I also kept my protective instincts for them and programmed in the childish shadow that was to be left of myself, the need to return frequently, hoping they would manage to capture it and heal me.
1121
This was all thought up on the spur of the moment, mostly designed by emotions, rather than reason, so I did not have time to think it through, try to foresee what problems could crop up. I trusted Cherine to not allow me to stay away or die and knew she would have the love and support of all of you.
I did not expect you to call on Rob to keep my body alive. He found the strength within himself to call upon my protector and that left me crippled even worse than I was supposed to be. I now acted blindly, hiding from my girls and repeatedly destroying whatever memories they repaired or replaced. I became my own worst enemy. At least I was in good company - for all of us are our own worst enemies.” He gave a sad little crooked grin that tore at our hearts.
“If you thought I was crazy before, god knows what you think of me now. I stand here tonight at your mercy, pleading for your forgiveness and understanding. I never meant to hurt you as I did.” I think all of us suffered a pain in our hearts at having to listen to him apologising to us.
Meli was the first to stand up. “He has not told you of what happened today.” She let us see and hear the conversation on her world with Ordinx. She then repeated aloud his words, “I regret Meli, no, Melina from now on, that you will have to accept that you will end up becoming a Mother and Goddess to our people. Robert has taught us that you people do not like being worshipped and we will not make that error again...” She paused for all of us to think about it. “I owe my reprieve to what Robert did. Cherine always says that whenever Robert makes a mistake and we suffer, it always seems to turn out that we also benefit from his error. I do not accept his apology. I want to thank him for risking himself to save me from not being treated as a human being or just as a little girl with a gift.” His face contorted and she ran into his arms.
In the silence, Socrati softly sang to himself a poignant song in Greek and it seemed to speak for all of us, our Greek love of tragedy and drama fitting the mood we were all in.
Before they all left, Robert asked them to join us for the birthdays of our Tina, Rosie and Diana in three days (the party would start on the 14th and end on the 15th so that all birthdays are celebrated).
“It is not expected that you bring gifts for them. The way my family is growing most of you would end up being bankrupted if you do. I ask that you bring each of them something without monetary value, but something that shows you thought of them. It could be a pebble that caught your eye, a flower, a drawing, anything that touches the heart.”
“Thanks a lot Robert! I think I would rather buy them a gift, it would be far easier.” We all laughed at Niko and that helped lighten the mood.
Robert was still in a penitent mood and we conspired to get him out of it. We decided to use the three birthday girls. We asked him to spend the next couple of days till their birthdays treating them in a very special way. He jumped at this and by the date of their birthdays they were glowing with that happiness which comes from being loved by the one we love. I am not talking about sex, not that there was none of that. It was his sitting with them, talking, asking their opinions. It was the jumps they took to beaches where they walked and sat at little tavernas. He treated them as his little princesses while he also kept their hearts filled with his love.
I wish Robert would take over this diary, I am not so good at talking of love and I am not able to write of the joy and tenderness of our bodies coming to each other. If he wrote of the sex as most men would, I might have tried, just so as to give a feminine point of view, but his writing is almost feminine in his concentration on feelings and the inspiration of love rather than the actual insertion of penis and so on.
Robert - I have agreed to take over the diary again. I have enjoyed reading and seeing how Dommi sees us and having her thoughts laid bare for all of us to see. She has promised to write here whenever she has anything to say. Perhaps with time the other girls will too. The girls have shared the bad memories of those who have been abused among them, so I no longer fear them seeing the pictures (the deleted ones still exist in a special folder), or my thoughts in here, so I showed them all how to get here and I expect to find their participation appearing soon. It is good that this turn into a family diary.
My biggest shock after returning to my body from my last misadventure was the change in Diana and the twins to a lesser extent. I had not realised how dependent on me she and they still are. Again a case of my not thinking things through. I have a feeling that if I help heal Diana, the twins will no longer need me to heal them also. Cherine seems to have got over her fear and is sassy as ever, pulling at my heartstrings with her cheeky ways and she even gave me her sweet but mysterious smile on our last weekend in Paphos - but I remain aware of a fragility (frailty) that was not there before, so I am careful of indulging my own fears and weaknesses.
