“If it is possible, yes.” “They are coming.”...If you dance with us, when you die someday you will be called to join us, preserving your soul and mind - your personality - in a Kaleidoscope World. Would you not prefer to join the circle of your friend Alki - or would you prefer to try and create your own?”
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It was almost comical. Of all the people we have brought to the void, he was the most frightened. It took a while for Alki to convince him he is safe. It was obvious that he had never, in his heart, believed us. I was not insulted, for I could see why. He has lived his whole life alone, never loving, his only relationships a few close friends. He had worked at something he loves, but he spent most of his time disproving it. His heart had dried up. The light of his being is beautiful, as it is for everyone I have seen (yes, even Richard), but the fuzzy corona of love that is projected to varying degrees by everyone, in his case was very faint. Yet he has a loving heart. His life must have had some story of pain for him to have shut himself off this way. The girls and I ached to send him our love, but we had to leave it to Alki and Marian. As they exchanged with him, Wendy gave a cry, something like a crystal bell. It was of a joy brought out in surprise.
*Marian, Alki, your daughter, she also sent him her love. Themi has a part of her also. Themi, please send her yours.*
Wendy had to help him, but when the foetus accepted his love it was a miracle. Themi brightened until he shone like a miniature sun. He had opened his heart to the unborn baby of his best friend and it felt like a miracle to him.
Awed, the three girls and I danced and merged as far as we dared to, with the unborn babies still holding us back. We did not know it would be harmful to them, but I refused to take a chance. I do not want to lose them to the Kaleidoscope World.
Wendy came to me shyly and projected she wanted to unite, meld fully with me. The others approved and I too ached to have her as part of me again. As she slid in to me I realised how small she was, she had only appeared to be full size because of the bright glow of her love. As we got to know each other in all details, except for those we deliberately avoided or hid, I found where I could augment her and gave of myself until a faint star would have shone through me. The protector pulled us apart.
The void was full of cries, of joy and pain. Our little Wendy was fit for a god. She shone and scintillated, webs of gold and pure white criss-crossing her. She was almost a miniature Kaleidoscope World, or a gloriously patterned butterfly wing of energy. I, on the other hand, was an almost transparent gauze, hardly visible within my corona that still shone as brightly as ever, perhaps even brighter. I reassured them I am not damaged, my ability to regenerate will bring me back up to full strength soon. Everyone felt we had done and seen enough, that it is time to return to our bodies.
They all disappeared. My protector would not allow me to return. I waited, alone and lonely as I have not been for a very long time, not knowing what to do. Cherine was the first one back. Her fear and then joy at seeing me filled my heart.
*I should have known you would return. What would I do without you love?* She cried and I waited, transfixed by the sight. I had not known our bodies of light can weep. Some of her ‘tears’ of light fell on me and I absorbed them, encasing them in my love. *I was so frightened daddy. What happened?* *My protector will not allow me to return, it keeps blocking me. I don’t understand why. If I need healing, why is the healer not here?* *It is looking after Wendy. You gave her too much power and she is having problems controlling it. She sings and breaks everyone’s hearts, then she flies at great speed all over the room. Then she sings and her song is all the hurt in the world.*
*I do not belong down there anymore.* Wendy had returned.
My core turned to ice at her words. *Do not say that! I will not lose you, not now!*
*I cannot stay there without you.* My relief almost blazed out in anger. She had frightened me to death. My silly chit of a girl.
They all suddenly re-appeared and stopped short, not prepared for the peals of laughter from Cherine. With them came a white veil, my healer. It ignored them and wrapped me in itself. I sent out a thought, *This is like being bandaged.* Alki laughed. *His sense of humour at least is still intact. Roberto, why didn’t you give that to Wendy also? She has been driving us crazy.*
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The healer was angry with me. That I had never experienced before. It actually cares for me! Cherine and Dommi were hardly coherent in their joy. It took them a while to explain to Wendy why it is so important. When she understood, she asked Dommi, in a plaintive voice. *Does that mean I don’t have to look after him anymore? He won’t die again?* *I don’t know, he is such a mean bastard, he is quite likely to go and die on us anyway, just out of spite.* *Dommi!! I’ve never heard you speak like that about Robbie before!* *Relax sis, she was only trying to make a joke.* *Cherine, you called me sister!! Did you mean it!!* *Only for a little while. I think Robert is going to have to marry you soon so that we can all call you wife.*
Wendy began to cry and my heart was full of tears of love at the beauty of my little wife. *I love you Cherry baby.* *Wendy should now call me her Cherry baby. She has got more of you than you have.*
I do not know what poor Themi did that night. We all had someone to share our need with, except for him. A pity Pavlo is not a girl.
