the others don’t. At such time that the information is needed, it is recalled.”
“He is right Roberto, I did not think of it - I should have.”
“Instead of beating your chest with remorse get ready to jump, your taxi is arriving.” It took another five minutes, but I’d killed that conversation. Once he was back in his own body he looked back at the little girl body he had been in.
“That was extraordinary! I enjoyed being so young, but it was strange being a girl.”
“Savva, you going to spread the story within the force, about your chief wearing little girls bodies?”
“I’ll have you fired!” He spoke in mock anger and soon the comments were flying.
Socrati shook his head. “We get attacked, nearly lose four of our people and Robert turns it all into a joke and has you all laughing!”
1223
“We need to hit back Socrati. We cannot, so all we can do is laugh - it helps to relieve us of the tension…actually, it is a way of hitting back at them.” Suddenly Honey spoke up in a harsh angry voice. I had never heard Meli speak that way, but on hearing the words I understood the anguish behind them.
“Robert, what have you done to me. My memory is full of holes!” She started to cry. “You have taken away everything that mattered.”
We all felt her distress and she felt ours. Stumbling over my words I tried to explain about the memories of Meli loving me had to be taken so that she would not also love me. That it would not be fair she carry with her our memories of lovemaking, she should go to her family with a clean slate. I must have garbled it up terribly, for I was being torn apart by guilt.
Meli held her and defiantly Honey pulled away. “You did this to me also. You let them.”
“You can take whatever you want from me Honey.”
She stared up at Meli with a bitter anger. “I can take them! Okay, I’ll take them and leave you without them, then we’ll see how you feel.”
Dommi kept her presence of mind and threw a block around Meli. “You will do no such thing Honey. Stop acting like a brat and talk reasonably.”
“Who are you to talk! You are not my mother. No one is, I’m just a thing you made!” She ran out of the room, slamming the bedroom door behind her.
There was a deathly silence in the room as everybody tried to avoid looking at me. I turned to appeal to Marian, but kept my silence when I saw her pain. I could not find the words to speak, did not know what was the right thing to do or say. I could not ask my girls, for I felt them suffering too. We had not foreseen how this would affect Honey and we all saw how wrong it was. I glanced at Rob and saw the pain, but also an understanding; he nodded his assent and little Cherine gave a cry of despair. Whatever I did or did not do I could not avoid causing pain.
I went to Honey. She was lying on the bed curled up, not sobbing, her shoulders hunched she kept her face turned away from me. I sat on the edge of the bed and battled within myself to find a way to take away the pain from all. Whichever way I twisted or turned I could not find a way. I felt my nose running and without thought rubbed the back of my hand across it. My nose kept on running and I rubbed the other hand across it. When it continued I just let it drip, my thoughts and emotions were tearing at me too deeply for me to worry about my nose.
Without realising it I began to whisper to myself, “Gods, we have been given the power of gods but we are stupid ignorant savages. A thing she says. A thing, a thing she says. Oh God! No. I’m the god now, I must give her, her memories. Then? Come on god, what do you do, what about Rob and little Cherine. Ah, you are a god, take their memories so that they do not remember the pain. Where does god put all the pain? A thing….” I felt something tearing at me and I fell over into darkness.
I struggled to return, I could not afford to let go now. I carried too precious a burden. I had to give her back her memories. Mentally I screamed for Rob, but they were all by my side already.
“What is it Robert?”
“Take protector.”
“For god’s sake Robert, give back her memories, let her love you. Cherine and I still have each other. We’ll get over it. Don’t tear at yourself like this.”
“A god, a fucking god. Take it, take it all!!” I screamed as I felt every door close, all my gifts depart as I sent back her memories. As I let go, sinking into myself, the last thing I heard was laughter. The laughter of victory, laughter at my stupid softness. I woke up to the feel of a cool damp cloth as they cleaned the blood off me. I opened my eyes and saw the darkest despair I have ever seen in the eyes of my Cherine.
“It was an attack. I let him, I helped him take away my gifts. I’ve let you all down.”
“We are still safe Robert, Rob is in control.” She started to weep. “What do I care, you are gone.”
1224
I forced myself to sit up and summonsed all my strength to do what I had to do. I struck her across the face. “Don’t you dare let him beat you too!!” She stared back at me, aghast at the blow, but then I saw her eyes widen as my words sank in.