1122
The truth is, it is the vulnerability of Diana which affected me the most. It is as if Cherine has passed on her fears to me and now I worry instead of her doing so. It terrifies me that I could do Diana harm again. The others are able to fight back, to argue with me, not my sweet little Diana. If only she were not so dependent on me! She is a particular delight to me and touches a part of my heart that no one else does. but it is not right that her happiness should depend on me so much.
I think it is time I talk a little about our dearest friend and father, Alki. Since adopting his kids he stabilised his age so that he looks between forty five and fifty. His love for Marian, their relationship opened him, and I thought he had truly blossomed into the potential Alki that he should have been.
I was nowhere near the mark. When he adopted his three children was when he truly blossomed. It was only then I realised what it had cost him, my taking his daughters into my circle. As the love he emitted grew in strength, Marian grew even softer with her love and that made his love grow even more. They are devoted to each other and we do not see them as often anymore. We can sense how he treasures those family moments, him and his wife alone at home with their children. The children are too young to become true Cherinians yet, but the gifts of feeling and emoting love are growing in them and thus they never seem to be naughty. Perhaps some inner part of them recalls their days in the orphanage and they are being careful not to upset their parents. They have not reached the stage where they can take them for granted yet.
Alki has kept his word and arranged for the little boy to get his instruction in the religion of his biological parents. He is too young for it to be important yet, but what he sees and hears will be imprinted on his mind. This brought about a conversation between us.
“Roberto, what do you think will happen when he grows up? As a Cherinian, do you think his religion will be as important to him?”
“The matter of religion still puzzles me Alki. You are a Greek Orthodox. You have been to the void, you have seen our souls and have seen death being cheated by us. Yet you still go to your church and cross yourself. I have felt how the singsong voice of the priest, the monotonous chanting of the others and even the smell of the burning resin affects you and I have wondered how what you have experienced has been affected by your beliefs, and how your beliefs were affected by what you experienced.”
“I thought it would make me stop believing, but the truth is I still feel the need to belong to my church. I cannot help feeling that all I have seen affirms that there must be a God. If we thought nature, the galaxies we see are a miracle, what am I to say now that I have seen further? How is it that you do not feel there must be a God?”
“I don’t know. I am awed and sometimes wonder if there is a power that was responsible for creating it all. At other times I feel the opposite. Think of the Sparklers. They have existed for a length of time that we cannot even imagine. I suspect that if our scientists were to speak with them it would change a number of the current theories about our universe. If their memories can go back to a period before the time we think the big bang happened, what do we believe in then? Was there a big bang and if there was and they saw it, how do we explain it. I was always uncomfortable with the theory. It seemed to me that we were trying to limit the Universe to what can be understood by our minds. I could and can accept the theory of galaxies being formed by big bangs, but, I prefer to accept that there was no beginning and there is no end to the Universe - or to time, despite what the protector showed us it sensed, even if I cannot understand how that could be possible.
Now I think we are told that there is an end to space, that it also bends in upon itself. Again I feel we are tailoring the Universe to fit within our minds, at least that is how I see it. We are using new and very complex mathematics to prove our theories, but the truth is that mathematics can prove whatever you want, within reason of course. What is so offensive about a Universe we cannot understand Alki?”
“You have given me an opening to ask you a question I’ve wanted to ask for some time. When you are the void, do you perceive any limits, an end or edge to your being?”
“My perceptions are limited by my mind I think. Everything seems to fade away at some distant point and yet, you recall when I had to go out to bring back our Kaleidoscope World, when my point of reference changed, so did the distance of the ‘edge’. Perhaps I should travel to the edge, to where everything begins to fade and see whether it stretches out again to an equally distant new limit.”
1123
“The idea of you doing that frightens me. You could become tempted to go to the edge of your awareness repeatedly and we would then fade away and you might not be able to find us again.”
