I allowed my passion and love for her to play like bolts of lightning across my mind and kept secret my yearning for those early days when I had to control myself and enjoyed those little girl feelings when sex was still new and strange to her. I hopefully will feel those feelings many more times in my life, but it was with my sweet adorable Cherine I yearned to sense them again.
1191
The urgency of lust quenched for the time being, I still had the need to touch her and to inhale her sweet milky breath. I tasted her body, every centimetre of her and inhaled the fragrance of her skin. Slowly this built up our needs as she reciprocated and we made love again.
As we lay against each other, her arms tightly holding me, she murmured. “We should have invented the spider a long time ago. I missed having you to myself now and then.”
“When they return they will share all our memories, I hope they do not take what you said in the wrong way.”
“Don’t be silly Robert, they know I feel this way - they all feel the same way too.”
“Yes, but they will all feel how I especially enjoy being with you.”
She looked up at me fondly, kissed my lips softly. “That is what we all love about you Robert, you feel this way for each of us. You know something? I think you have made me into a degenerate - is that the right word? You know what I dream of?”
“Are you going to shock me?”
“A little. I’ve got used to the idea that you will make love to all the daughters we have together and their daughters too. I would like to have dozens of daughters with you because when you make love to my daughter it is as if you are saying you love me. When you have daughters with them and they have daughters with you, it will be as if all that love and all those babies will be our love.”
“You were right. Don’t you dream of having any sons Cherine?”
“Someday! When I do, I want to have their daughters too, but then they must be yours for you to love and have daughters with again.”
“Whoa! You’re making me dizzy. You are right love, you are a degenerate; kinky is the word!”
“Then what are you? I felt how excited it made you feel.”
“Sounds as if you are planning to create a whole nation of Cherine and Robert descendants.”
“No! I want a whole world of them. Meli can make one for us.”
“Hold it love, it is okay to fantasise about it, but don’t go making plans!”
She giggled. “You get scared so easily Robert!” Since she had got me excited again, it seemed a pity to waste the opportunity.
The next morning we found that Alki had moved from the guest room he had gone to bed in, to one furthest removed from ours. She gave me a mischievous grin, “Bet you he’ll still be able to hear me scream!”
In between the times spent cuddling my girl and talking with Alki I sat creating images of my experiences. Alki took a look and I explained he could not use these as the spider would then know how I was attacking him and why I am immune to their energy net.
1192
I did a few of my girls, for instance, I did one of Meli as I imagined her when opening the way for us to go to her world with light streaming from her hands. I did another of Em-e from our stay in Cyprus, my still shy girl. Drawing them helped bring them closer to me.
If we were observed, our relaxed attitude must have been deceptive. The only one busy was Alki - and that is normal for him. He was obviously enjoying himself as he used every skill he has to disguise his investments so that they cannot be tied to him. Some of the companies are not on any Stock Exchange yet and it required some confidential negotiations through third parties, directors in off-shore companies acting on his instructions.
What no observer could have guessed was that the battle has taken a new turn. Ordinx and Solomon have begun the infiltration of the major cities and they are already receiving news of persons identified, it is now a matter of first confirming they are part of the other group.
At about seven in the evening our landline telephone rang.
“Hello.”
“Mr Teller? No introductions are necessary. Please do not waste our time trying to trace this call, it has been re-routed through a number of satellites.”
“You are calling to issue an ultimatum or to negotiate?”
“To make you an offer, there is no need for us to continue this senseless fighting. I’m prepared to offer you a high position within my organisation, second to myself. Your group will remain under your command and I will not object to you recruiting new members. This is a generous offer and your last opportunity to end this conflict before we destroy you and your group. I am aware that you have taken steps to hide the major part of your group, but I offer this information as a sign of my goodwill - Mr Teller, we know where you have hidden them and could have executed them since they are not directly under your protection at present. Surely you did not think there is anywhere on this planet that you could hide them without my finding them?”
I replied, “I have a better offer to make you. You have over time acquired vast wealth and power. You may keep what you have. However, I will require that you no longer use your powers to hurt or kill. I will be able to monitor the situation and I will retaliate immediately if you break your agreement.”