I explained, “Rob, the protector, it let the spider through. I have lost all my gifts. I cannot even feel my link to Cherine. Everything is gone. Is the protector still there?”
“Yes, so is your healer. It fixed you and is watching over you. Robert, the pain of the girls distracted the protector, it did not mean to betray us.”
“I know. It’s prime directive (πρωταρχική οδηγία) is to prevent the girls being hurt. Tell it, order it, for now the prime directive above all else is for it to fight the spider. We must not lose to it.”
“Will it listen to me?”
“Not if you wonder if it will. Just order it Robert. Yes, you are the Robert now. You have a Cherine.”
My Cherine wept at my words. Gently I pulled her to me. “I still love you and all my beautiful wonderful girls. At least it could not take that away from me. Can you love me as I am now?”
“Yes, oh yes Robert.” The other girls echoed her, all except for Dommi who stared at me, her face white and pinched.
“I never realised how much of our love was in the feeling of you within me, watching over me and feeling your love. I miss that so much!”
“They all do Dommi, now is the time for you to be my strength. None of the little ones know how to love someone like me. Only you and Cherine. Honey! Where is she, did she get those memories?”
“She is on the bed behind you Robert. She rejected the memories soon as she felt them. She never wanted to love you Robert. Maybe the spider made her say those things.”
“It took what she felt and exaggerated it, as it did with me. God but I was stupid!!” I turned around and saw Honey staring at me. “You okay now love?”
She nodded, her tears running again. “Do you hate me?”
“Never! You must never even think that. Honey, I need to know, do you really feel any of those things you said?”
“I seemed to at the time I said them - I felt inside me I was being unfair, but I could not stop myself.”
“Robert, you must be on the lookout. Do not trust any of your emotions. We cannot afford to lose you too.”
“I’ll try.”
I almost shouted at him, “No, don’t try! That gives you an excuse for failure. Do it! I suggest you gather those who are level-headed around you. Your father, Alki, Socrati. Do not listen to them on what needs to be done - but if you feel your emotions running away with you, go to them. Ask them if it is reasonable to feel the way you do.”
“That is not fair Robert, you would not have done it.”
“I know Dommi, look at the results.” I got up and was alarmed at how weak I felt. “Are you sure the healer is watching over me Cherine?”
“Yes, can’t you...” and she burst into tears. “I’m sorry my love, I can’t help it.”
A fist grabbed hold of my heart and squeezed. “You feel it too?”
“What? No, I don’t feel anything.”
“You do my love. I have to leave here.”
That brought a storm of protest as I’d known it would. I let them all have their say, my eyes glancing over at Claudia with a plea. She understood and left, to return with a coffee and cigarettes.
1225
“I don’t want to smoke in the bedroom, let’s move to the lounge.” I took a long look around me, every shape of it a memory of a dream I’ve lost.
“Robert, I ask of you that you honour my promise. The Petsas guy will come running for shelter. Give it to him. Do not allow him to be present at discussions nor should he be present when Solomon and Ordinx are here. Listen to my girls, they have shown me the right solution many times, but then do what is in your heart.”
“Stop talking like that, you cannot leave us.” Alki stood over me his face suffused with anger. “Do you think it was your gifts that made you our leader, that made us all love you? You are not leaving!!”
“My lion cub is not taking your side Alki.” He swirled around and stared at her and his anger faded into despair.
“Why?”
“I have to leave, something is making me do so, I do not pretend to understand, but I have learnt to trust my feelings. There is another point none of you have understood. How do you think the spider attacked Honey? It was through me. Once he found his way into my mind, that time he paralysed me, you all became vulnerable. Do you honestly think I could stay, knowing I put you all at risk?”
All my girls, except for Cherine, pleaded with me to stay, reminding me of how they love me and cannot live without me. I gave them the time they needed and was as gentle as I could be.
“Cherine, would you go to visit our Mama, tell her what happened and that I must leave. Does she have any suggestions as to what path I should take?” She went into the bedroom and I smiled inside me. I asked to speak to Alki alone. “Alki, friend and father, will you stand by me?”
“You shame me by feeling you need to ask.”
“I did not mean as a friend. All the girls are secretly planning to run away, to join me. It must not happen. I need you and all the others to convince them to stay, for my sake.”