“I do not think that would happen, I seem to be able to sense where I come from, where my base is. Anyway, it is not likely I will try it within the immediate future. I have too much to do and see right here. Think Alki, if we can live out our span here, rest awhile and mull over what we learnt and then visit a world made by Meli and live another lifetime and repeat it almost endlessly, what would we be like a million years from now? I hope we retain what makes us human.”
“With you in charge!? I do not fear that.” He laughed at me.
“Alki, are you still afraid of us, not of the girls and me, of our powers.”
“What makes you feel that?”
“You are the one person outside our circle who is the closest to us. Even your circle is linked and related to us through our love and your daughters. Yet your mind and heart are still closed. We hardly feel you and never know what you think.”
“It is not out of fear my Roberto. How could I fear you or my Cherine? I do not know why it is so.”
“The girls theorise that you learnt to guard your thoughts as a businessman and you block us subconsciously.”
“How do I get rid of the block then?”
“I am not certain it is the right time for you to do so. It does not hurt us Alki, we just feel we are missing out on something wonderful. We would rather wait for you to be ready. I think it will come by itself then.”
“To change the subject, now that things are back to normal, can Cherine check some friends of mine. There is also a distant relative. He is all I have of family, I know nothing about him, but if he is suitable I would like to bring him and his family in.”
“As soon as you want. With the girls no longer going to school she is free to do so at any time. How come Marian has not made a comment about me taking the girls out of school?”
“That woman!” he said fondly, “She has gone to the other extreme. If you say it is not necessary, then she accepts it.”
“I would prefer you all argue with me. It forces me to think things out more clearly.”
He chuckled. “What is the point Robert? If you have thought it out you win the argument. If you cannot give us valid reasoning then you just say ‘I feel it is right’ and we have to give in. So you win the argument anyway.”
“I am a bit of a shit aren’t I? Regardless Alki, the arguments force me to re-think and sometimes I do see that I am wrong - not often, but every now and then it does happen.”
“Where would Alexander the Great have reached if he had asked that his officers argue with his decisions?”
“I think you gave a bad example. What I have read of him, I have the impression he did not surround himself with ‘yes’ men, he wanted their opinions and expertise. No good leader could do otherwise. That might explain why many great leaders start off as an unstoppable force, but as they begin to believe the propaganda given out about them, only surrounding themselves with those willing to suck up to them, they begin to fail.”
“I see, you are implying that you are a good leader?”
I laughed at his teasing. “The best that you have for now Alki.”
I had a vision of Alki and I on horseback, swords in our hands, facing a multitude of enemies. He would be the best man and friend to have at my side. I sent him my little fanciful vision, expecting him to laugh, but he was touched and put his hands on mine.
1124
Savva is another one who has grown in unexpected ways. In his private life, becoming a Cherinian affected both him and his wife. Able to feel the love in the other, to dance in the void and exchange kiss, it opened them and brought them even closer. Having children has been the most radical change. Through or thanks to their children, they have become more tolerant of the Albanians. As a police officer he still is wary of them and does not make it easier for the criminals. He has been however able to understand the pressures and needs that drive them and is trying to do what he can to improve their lot.
The Albanian community see him as a tough cop who is relentless in his pursuit of criminals, but also have begun to feel they have a friend who cares about those who chose to struggle rather than commit crimes. He tried to find ways to ease their lives and recently some Greeks are joking that he is becoming an Albanian. He does not mind and tells jokes against himself.
Our experiments convinced him love can alter life for the better. My disappearance had interrupted our experiments again, so he decided to look for other ways that are within his jurisdiction.
Any government over the centuries builds up a number of rules and laws that make no sense to the citizens as the times change. He studied the laws still being applied and found which of them are only an archaic annoyance and instructed his men not to enforce those. He spent hours drilling them on how they must be seen by their own community as their friends, there to help citizens when they are in trouble. Perhaps wishing to test him, one officer told him about a Greek family who have lost their business and are in debt, as they have been spending more than they have in an effort to save the life of their child. Savva started a drive to raise funds to save the child, but he also went to the local merchants and asked them to help with food, clothing and other necessities. Greek businessmen are always careful to do favours for those who have power and the family found themselves able to live again while their hopes grew as they saw the money being raised to save their child.