“It seems you are under the delusion that you are in a position to negotiate. My offer is strictly a one time offer and I will no longer take a soft stand if you refuse it.”
“You mean that trying to kill my little girls was a soft stand by you? You have something else worse than that in mind if I do not accept?”
“I see I am wasting my time. Goodbye Mr Teller.” The phone call was cut off.
I had to explain and share with the others what was said. “What I find interesting is first of all that he or she knows the group is no longer here. The second is that he claims to know where they are. Both supply us with information we did not have. The first shows that despite our protection they are able to sense what is happening in here. The second is that they have no idea where the group is. That means they cannot hear our conversations.”
“I’ll presume you have your reasons for the last statement. What do you think is the true reason for making the call? You do not believe the offer was made in earnest?”
“I think they intended to panic us into rushing off to the rest of our group, leading them to our place of hiding. I think they must be concerned. When I had so many to protect I was able to repulse their attacks and keep every single person of our group safe. With only three of us, they must be aware they do not stand a chance now.”
“Are you going to react in any way?”
“No Alki. Lack of action on my behalf at this moment will only worry them. With good reason of course.” I gave a wry grin. “I think we should show how concerned we are by ordering a meal fit for a king.”
“You mean they know what we order?”
1193
“Of course Cherine. I am waiting for our first poisoned meal. They will try it for that is the way they think. When it comes, I think I will eat it out in the garden where they can see me. I haven’t decided yet whether I should amuse myself by putting on a show for them. If they think I am poisoned they may decide to attack, which is something I would welcome.”
Ordinx chose that moment to arrive. We brought him up to date.
“If the person called you, it was not possible to tell from the voice whether it was male or female?”
“Ordinx, there is no way I would know whether it was the spider calling or just someone pretending to be him. As for the voice, there is technology that can change the voice either way. If it was the spider, I can only be certain of one thing - I did not hear the true voice. It is aware I know this and by choosing a male voice it may have done so thinking I will then think it is a female, whereas it is a male. Or it may be a female. Either way it does not matter.”
“You asked that we do not attack the powers of any person we identify as being the enemy until you give the word. We have identified eight persons up to now.”
“Good. Let’s not do anything yet Ordinx. Once we have identified enough of them to make a strong impact, then we attack.”
“That leaves you open to attack in the meantime.”
“I am hoping they will. They will be forced to use new to us powers. The more we know about them, the better.”
“You were about to order food? This body does not require nourishment, but I enjoy the taste of certain of your foods. I may join you?”
I grinned. “Ordinx, it is not the food you enjoy, it is the alcohol. It would be our pleasure to eat and get merry with you.”
In the old days I would have instructed the protector to first protect the others. I have matured though and appreciate the importance of my staying alive so as to continue to be their protector. By now my trust in the abilities of the protector are absolute and I also trust my healer to be capable of saving any of us, even should our bodies be almost totally destroyed.
When the food arrived, I went to the front door to pay and take the food. As I stood in the open doorway handing the money over, I felt a tingling. Before I could react I collapsed, my body totally paralysed. Cherine screamed. The young man who had brought the meals placed the boxes on the floor and knelt by my side.
“Get away from him.” Alki was ready to charge at the young man who looked up frightened.
“I did not do anything. He just collapsed. It must be a heart attack.”
Alki grabbed the money from my hand and got rid of him and closed the door. It made no difference, even if anyone had shot at us, the protector would stop the bullets. What it and the healer could not do was get rid of my paralysis.
“Roberto, what must we do?”
*Cherine, I cannot even talk. It is almost impossible to breathe. Tell them not to panic. If necessary we let the body die and I will wait for them as the void.*
“We will not let your body die!” She told the other two what I had said.
“Ordinx, we must carry him to the room where our medical equipment is. We can put him on the respirator there. Will your heart continue to beat Roberto mou?”