“At least take Cherine!”
“She is the one, of all of them, who cannot leave. Rob has some very bad times ahead of him and she must help little Cherine give him courage and a reason for fighting.”
“Where will you go?”
“I do not know. Not amongst man. Alone, a wanderer and a failure I might be left alone. Here, I have to be killed.”
“So you have reasons, you are not just being emotional?”
“Alki, since when have I been emotional?” He stared at me and tried a smile, but it was not in his heart.
“I must get you some cash, you will need money.”
“With money I am a man waiting to become a victim.”
“That is stupid! You cannot stay penniless, I will not have it! Whenever you can, let me know where you are and I’ll send more - I will not have you going hungry, you hear me?” I let him go and fetch his money, he needed to feel he is still protecting me. I collected my documents, passport and so on. Tasso came to me.
“You will call me if you need help?”
“Yes Tasso, I will.”
“You promise?”
“I promise. You may regret asking me to promise.”
“Ποτέ! (Never!)”
1226
I had something to eat, my girls all pressed up against me and then I went to the bed to sleep and to give my healer time to strengthen me. To tell the truth, I was still in shock, I could not believe the calamity which had come out of nowhere so suddenly. I had been so cocky, so certain I was invulnerable!
I lay down next to my heart, watching her face as I fell asleep. It is my last comfort to take with me, the feel of my loves trying to touch me at least, their warmth and love surrounding me. I slept a dreamless sleep and awoke to find Cherine staring at my face. She did not mask her emotions as my eyes opened, she let me see them and placed her cheek to mine.
“You will come back I know, else I would be dying. Wendy reminded us of what Samantha from the future said. You will still be here then. But my days will be empty without you. I’ll not have anyone to fight and tease with.”
“Try to re-establish your link with me every night. Just once a day. If that can return, then we can change the future so as to fit it to the promise of Samantha. Sam, get Rob to help our alien friends and give them my love.”
I had a last shower and dressed in jeans and good solid shoes that would last me a while. A few spare underclothes wrapped in a small towel and I was more or less ready to leave. I looked around for Aganthi to call her to me. She was not amongst my girls or anywhere in the house. My heart began to race with fear. If she had gone out she was exposed, in danger. The girls, her daughter, they all tried to feel where she is, but felt nothing.
“What do I do now? If something has happened to her I do not have the heart to leave. If however she is waiting for me, my delay in leaving will increase her danger.”
That was just the excuse everyone wanted and they agreed I should wait to make sure she is alright. If I waited she would have to return, they reasoned.
“All of you stop it! Robert love, you go. If I can I’ll let you know how she is. If she is out there waiting for you, then you let us know.” When she stood back, letting the others hug me, I knew she had said her goodbye while lying cheek to cheek with me. I wondered where she gets her strength from - until I saw the deep love shining out of her eyes.
“Okay my sweet minx, what did she tell you?”
“She said you are right to go, the change waits for you somewhere where you will be alone. She said you will always have two shadows. The one you must not fear and the other, fear for it. Do not allow the sun to kill it. Follow your feet for they will take you to that place your heart cannot find.”
“Charlie, is that how you also talked to your tourists? I bet it made you a lot of money.” I paused and thought awhile. “Cherine, she always seems to talk in riddles and yet we find later there was a simple explanation. Do you think Aganthi is the second shadow?”
“I had thought she was talking of our love that would be with you always.”
“That is not the shadow baby, that is the sun.”
Her lip trembled for a moment. I stepped to her and took her into my arms. I breathed in the fragrance of her. “Always my love. I’ll see the sun and feel the warmth and know it is your love. My sweet wonderful family.”
As I turned to leave I felt a tear trickle down my cheek and so did not turn back for a last look. As I left the house and walked onto the pavement I waited for some kind of thunderbolt to hit me. Nothing. All that happened is that every step took me further away from my loved ones.
I bought myself an exercise book, good and thick with many pages and a couple of ballpoint pens. I will continue my diary, encrypted to the best of my ability, though I doubt there will be much of interest to anyone else, when there is anything to write of, apart from the ache, the terrible hollowness within me as I follow my feet.
When I came to a traffic light I saw the usual kids begging. I called to them. I flashed some money.