I asked him why he did not send the child to Maria, she could use her healer to save the child. His answer was that he was not looking for miracles, he is looking to bring the community together. With his help, I sent my healer and made sure the child will not be in danger while it waits for him to raise the money.
Savva also began to pester the Mayor for improvements. He wants the pavements improved, trees and flowers planted. He argued that people need to be proud of their suburbs and homes. He pushed them to organise more events that bring the community together for pleasure, while raising funds for the projects he is pushing for. What Savva is doing is not groundbreaking (πρωτοποριακά), many other officials in other countries have done what he is doing - but he studied them and is corresponding with them for tips. In a way, for Greece, this is something new…since he is not looking to gain financially for himself or family.
It is still early days, most of what he is trying to do is not happening yet, but already a difference can be felt. People are already talking about the changes. They are also happy about his very strict enforcement of those laws that could have a detrimental effect on individuals or the community. The criminals are starting to avoid our area as they know he cannot be bribed, has an uncanny ability at finding them and has no mercy on those who are guilty.
His growing gifts have also enabled him to feel when someone is guilty of the crime charged and he is quick to release those he feels are innocent, even if the evidence is against them. He upset his own officers and men a number of times, but as they found over time that he was always right, he has become a sort of hero to them. I think even the hardened cops take pleasure in knowing they are only putting behind bars the truly guilty and they now take pride in what they are doing.
Socrati has also changed. His changes have been more dramatic. From being a simple villager and shepherd, a lonely man with no education, he found himself belonging to what he saw as an exclusive group of people, an equal and friend of multi millionaires, professors and others that he admires. The greatest difference is that he can feel how he is loved by all of them.
He has gained not only a second chance, but also a wife, a woman he dearly loves, and he has gained a daughter, and Britta and Andrea now look upon him as their mentor and father figure. He spends endless hours teaching himself and where she can, his wife helps him. He feels he has to live up to the expectations of his family and struggles to improve himself in all ways. I felt compelled to visit him. I refused to sit in a coffee shop and asked he take me for a walk in the mountains.
“Socrati, why are you turning your back on this?”
“I am not. I do not have as much time anymore to walk the hills, but…”
1125
“Then you are. You may not realise it, but you brought a precious gift to all Cherinians. It was your love for nature. You are the only one we have who helps to remind us and keep our hearts open to this beauty.”
He felt hurt. “You do not want me to study and change?”
“I want it very much. Just try to do it without sacrificing your love. You do realise that your love for the people you care for is enriched by your love for the trees, the birds, the lonely fox who hides behind that bush? Just as Wendy with her singing opens our hearts, not just for her family but all of us, so does your love for all this touch upon our lives.”
“I cannot bear to tear myself away from my family Roberto.”
“Then do not. Bring your daughter with you, walk the mountains with her and teach her to see the beauty. Do the same with the others.” He walked a while without speaking and I waited for him to gather the courage to speak.
“Roberto, I am simple and stupid because I did not go to school. I now have a wife who goes to university, Britta and Andrea are bright and educated. I want my daughter to grow up with a mind filled with knowledge. I do not want them to all look down on me as a stupid villager who walks the mountains.”
“Socrati, you speak from your own fears, not from the way they see you. Have you been honest enough to look within them and see how they perceive you? I too want you to read books and have your mind grow. There are scientists who are brilliant and they spend most of their time in nature because they love it. Often they are the ones who contribute to science, not only those who sit in the laboratory (εργαστήριο). You do not need to study art, for instance, if it is history that interests you. Choose what you want to learn so that you grow in the direction you want to grow, not in the direction you think others want you to.”
We spent the day together talking, stopping at a village kafeneion for mezedes and cold beer. When we returned I sensed a new peace and acceptance of himself. His wife had been monitoring him and she smiled at him. “Why do you listen to Robert, but not believe me when I tell you the same things? He asked you to look into us and see the truth of how we see you, do so my love - you will be surprised.”
“I am an old man, surprises are not good for me.”
His daughter jumped on his lap and pulled at his ears so that he had to look at her. “How dare you call my daddy an old man!” She now is mostly a cute five year old. She no longer needs to be a baby, the security of being loved and part of a family has changed her - though it has not changed the softness, her tenderness for those who suffer.