*I do not know. At the start I could still feel my body, but it has faded away. This is a mental attack of some sort. It may be that the only way for me to fight it is to become the void. I’ll return soon.*
It did not matter what energy I placed around my body I could not see even traces of any energy attacking me. Since it was pointless to stay as the void I returned.
1194
*The attack must have been almost instantaneous. They probably shut down or gave my brain the order to shut down part of itself. They are not attacking me now. I have to find a way to undo what they did to me.*
“Robert, I’m coming in to your mind. Relax and let me search.”
*What if the same happens to you, the power they used may still be inside my brain.*
“I’m coming Robert! Please don’t fight me.”
*This is a really strange time for you to be coming love - you are really getting kinky.*
*Just shut up, be funny later. I need to concentrate.*
While she was searching, my sight went. Then my sense of taste. *Cherine! Get out now!! It is shutting down my brain, you’ll get trapped in here. I’m leaving, I cannot afford to get trapped in my skull. Get out my love, please.*
I could not leave while I sensed her within me and she refused to leave. She was using my healer and the protector to help her.
*What part of your brain is being shut down now?*
*Sense of touch.*
I was no longer aware of anything outside my body. Although I am able to search the brains of others, I am not able to search through my own brain. That is true for all of us. What Cherine was doing made sense in that way, but I was terrified that whatever was doing this to me could leap over into her mind and then brain. For that reason I abstained from remaining in contact with her, not arguing any further and keeping my mind ready for instant flight should I sense my thinking processes under attack.
I felt a tingling and then my whole body seemed to be on fire. Even within this torment, I managed to prepare myself for leaping off into the void. But then I heard Cherine, *Hold on darling, we found it.*
It was as if everything within me went crazy. I saw flashes of lightning that hurt my eyes, heard sounds that tore at my eardrums and my skin continued to burn and then it itched and I felt as if I was being torn open by hundreds of metal spikes. If I could have I would have screamed, but since I could not, I screamed in my mind, broadcasting it.
Suddenly, as if it had all been only my imagination, all the sensations stopped. I could feel myself lying on a bed, air being forced into my lungs by a mask on my face. I ripped it off as I opened my eyes.
Only Ordinx was standing by my side. He saw me looking and looked down. I turned my head and saw Alki unconscious on the floor. Even as I looked at him he groaned and moved. A few minutes later Cherine was by my side. Ordinx helped Alki to his feet.
“Christe kai Panagia! Roberto mou, you sent me your pain - how could you bear it!”
“I did not have any option.” I smiled, still too weak to get up. I checked with the healer and it promised me I will soon be fully recovered.
Ruefully I told them, “Well, I wanted them to attack to find out what other weapons they had!”
Cherine was livid. “You think it was funny! You nearly died!”
“How could I? I’ve got the healer, the protector and you! This power must belong to a cracker, the damn thing was like a virus, using my own brain to replicate itself and attack other centres of my brain. I do not think I want to learn this power.”
I had to explain to Ordinx what I was talking about. He immediately let his people know to be on the lookout for it.
“We better eat before the food gets cold.”
“It must have got cold a long time ago. Are you serious Roberto, you want to chance eating it after what you just went through?”
1195
“Yes, I’m hungry. As I’d thought of doing, I’m going to eat it in the garden. That should give them at least the shock of seeing I survived their attack, and if the food is poisoned, they will be convinced their attack left me mentally damaged - as you are probably wondering too! If my healer says it is poisoned and can handle the poison I shall show a great amount of relish in eating it. ”
Alki said, “I hope you will not be upset that I do not join you? I’d rather open tinned food.”
“Cherine?”
She shrugged, “Even the tinned food could be poisoned. If you eat, then so will I.”
I opened the boxes and tasted of every meal. All was fine. I took a piece of bread and dipped it in some tarama and ate it. The healer warned me the bread is poisoned. It was able to alter a few of the chemicals that made the poison fatal and I suffered no ill effects. It confirmed it is safe for Cherine to eat it also, as her healer knows what steps to take. I asked the protector to warm the food for us - I think it did a much better job than any micro-wave oven can.