1227
“Is this how much you normally make in a day? Fine, I’ll give you double on one condition. Go to the park and play, take the rest of the day off.” As I walked my way out of Athens and it’s suburbs I repeated my gesture whenever I saw poor beggar kids. It was the best way to get rid of the money Alki had given me. I kept only enough to provide for the odd meal and my fare.
Originally I had thought I would be walking north up into Europe, but the thought of the Winter ahead of me turned my feet south. Days later I arrived at Patras and took the ferry to Brindizi. It could not but help remind me of the last time I travelled this route with my Cherine and I stood outside, on deck, facing the cold wind so that none would remark upon the tears that fanned out over my cheeks. I almost felt I would welcome the spider striking me so that this pain would end. I had bought a ‘deck’ ticket and spent the night huddled against the cold. I had also decided the food on board the ship was too expensive and waited for Brindizi.
I woke up from the cold before the sun had risen. I turned to struggle to my feet and saw a small packet next to me. I opened it and found some feta cheese, an onion and village bread. I wondered which kind soul had been so thoughtful. Must be some peasant woman sharing her meagre rations. I mentally thanked her and ate it as I stood at the stern watching the gradual breaking of the dawn.
I made a reverse-charges call from Brindizi. The twins answered and both tried to talk and I laughed at the memory of them that shot through me. They told me Aganthi has not been seen and they are worried, her daughter often in tears. For a moment I considered returning.
“Robert, this is Cherine. I know you want to return for Aganthi. Don’t, you have to carry on. We’ll find her.”
“I have a feeling you will not, at least until she decides to return. Cherine I do not have a bad feeling about her. Maybe she too needed some time to herself. The changes have been difficult for all of us. If none of you can sense her, then the spider can’t either.”
“I’ll tell Irene.”
“I really miss not being able to send you my love. I have some walking to do so do not expect another call for a while.”
“Whether you can feel it or not Robert, we all send our love to you all the time. We asked the protector to check on you, but it refuses to leave us - I could kill it!”
I laughed, happy to hear the spirit in her voice. “Not that I can understand why. I’d have thought you would be glad to get rid of me for a while. About the protector, I agree with it, since it will know should I die.”
“Robert, joke about the spider, about being hungry and tired. Anything but not about our love.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Roberto, this is Dommi, you make sure you survive this Australian walkabout of yours. We want you back.”
“Thank you my love. Give my kisses to all…”
“You do not get off that lightly. Little Candy will be heartbroken if you don’t say hello to her.”
“Robbie? Can’t I come to you please?”
“Candy baby, you will see me again - just make sure you are still as sweet. I love you my baby, more than you can imagine.”
“Ollo kosmo?”
“Dommi taught you that? Yes, ‘Ollo kosmo’.”
“I send you kisses every night before I sleep. Can you feel them?”
“In my heart baby. Right in my heart. I hope you are being brave and looking after Irene, she must be missing her mummy something terrible.”
1228
“We all do. Now she is gone nobody cooks if Marian doesn’t. I saw your honey in the kitchen this morning and I wanted to cry but I didn’t, I knew you would not want me to.”
“That’s my girl. I’ll be calling again in a week or so. Look after yourself for me please.”
“Okay. I promise. Love you.”
I felt the pain an impossible knot and sat down on the pavement. I tried to relax my mind, wash all thoughts out, but my little girls would not let me. Finally I stood up and walked. The mindless plodding seemed to enable me to reach a state of tranquillity that nothing else did. I was so distraught I forgot to buy some bread and slept hungry in a field by the road.
I woke to the sound of a tractor starting up. That meant there must be a farmhouse nearby. I wondered whether they would run me off as I walked over. As I arrived I saw a very thin woman, her frame all stringy and tough, her hands gnarled into claws. She eyed me with mistrust, but did not speak.
“Bon giorno. Aqua por favor?” I gestured to show myself washing my face.
“Engles?”
“Si.”
She gestured me to a concrete basin with a tap in the yard. I thanked her and taking off my shirt, freezing though it was, I washed myself and my shirt and some underclothes of the previous days. I threw my clothes over a dead bush and waited, shivering, for them to dry. The woman appeared with a worn blanket, gave it to me and walked away with her mouth compressed in a thin pale angry line. It was more than a surprise then when she returned with a mug of coffee, no milk of course, and two thick slices of bread. I thanked her again, but she looked even more angry than before and went back to her work.