I have written of a few of our Cherinians for a purpose. I want you of the future to realise that it was not just the gifts that were important in changing us. All my fellow Cherinians were and are growing because of the love that fills their hearts. I am the proudest leader of any people, for my people have all learnt to love.
Theresa: I do not know how to use this properly. I am glad it corrects my mistakes so I am not seen as foolish or ignorant. Robert said we can all right in here.
I am a slow reader so I do not read from beginning, only from the time he found me. I have seen much to make me think. I see he tricked me with his protector - I am not angry. I see he says he is proud of his people because of love. It makes me sad for then he is not proud of me. I still fear love.
I love my daughter now. I forget who her father was, of how I got her, it does not matter any more. She is also part of me and I will not blame her for what he did. It is sad that she will never love me two. There are two many here who give love and I am cold and cannot show my love so she will love only them, not me. Robert, I am still Ulya, I am not yet that Theresa you want me to be. I know now there is no evil in you and that you love me. I do not understand this. Why? I am not a person to love. Please you must not be foolish and waste your love on me. You have so many people who need your love, give it to them.
1126
I found this written (Claudia translated the Russians words she used) by my sweet Ukrainian girl and I cried. If a normal human reads this (courtesy of ‘A’) they will think I am a crybaby (κλαψιάρης). They cannot know as a Cherinian would, that I do not have a choice. Theresa has not really agreed to be my daughter nor my lover and I have no right to look in her mind. Empathy though has its own way of looking into the hearts of others and does not need to ask for permission. I do not understand why I have failed to reach her, to bring her heart back to life. I have never failed so badly before. If she was a cold cruel person I would understand, but I sense the little girl inside her who is crying to be freed and be allowed to love again.
It is nearly the birthday of Meli and I sense, have a foreboding that this will not be the joyous occasion we would want it to be. I have a feeling the Anadir are going to try to show their devotion to her and it will upset me again. I must try to control myself this time. I better keep Diana by my side as a visual reminder.
I decided to visit our guest on the emerald isle. All the girls decided to come so Theresa decided to stay with her daughter. The only way I could force the issue was by taking her daughter with. “Theresa, would you say that you are fair? Do I deserve my chance at making you love me - even if you don’t want to?”
I could feel her cringe, but she was fair, “I suppose so.”
“Then I think you owe it to me to come with us to the void. Dance with us love. It will be lovely for us to see your soul” (oh-oh! wrong thing to say, she thinks it is ugly) “but even more important to us, is that you give us a chance to show you ours. I know Wendy has been dying to show you hers. If for nothing else, come to see your daughter. It will make it possible for you to see what a miracle you created.”
Reluctantly she agreed to come, but wanted a full explanation again of what would happen. I explained as fully as I could, reminding her that the protector will see to it that she does not come to any harm. “You have met our alien visitors, though I suspect you must have wondered - after all, you only meet them in human bodies. I think you will be amazed at their beauty.”
I sent everyone and waited with Theresa and Lucy. I called Theresa and she came. She had good self control, but she could not help showing her amazement. Once she had met us all I quickly returned and brought her daughter. Lucy clung to me until she began to recognise everyone. When she found out which was her mother she slipped away from me and dashed into her.
The protector untangled them and Lucy spun around her in a tight joyous orbit. She had tasted my love exchange and now taught her mother. For a time Theresa accepted, but did not reciprocate (ανταποδώσει). When she gave her first exchange kiss, Lucy showed her delight and would not stop exchanging with her mother. This is the first time her love has been returned and she was excited and elated. Slowly Theresa forgot herself and the two of them danced as one and the love flowed between them.
None of us danced. We all remained still, watching, not wanting to distract either of them. When Lucy wearied, she wanted her mother to cuddle her, but Theresa did not know how and was afraid of absorbing her. I sent to her how she should do it and Lucy was folded into her and we all felt her baby contentment.
Now we too were free to dance. I saw to it that our dance was centred around Theresa, first Wendy and then the other girls brushing against her, exchange kissing. I made certain I never touched her.