The three of us sat at our garden table and ate, Alki and Ordinx avoiding the bread. Cherine had a couple of slices, but I ate all of it. Cherine went to the kitchen and made coffees for us as we sat drinking our wine. The healer had been altering the poison once it was within my mouth and a side effect was it gave the bread a disgusting taste, so I used the wine to clear my palate. Once the coffee came, I drank it slowly with a cigarette and then we returned inside.
“Robert, we now have identified twenty seven of their group.”
“Let me know when we have over two hundred.”
“Ordinx, if we neutralise them, say two hundred of them, will your people still be able to continue identifying the rest of them?”
“You fear they will stop using their powers, Alki? The first stage, that of identifying them does not require that they use their powers.”
“I know you are impatient to hit back Roberto, but it might be more prudent to wait until you have most of them.”
“I don’t agree Alki, though I’m willing to be corrected. If we neutralise about two hundred of them, the number is significant enough to worry them. They will then try to hide their powers or they will make a grandstand and attack en force. Either way we win. If they try to hide, the fact that we are still able to identify and neutralise them will make them feel vulnerable, with the end result that they are forced to attack with all they have. So, either way, we can expect a strong attack. In anticipation of that I want to use this window of time we have to stock up and move into an area far from other people. Will the ranch be ready?”
“Yes. All livestock have been removed. I’ll see to it that food is sent immediately.”
“If you do that now, we could take a trip. Would you like to spend a day with Marian and your kids? Ordinx, perhaps you and Solomon would like to come with? We will only be gone from here a few minutes.”
He collected Solomon and soon as Alki was ready we jumped.
I was upset to find I had not thought things through. Some of my people were staying in the hotel in the village close by, but it only had about sixteen rooms so the rest had been put up in another village a bit further away. My first reaction was displeasure at them being split up, but they pointed out it was better this way as it would have led to gossip about so many people arriving at one village and gossip can travel.
The Cherine of this world and her parents were sleeping at home, jumping there and back. I could not decide whether it was prudent or not, but decided not to interfere.
1196
They were all overjoyed to see us and we gathered at the farm to let them see in our minds what had happened. The attack on me frightened them, as they felt they had been close to losing me. The discussion became quite heated, so I collected the twins, the three Wendy’s and Irene and took a walk through the fields. I swung Candy and Irene onto my shoulders when they got tired and we stopped to sit at the stream.
“I’m cold Robbie.” I made them all sit close to me and created a bubble of warmth for them.
“Robbie, will I grow up like the others?”
“Candy love, there is no reason for you not to.”
“But you will already have a big Wendy. I want to stay small for you, then I’ll be the only one you have.”
“You will not be another Wendy. You will be my one and only Candy. You started off as being the same, but you are growing different from her love. Each of you will be part of my heart in a unique way. Same as the twins each have their own corner of my heart.”
“How do you know which corner to put each of us in?”
“I don’t. You each find your own corner.”
“Then I want a big corner!”
The other girls laughed at this, but I answered her seriously, “Each of you takes as much of my heart as you need. There is plenty of space for you all even though each and every one of you fills my heart up.”
The twins looked thoughtful and Alexis asked, “If you cannot tell us apart, how can we each have our own corner?”
“Often I can’t, especially when you don’t want me to, but my heart can. Don’t forget that each of you has given a sliver of yourselves to me and you each have a sliver of me. You are truly unique within me.”
“That means you could know which one of us it is whenever you want?” They both looked crestfallen (απογοητευμένοι) at the thought.
“As I said, only when you want me to. If you want to play games and mix us up I would not. Loves, to see who is who with you two is easy if I look into your minds. I would never do that without you inviting me in - ask Dommi or Wendy, I don’t dare!”
Candy asked, “Do you feel a little sleepy Robbie?”
“Why?”
“When you go to bed you will take some of the other girls that you can make love to. I was hoping you could sleep for a little with me now.”