I wondered why she was so angry with me and why had she fed me if she was so angry. It took me a while to understand that she was not angry with me, but with herself for feeling charitable, when her common sense told her not to. To her I must have seemed to be a parasite who lives off hard working people like her while I traipse (τριγυρνώ) around the world enjoying myself.
There was not anything obvious I could do to repay her, their farm was very small and everything seemed to be in order. I could not even ask her. Feeling guilty, I tried to ask my healer to go to her and fix whatever needed fixing. Since I could not communicate with it either, I just had to hope it did. I sat facing away from where she did her work and let my mind return to my girls and my friends. I wondered what they are doing. Is Rob coping? Have they been attacked? I wondered what they think of me now, a leader who has walked away from his people in the middle of a battle for survival. I also took some time to fool around with an algorithm, creating a code of my own, and wrote my first pages in my diary.
I sat with my eyes closed to the over-bright Italian sky, deeply immersed within my own world of darkness. I wondered at this strange compulsion that has sent me following my feet. When I looked up again I saw that it was almost noon and the woman was standing in front of me. Tears were running down her cheeks and she took my hand and kissed it. I did not understand what she was rambling on about in such awe and excitement, until she opened and closed her fingers in front of my face. Now I recalled how gnarled they had been, the joints swollen. A fierce joy came to me. My healer had responded to my request. She saw my eyes and I do not know what she thought, but she hastily crossed herself.
I put on my shirt and jeans jacket, rolled up my washing and thanked her. I walked off towards the road. She called out to me, but I did not want to go through all her incomprehensible gestures and speeches of gratitude and kept on walking.
As the sun was about to set, I began to search for a suitable spot to sleep. A bit of a windbreaker would have been most welcome. I saw the dark form of someone waiting by the side of the road so I decided I better walk on a way.
1229
As I drew up to it I saw it was a woman. She spoke to me, but the extent of my knowledge of Italian was just enough for a greeting. As I made to walk past her she gestured to me. It was the gestures I’d made, asking to wash my face. I stopped and looked at her. She took my arm, pleading with her eyes, so I let her lead me to her home.
We had hardly arrived at her home when a car pulled up. It was the farmer and his wife of that morning. It was quite sweet, she had obviously dolled herself up, but it served as a warning for me. I was soon proven right as other cars arrived. A young man in his late twenties, thickset and powerful looking introduced himself. He had been asked to come along because he can speak English.
“The woman says you cured her arthritis. It was very painful for her to walk and her hands were a torture. We have seen her hands and see she speaks the truth.”
“She has misunderstood. It was not I who cured her, it was her own heart that did so. She gave me food though I had not asked for it. She let me rest myself and put a blanket around my shoulders when I shivered with the cold.” The woman who had come to the road spoke rapidly, her voice strident from her anxiety and need. He answered her gently.
“I am Sylvestro. This woman is my aunt. She begs you to help. Her son had an accident and broke his back three years ago. He lies in his room paralysed. Will you cure him she asks. Must I tell her you cannot?”
“Where is the father?”
“He is inside. He wants nothing to do with this. I must tell you, he asked I come, not for my English, but because I am a policeman. He fears you are a crook, cheating people who have a need and are simple country people.”
“Tell him he is right. You tell him that my price for helping is a price he cannot pay and for that reason his son will remain paralysed.”
His face paled and I saw anger smouldering deep within him. “You claim you can cure him, but your price is too high for him to pay?”
“I told you, I do not cure anyone. There has to be love, if there is love, compassion, then that can be directed to curing the sufferer. Since he has no love, how can his son be cured?”
“But the price?”
“I told you, he cannot pay it - you have not understood yet? The woman this morning, she paid the price, she allowed her compassion to make her do what she did not want to, that was the price she paid. This man, the father, he has no love for his son?”
“I must speak the truth? No, there is no love. When he married my aunt she was already expecting the child of another man. He has never allowed her to forget it and he shows no love for the boy.”
“Tell him then that he has had his revenge, he can let go his bitterness now. His love could have saved the son, made him whole again.”
“Cannot the love of his mother cure him?”