I decided to hell with our World, if it wants to hang around it is not going to deprive us of the joy of our coming together. I called to the healer and protector and we became one. The Sparklers responded to my flare and the void came alive. I called to my babies to come form the corners and was glad to see Lucy dart out and join them. They dove into me as my girls all joined me. Grimly I hung on, not allowing us to implode and called to Theresa to join us. She hesitated, half out of fear and then she came in. I let go.
When we talk about passion and sex we use the word explode, ‘lust exploded...’ etc. When I say we imploded (Έκρηξη προς τα μέσα) it too has its ecstasy. Part of the ecstasy is the feeling of becoming one. At no other time, not even in our World, is this feeling ever experienced. The other side of the implosion is when we form the World, but this time we found ourselves part of our World.
*Welcome. It has been a long time and I see we have grown in number. I now understand all the things that happened and puzzled me. I am glad to see that Robert has matured.*
*Piss off you pompous arsehole!! Learn to talk to us as equals or else keep your mouth shut.*
*I do not have a mouth.*
1127
*Ha! Was that humour? I think you were just being literal. I asked the girls to find a name for you, but they did not do so. Since you do not have a mouth I hereby name you Arsehole. I will change your name the day you stop being one. Come on girls, let’s go visit Ma…sorry, her name is Josephine?*
She was laughing as we arrived. “You may call me Mama. Just you wait Robert until all children start to call you Papa!” Her ample bosom shook with her amusement.
Cherine challenged her. “You think what he said to the ‘I’ was funny!?”
“You cannot imagine how often I have wished to speak to it that way. Robert, you are not impressed by it and you are fighting it. Remember, it is a child. It needs guidance, love - even if it is an Arsehole.”
“I wish it could take on a form so that we could face it, talk to it. This disembodied voice shit and the pompous way it has of talking to us gets on my nerves. I stand corrected though and will try to find a way to communicate with it.”
“Ask it to take on a form.”
“I do not think it will want to. It sees itself as being the sum of all of us and bigger and better, if it had a form it would be just one more of us, having to deal with us on a one to one basis.” I ordered it mentally to take on a form and join us on the isle. Nothing! I shrugged, I had not really expected it to.
When Mama is not being mysterious she is an interesting person to talk with. She told us she plans to return to Earth in a few months as she has her own powers that help her to relieve the suffering of children.
I asked, “Would you be willing to become a Cherinian?”
“Not yet. You need to concentrate on becoming stronger so that you cannot be harmed by those who fear you. Oh yes Cherine, you are already feared. You must not think that only you have powers. There are others and they have watched you grow and they plan to stop you. They would lose their powers over normal humans if you are allowed to become stronger. Your strength is your refusal to be tempted Robert. Power and wealth will be offered in ways you do not imagine. Beware of all that seems to come out of your own sweat and work. Accept and you condemn your people.”
“If they cannot tempt me, will they tempt the others?”
“I do not know. But you are right to try and imagine how they think.”
“I think we only have one thing to fear Mama. If they offer my Robert love, that he will not be able to refuse.”
“I think he will be safe if that is so my child. Love is not what they can offer. But there is one amongst you who does not accept love. Come here child.” Theresa went to her, her cheeks a bright green. “You are the one. If you do not learn to see your own heart, you will become the pawn (πιόνι) of those far more evil than the ones you fear. They will use you and the love Robert and the others have for you, and you will be the instrument of their death. Is that the future you wish for yourself and them?”
“No.” It came out as a whisper. She cried out in anguish. “I can’t help it. I want to love them, but something inside holds me back.”
She soothed her. “Tell me, have you ever had a nightmare where you sense something terrible is chasing you and you try to run, but your legs are heavy, it is as if you are trying to run through mud or something that is slowing you down?”
“Yes.”
“Do not run, you are no longer Ulya, you are Theresa. Turn and confront that which threatens you, that you fear, then only will it lose its power over you.”
I touched her hand gently so that she would look at me. “Theresa, you understood that what she refers to, is that fear which stops you from loving?”