They were all touched by her need and pretended to need half an hour of sleep. I lay down and put her on my chest where she wrapped her tiny legs and arms around me and with the top of her head just under my chin she fell asleep. It was difficult for me to sleep, the feelings of holding her were too sweet, but I had to, so that she would awaken and feel me sleeping. It took me a while but I dozed off and woke up an hour later. I sensed her lying there, her ear to my chest, listening to my heart and the comfort and warmth of love within her were a balm that poured over my heart and brought me somewhere very close to where heaven is.
There has been, for some time now, a tendency by most of the Cherinians to question me on decisions they need to make in their personal lives The next morning as I had my toast and honey (Rob has the same tastes in that) with real fresh milk, I was being pestered with questions and being asked for advice. Rob had spent the night over with his Cherine and they arrived as my breakfast ended.
I took the hand of his Cherine and asked her to join me for a walk.
“Just me? Can’t my Robbie come?”
“I was hoping we could spend a little time alone so as to get to know each other better.”
1197
She looked up at me with a quizzical look. “Can we go where I like?”
“You want to jump somewhere? You better show me the place in your mind.”
Proudly she answered, “I can take you there.” So I let her.
I did not have a clue where we were and looked around at the tropical beach. She tugged at my hand.
“Come, a little bit further there is a woman who sells green coconuts - I love drinking coconut milk.”
“I hope she takes dollars.”
She kept pulling as we walked, so I let her run ahead and loped after her. As we came around a curve I saw a small village and followed her to a hut.
“Jumbo.” She called out and I heard the answering “Karibou memsab mdogo.” I gave a start. She had brought me to somewhere in East Africa.
She got her coconuts and we went further along the beach until we were alone. She stopped and taking off her socks and shoes, she walked into the water. I did the same and found we could walk a great distance without it getting deeper.
“We better not go too far out, when the tide turns we will need to get out fast, unless you feel like swimming.”
“Silly, we can jump.”
We walked along, gazing down at the life literally between our feet. She slipped and fell into a pool of water, her dress soaking wet. She got up laughing and took it off. I carried it for her as she continued in her panties.
She asked, “What did you want to talk about?”
“In a way we have already been talking the way I wanted. Just being together, sharing an experience is also a way of talking, a better word is communicating.”
“What did we say?” she threw back at me impishly.
“Oh, a whole lot of things. Right now I think your sweet little bum is talking through your wet panty as you waggle it naughtily at me. I’m teasing love, don’t get self-conscious on me, I love the way it looks. You really want to know what we’ve been saying? First of all you have been saying something I needed to hear very badly. You have been telling me that you are not afraid of me anymore and you are not even angry with me. It might be wishful thinking, but I also feel you’ve been saying you even like me a little now.”
“Sometimes. Sometimes not.”
“When are the ‘nots’?”
She turned and stared at me, her expression serious, almost scolding. “Why won’t you let my Robbie have a protector?”
“Whatever gave you the idea I don’t want him to have one? I’d love for him to. Cherine sweetheart, do you know how much difference it would make to my life? We would all be safer, I would not have to worry about you in this world. It is not me love. I do not know how I got mine, so I cannot show him how to get his. Mine just came when I needed it.”
Being Cherine she had not been listening to my words, she had listened to my emotions and she accepted what I said and turning walked on. She crouched over a deeper pool within the coral we were walking on, with the bottom of her bum in the water. She watched a shell moving and got up when it stopped. She was totally unselfconscious and as she turned to look at me I saw she too has the same glorious sex bump.
She caught my eyes looking at her, she looked down at herself and gave me that same mysterious Cherine smile. “You are not fair like my Robbie is. When we walk here and I take off my dress he also takes his pants off. Then we are the same.”
1198
“I would do the same with my Cherine.”
She pulled her panty down. “Is hers prettier than mine?”
“Pull it up love. You know that both of you are exactly the same, just that you are younger.”
“Your wee-wee got bigger, I can see it.”
“You can also feel my body responding. It is responding to the memories you bring back of when I first started to love my Cherine.”
She dipped into my mind and pulled a face, slightly disappointed. After that she no longer teased me with her little body and we came closer as friends. When she got tired we jumped back and as the dress was nearly dry now, I put it on her and we returned to the village. They had some fresh lobster and tiger prawns which they grilled for us.