“No. Sylvestro, you love your parents, you would do anything for them? That is natural. If you catch a criminal who has committed a terrible crime that sickens you and yet, when you see his wife and child you feel compassion and give them your help and protection, then you have the gift. Not when you give love to your parents, for you already love them. There is a flowering, a blossoming within the heart when you give love or compassion almost against your will.
Love, compassion, empathy, these are gifts given to mankind. Some say they were given for the purpose of making us suffer and become weak. Others do not attach any importance to these emotions, for they know the world is a hard place and you must guard your heart at all times. Then there are those who see these as the gifts they are and count them as blessings that enrichen their lives. Sometimes when there is a blossoming of the heart I become a catalyst, showing those who are part of that experience the true power of love. There is nothing for me to do here, I should leave now.”
1230
While talking, my thoughts had crystallised and I decided there will always be a price to my helping of others. The woman of the morning had shown me what the price should be, making every healing a gift that enriches the lives of others, not only the one cured. This was my test case, so to speak. I had noticed the shadow of the man inside, he had been listening to what I said and the translation by Sylvestro. The mother of the boy gave a cry as my words were repeated and sank to the ground. The other women gathered around her, consoling her I supposed.
Sylvestro seemed bemused by our conversation. “I cannot arrest you for asking such a price. I think you will not be curing many people then.”
“I am sorry to say you are right. Would this man agree to come to the bedside of the son with me?”
“I will ask him.” He walked into the house and his steps were very determined. We all heard the voice of the father, but Sylvestro could not be heard, his voice just a soft insistent murmur. I was weary and went to sit on what must have been a generator once upon a time. Even with my healer I could only keep going so long on what I was eating.
The women had brought the mother back to her feet and she listened, as they all did, to the conversation in the house. Her eyes turned from the window she was watching towards me and there was such a plea in them I could not bear to look upon her and turned my eyes to the ground at my feet. The farmer of that morning came to my side and extended a packet of cigarettes. I smiled my thanks and took one. He stood by my side as we smoked.
“The father refuses. He thinks you are a crook and are doing this to lay the blame for not healing the son upon him.”
“Sylvestro, all I have been given here is one cigarette. I have not offered to cure the boy, I was brought here, so there can be no blame on me if I do not. I do not understand his argument. What he really means is that he cannot find any love for the boy in him and fears to let all see it. You are listening to me from inside, hear this then. I offer to heal the boy, but you must pay the price. If you agree to let me transfer his pain to you, make you take his paralysis, I will give him your health and he shall walk and run again. Is your heart big enough to do that?”
I added quietly, “Sylvestro, stop the mother from going in to him. She must not plead or make him agree. It is a terrible price to ask of a man - to be paralysed for the rest of his life! She must wait and let him decide.”
The drama of the situation had even these country folk silent for once. They all waited. The door opened and the father walked out. He was a short swarthy man made even uglier by his large beak nose. He marched up to me, his eyes burning with a cold fire and spoke to me in broken English.
“I offer. But this is my condition. If you do not heal him I will break your back.”
“Agreed. We also need to agree what happens if I heal him. Do I have the promise of all here that I will be allowed to leave immediately? No thank you’s or other gestures. Sylvestro, you have a car, will you take me a few kilometres further down the road?”
“I agree.”
I told the man, “Take me to the boy then. Only you, just the two of us.”
As we walked down the corridor to the room of the boy I felt a wave of dizziness and leant a moment against the wall. He turned and stared at me.
“What is wrong, you are afraid the moment is coming for you to pay for making promises you cannot keep?”
“No, it is not that. I am just tired and eating only bread for days on end does not help.”
“Then you will eat first. I will not have it said I broke the back of a man fainting from hunger.”
“And I will not accept food not offered willingly - the Greeks have a saying that such food is bitter and does not nourish. I do not need any strength to cure him, it is you who is paying the price.”
I pulled myself together and walked past him. The door was open and I saw the lad. He must have been about seventeen though it was difficult to tell, his face and body looked wasted by the despair he felt within him. I only glanced, gave him a smile and left.
A strong claw-like hand grabbed me. “Where are you going? You stay and heal him.”
“Are you hoping I will not so that you are proven right or do you really wish to see him stand again?”
Αλέξανδρος Ζήνον Ευσταθίου
(Alexander Zenon Eustace)25th June, 2019
- posted on Steemit: 25th June, 2019