“Yes.”
“Will you allow me into your mind so that I can help you?”
1128
“Please, no.” I felt her refusal weakened us, exposed us to the threat that was coming, but I would not try to force her to accept my help.
I turned to our Mamá Jo. “If we die, will that just be on Earth, will we be able to come here?”
“I do not know. My fear tells me that they may have a way to capture your souls.”
“I hope you are wrong.”
“You have just proven me right. You could have forced your way into her mind and released her from the demons of fear, but you do not.”
“I cannot.”
“Even though all your loved ones, their eternal souls are threatened by her?”
“Even.”
She turned to my loves. “You do not resent his putting you all in danger for her sake?”
Cherine replied for them, “No Mama, we do not. We would not want our Robert to be any different from what he is.”
“Remember that, for your trust in him will be his only strength. Robert, for what you have done I make you an offer. I will wait here. At your greatest moment of darkness, at the time of despair, call for me. I will come to give what help I can.”
“I cannot, if we lost, you would be destroyed with us.”
“The price I pay is for me to choose.” I did not reply, but her eyes showed, with their sadness, that she understood. Her lives are dedicated to saving and helping children. How can I accept her offer.
I looked at all the glum faces and saw my Cherine was staring back at me. I gave her a grin. “It seems we are never to have a dull moment my loves.”
Cherine asked the question that was on all their minds. “How would you have us stand by you Robert? As adults or children?”
“For my strength, as children; for yourselves I do not know.”
“Then we will be your strength.”
“Mamá, I think we must return, I need to call a meeting with all Cherinians to warn them.”
Mama Jo gave us her final bit of advice. “I see there is one amongst you who carries a secret wound. Unless that wound is lanced now, it will poison and weaken you all.”
The girls looked at Theresa so I was forced to speak. “You are wrong girls, she is not talking of her, I think she talks of Themi.”
A very silly idea had come to me and I decided to try it out, risk all so to speak on one toss of the dice. I was now eager to get going so we left. We were all so tense that for the first time ever our needs to be anchored were almost non-existent. Nobody was in the mood for making love.
Dommi and Wendy whispered in my mind, soon as we were back home that I must set my protector to watch over Theresa, prevent her from being harmed. I understood they meant self harm and asked, if she cannot love us, why would she harm herself.
*You have not seen that she does love us, but cannot admit it to herself?*
“Cherine, I need to talk to you alone, come into my office please. Dommi, privacy please?”
Soon as I closed the door she asked, “What is it?”
“You said only Natalie could help Themi. She has not done so yet. Do you still feel the same way?”
1129
She was afraid, but remained honest. “She can help him, it does not mean there is no other way.”
“Thank you.”
“What are you planning?”
“You remember the dream, when you sleepwalked yourself to the void?”
“Yes.”
“I want us to create a dream. Themi and Theresa will be in it. They will have betrayed us and will be left alone to discuss or confess what they did and why.”
“Oh my god!! Can you do that?”
“Me? No. I will need teamwork. Do you think that Natalie and Meli would help?”
“Why them?”
“I want her to create a world for them that is like this one. All they will need is a beach or other place where they will be left alone and cannot sense us. We will have implanted the knowledge of what they did to us.”
“What if they only try to kill themselves?”
“They will be told by our enemies that they will not be allowed to - that they will have to spend their lives remembering what they did. Cherine, perhaps they will need to have one more person with them, someone to prompt them in the right direction.”
“Wendy?”
“I thought of that but I think not. Theresa will be suspicious. Perhaps Natalie.”
And so it is that we the Cherinians have decided to take the first action of offence, using the word with both its meanings.
Chapter Ninety Three
The girls were right. Our first warning was when Theresa sat alone with her daughter, crying as she held her. She said goodbye to her and placed her in her cot to sleep. She went to the kitchen and took the same long sharp blade I had used and going into the garden she tried to cut her veins. It slid over her skin without scratching her. She felt the sharpness and tried again. She was braver than I was. She stabbed the point into the base of her throat. Before she had time to realise what had happened she lost consciousness. I gathered her and took her to a bedroom and lay her down. We now had to act quickly.