As we half lay under some shade I asked her if she minded us bringing all the others for a day at the beach. She said she did not, but I was sensitive to her and realised it is a special place for her and Rob. I asked her where we are, in which country.
“Tanganyika.”
“You mean Tanzania?”
“Never heard of that, where is it?”
“It is the same place. In our world they changed the name. I was in Dar-es-Salaam for a holiday when I was a little boy, so I have a few memories of it. I think we should take everybody there, some of the adults might not like being without toilets and they will want to shower after swimming.”
She threw me a grateful smile and turned over onto her side, her back towards me. I sensed her struggling to frame a question and waited.
“Robert, if I did not have my Robbie in this world, would you have loved me?”
“Just as crazily as I love my own Cherine.”
“How can you love two of us the same?”
“Same as I love my Wendy and my Candy.”
She mulled over that thought for a while and wiggling into a more comfortable position she answered, “I’m glad” and she dozed off, the heat having got to her. I felt also a letting go of something that had been sore inside her and her sleep was filled with contentment. I sat looking at her and thanked god that she exists. Rob is very lucky.
She was laughing as she recounted details of our day. “And he got frightened the water would get too deep too fast. He forgot we could jump back!”
“She is the same as you love, enjoys it when I make a fool of myself.” I whispered to my Cherine.
She smiled at me with her eyes. “And you let her for the same reason?”
“Don’t get cynical on me love.”
“Is ‘cynical’ when you can see the truth?”
“You are growing up too fast my love.”
“We all are. I hope they don’t have the problems we had. Maybe they will not feel the fear and pain we did and they will not grow up so fast.”
I stared back at her and felt the tears stinging my eyes. “You mean you hope he is not as stupid as I was.”
1199
“Now who is being cynical? I was talking about the fight with the Sparklers and now with the spider.”
“You are still my sweet little girl.”
“I don’t think I ever was. I was always afraid to be sweet with you. I wonder why?”
“Afraid?”
“Not because of you silly. Because of me. After my daddy I mean.”
“Whether you like it or not, you are the sweetest thing that ever happened to me Cherine.”
Now it was her turn for her eyes to sting her and she cuddled me a little tighter. I gave her some time and then shooed her off. “We’ll be alone soon love, let me hold my other girls too.”
“Which one?”
“Dommi. My patient sweet Dommi.”
“She really wants to be back there with us, but she is not asking so as to give me time alone with you. You are right, she is very patient and sweet.”
“And scary at times.” I grinned at her as she turned to look at me, able as always to overhear my thoughts when they concerned her. She came and sat by my side and I placed my arm around her.
“Still love me Dominique?”
“A little.” She is not good at teasing, for even as she spoke her eyes betrayed her.
Ordinx had spent most of his time talking and drinking and was lightly intoxicated. I did not want to chance jumping until he was sober so I took away the booze and waited. We jumped soon as Solomon returned from visiting his counterparts of this reality.
“It is strange Robert, how a few small changes in the history of a people can make such a big difference. They have not even taken the same path in their evolution. I think we will be able to learn from them how to achieve the future you suggested for us.”
“Solomon, you will be giving to them by helping them release the souls they hold, it will be good if you can find a way for them to give to you in return.”
“Is that what you have been doing?”
“In what way!”
“You pretended that the fear of Jonathan was a mirror of ours. You knew that there was no possibility of us attacking your world. We would have to return to the void and there you would have killed us all.”
“And you took the pledge of my love, of herself and child and I took the pledge upon myself without conditions on my part Solomon. With you I could have no armour to protect my loved ones.”
“Of what lack of conditions do you speak Robert?”
“There is no condition that if you provoke me or attack my people her pledge is forfeited. I give that as an example. Solomon, we did not negotiate, we gave our pledges as friends. What armour would I have against friends? I only know how to fight against enemies.”
“What you speak of does not make sense. If your pledge was given as a friend and we attacked or provoked you, we would prove ourselves not to be friends.”