We called and Natalie and Themi arrived and we told them what we had learnt, well, an edited version of course, about Theresa being the one who would betray us with one other person unnamed. When Themi heard the symptoms of the other person he paled. I used that to make his mind fade until he too lay unconscious.
Now came the delicate job of explaining to Natalie our plan of action. Dommi asked her if she would help us and she agreed. She was uncomfortable about deceiving Themi, but saw it as ultimately also being for his own good.
The question now was where to take them. I jumped without warning, checking out my idea and returned. The girls were horrified at my idea. They did not like my wanting to use the room I had found Lucy being abused in.
“The room has been cleaned, all bodies removed. It will have a strong effect on her. I will set the protector on guard so that anyone even approaching the door leaves. I do not think this will last for too many hours.”
“I find the idea sickening. You could damage her forever Robert.”
1130
I gave in. “Then where, I do not like the idea of the beach. We need to have them in an enclosed area where we can protect them.”
“In our basement. Ulya, I mean Theresa has never been there. Even if they recognise it, it would make sense that they are kept captive there. There also is a bathroom they can use.”
“Cherine, that is brilliant. Natalie, tell them where they are. The door will be locked so you will all seem to be captives. Remember, we are all dead. There will be a strong block so that none of you have any powers or gifts, the same as the aliens did to us in the desert. Natalie, never forget the protector is watching over you. Get them talking. Ask him what was so terrible that they could have used it to destroy us. Tell them the house above is ruined and all Cherinians are dead, but that you do not recall anything else. Keep it simple. Very simple. They will not remember anything, so they will not be surprised that you do not. Tell them that all you remember is that Themi made it part of his bargain with them that he be allowed to keep you. Show grief, but do not overdo it.”
We dirtied their clothing and I used my healer to enter their bodies and drain them of energy and dehydrate them so that they feel very thirsty. I implanted a few vague memories in Theresa to make it all seem plausible. We locked the door and I undid my lock on their minds, allowing them to waken.
While they came to, Natalie was sitting in a corner by herself and she was weeping at the idea of her betraying the man she loves, but it made the setting more believable. Theresa was the first to recover. She was about to look for the knife when she saw the other two and realised she was no longer in the garden.
“Where are we Natalie, what happened?”
“I don’t know. All I remember is that they locked us in the basement.”
“But why are we here, why am I with the two of you! You must remember.” The mind of Themi was clear enough to hear, but taking longer to react.
“I don’t!! All I know is that we lost. They are all dead. My lovely little Samantha!” she wailed.
Themi sat up, still groggy but in a growing panic. “What are you talking about! Who is dead?”
“Everybody! They killed them all. They only left the two of you and me because you pleaded that they let me live. You agreed to forget what they promised you, if they would let me live. Themi mou, why!! How could you do this?”
“That can’t be true, we were talking to them just now!”
“I think they attacked us then, for that is the last I remember until they brought us here. One of them said I was lucky to be alive as you had bargained with them for my life. Why did you do it Themi, what could have been so terrible that you would sacrifice my daughter and all the people we love.”
“I don’t have any idea what you are talking about.”
“Natalie, my baby?”
She could hardly bring herself to say it. “Also.”
A keening began as Theresa rocked to and fro, her arms wrapped around herself. She started to smash her head against the wall, but felt she was not able to hurt herself. Natalie went to her.
“Stop it Ulya. They said they will not allow us to kill ourselves. They think it is funny to force us to live with the memory of betraying the others. What did they promise you?”
“They…they…they promised to help me love Robert and the girls if I helped them. It was such a small thing, nothing bad. They said they just wanted me to break an ampoule under the nose of Cherine so that she would sleep deeply. They said she was tiring herself and needed a good long sleep. Oh god Natalie, what have I done!!! How could I since I knew they were going to attack us?”
“You had not become a Cherinian because you did not love your family, so you could not resist their hypnotic powers. It was easy for them to convince you.”
Αλέξανδρος Ζήνον Ευσταθίου
(Alexander Zenon Eustace)14th June, 2019
- posted on Steemit: 14th June, 2019