“Even then I would think of you as friends. Friends who, for some reason I do not understand, are attacking me. I would wonder what I had done to have forced you to do so.” I added, “When a person or a people, have proven themselves to be true friends, it would be shallow of me to react to an anger of theirs with hostility. I owe it, not only to them, but to myself, that I first do all I can to understand what has angered them and correct the situation.”
1200
“I had not expected that! You still manage to surprise me Robert.”
Ordinx sounded stern, “I must confess, I could never speak like that or make such pledges. You are wrong to do so Robert. This is not meant to cast any reflections on Solomon or his people, it is a comment on the wisdom of your way of thinking.”
“Probably a number of the Cherinians would agree with you Ordinx. I am determined to avoid the ways of politics for my people. Our history has shown they do not work in the long run. We are and must always remain a people who are guided by love.”
“That could become a trap that destroys your people.”
“It could also become what releases us from the traps of self interest and greed.”
Ordinx gave up on his argument, so he warned me, “I hope then for your sakes that you never give your friendship to those who would betray you. We will be releasing a great number of races in the future Robert, and they will all claim they wish to be friends. There will be those who will abuse the love you give. Do not set the existence of your people on the goodwill of others blindly.”
I could see Alki was in agreement with them and only keeping quiet out of loyalty. My Cherine was deep in thoughts of her own and what she heard did not disturb her, trusting in me, she casually dismissed their comments.
I have decided to write in here. Robert is right, I was deep in thought. I realised that he does not know certain things about himself and it may be good that he is told.
Robert has the most disturbing eyes. When he talks he stares into the eyes of the person he is talking to and it is as if he sees deep into that person. It makes many people a little uncomfortable and creates a feeling of awe of him. He also does not realise he has grown, the way he talks; the words are always gentle, but there is a quality in his tone of voice that says he expects to be obeyed, he does not demand it, but he expects it. The fact that he is so often amused by his own weaknesses also serves to confuse everyone. It makes them think that for him to be amused he has seen some truth they have not, and they feel the amusement comes from his not expecting them to understand him.
I understand one thing only. I love him. I love and trust him as I could only love and trust Robert. I have thought of a surprise for you my love, a gift that I know you will treasure - that we will both treasure. I will give it at some time that you will not expect it.
Cherine.
As always you manage to be short and sweet while leaving me also perplexed. I will not comment on what you say of my eyes and way of speaking, I need to think on it. It is strange how differently we are seen by others, the way we see ourselves never resembles the truth it seems. As for your surprise - it gives me something to look forward to. I know you too well my love, you would not plan something lightly, I know it will be very special.
I have come back from our visit with a lightness in my heart, feeling the change in the little Cherine of Rob has helped cleanse my heart too. Cleansed it of feeling I had acted in a way that harmed her. It is wonderful how different she is to my Cherine. Not having suffered the death of her father and the guilt, yet suffering her own death; her meeting her Robert when so much younger, these have all contributed to turning her into a very different person, though that sense of cheekiness and mischief in her are the same - thank goodness. She would be too much for Rob to handle, if she did not have them.
We are getting close to the two hundred mark. I am getting impatient and feel tempted to take action soon. Still, I think I should rather trust my judgement as it was at the time I made it, rather than now when I am itching to get it over with.
I must thank the spider when this is all over. If not for him, I would not have had this time alone with my Cherine. Somehow, I would have sworn it was impossible, we have grown even closer and she fills my world with a sparkle and joy far above anything I have felt before. It is strange that it is so, for since we have been alone she has refrained from using her emoting, the love I feel from her not being compounded within that circle she sends spinning to impossible heights. It might be that by only feeling from her the love she has for me, I am able more clearly to sense the depth it has and in the same way I am able to see my own love for her and how deep are the roots it has spread throughout me. If I thought I would die if I were to lose her before, then now it is a certainty.
Αλέξανδρος Ζήνον Ευσταθίου
(Alexander Zenon Eustace)22nd June, 2019
- posted on Steemit: 22nd June, 2019