Dommi held Wendy back, allowing Cherine my full attention. Whenever she has thought she might have lost me, her need afterwards is the greatest. It was the first time Wendy saw violence between us. Cherine was a wild cat; she tore at me with her nails, bit me and when we both exploded, her teeth drew blood; she had bitten a vein and it spurted out, drenching her mouth and lips. She was not conscious of my pain as I blocked it. Even when Cherine saw the wounds, all she could think of was to drink the blood, not to let one drop of me go wasted.
We finally all blasted into a joint furnace of painful orgasms. I was fiercely wishing I could have three penises so as to be in all of them at the same time. Before Cherine could recover and become contrite I had fully repaired myself and took my turn with all of them. The most difficult was Wendy. I recognised her deep ache to hold me within her and had to fight myself. Not that I needed to worry. Cherine was watching me like a hawk.
By morning I was tired of calling on the healer and fell asleep in the middle of someone doing something to me. Even in my sleep I was able to feel when my three girls wrapped themselves around me and slept while sharing with me their sweet warmth.
Once we were up and about again, Alki phoned. “If you kids are going to have another night like last night again, at least until I also have a healer, give me warning so that I can take a handful of sleeping tablets. I think there are going to be a lot of babies being born in this neighbourhood within nine months.”
Cherine looked sheepish and I felt her shame at having forgotten to blanket us. I could not care less and promised her if she kept on looking like that I was going to start the whole thing again. She looked at me in disbelief and pulled her panties off in one quick movement.
I asked, “I need something more tender and loving, you all feel up to it?”
It was as tender and loving an afternoon as any night had ever been. It was a time of tasting and loving all of the body. Wendy topped it off for us by crooning, within her mind, such a sound of love and tenderness, of such deep adoration, that we all melted within each others arms, trying to keep every centimetre in touch.
The others forced me to reconsider and Wendy helped me with the third man. It was obvious that he is not friendly, a small-minded man who enjoys tyrannising others, so I used the protector and we went into his mind and stole his memories of those days next to our house.
I have always had a belief in the inherent goodness of man; in other words, given the opportunity and provided with the necessities of life, most people prefer not to hurt others. Perhaps we could say that it is easier being nice. As for me, if I give love I expect it to find some level of reciprocation, which would not happen with these two men, so I was having to revise my attitudes with regard to spreading the gifts of Cherine. There is a difference between not hurting others and loving them. It seems there are some people who cannot open themselves to love. Perhaps with time and help they could find the love that existed within themselves in the distant past. If, after all, Wendy could love me after the experiences with her father, surely anyone can learn to love again?
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I did not have the inclination to tackle that sort of case. Not now. I needed, more urgently, to find a way to spread our love and help create new circles, not spend time saving those who made the decisions to be hard and cruel, destroying other lives for their own pleasure. I told myself and my loves, that those filled with hate will have to wait, or else hope their next lives will offer them the opportunity to make better choices.
It was a pleasure to have Tasso and family visit us or to meet them in the void. The son, Nickolas, is growing in his abilities, thanks to the efforts by Cherine, whenever she can be with to teach him, even though he will never become another Cherine. His mind is filled with doors that open without too much of a struggle and yet none of his gifts are strong.
As the family have felt the closeness and magic of their love, as they danced and shared of themselves, we were given to understand the sexual side of it became less of a problem. I guess it will remain a problem in that Tasso is not able to bring himself to pleasure his sons, but I sense he enjoys feeling, holding and caressing them. His emoting shows that Tasso still lives under the fear that his sons will be turned into homosexuals if he allows them to share their sexual needs with him - though it seems he is not that strict about what they do between themselves, if he is not present.
At a moment his sons were elsewhere with the girls, Tasso confided, “Roberto, you are very lucky. In the beginning I saw it as something abnormal that you could love little children this way. I now understand why you had to, but at least with you, they are all girls.”
“You have opened yourself to one truth, which you had thought you could not, so maybe you will find the truths you need, for your family to be one, held as one by only love. You do realise you do not need to fear that your sons will become homosexuals, to them sex is only an extension of love, whether their partners are male or female. They will feel the need to love all within their circle. Once your circle is complete, they cannot fall in love with anyone outside, apart from any children born within your family. Unless you all fall in love with that person at the same time, as happened with us with Wendy.”
“That I am beginning to understand and fear it. You have reminded me, I wanted to speak to you about Wendy. I know the story and I think you need help.”
“Of what kind?”
Tasso became businesslike. “The job I do, I meet all kinds of people, I have contacts who can help get a new set of papers for her. You cannot keep her for much longer under her present name. You will need a new passport, with entry visa and English birth certificate. Would you like me to help?”
“If you can help we will be in your debt. How can we justify the presence of a child without a mother or father. We cannot say we adopted her. I really do not know what to do.”
He did not seem to be fazed by my worries. “You do not have parents or family? Why not make her your sister, as the only surviving member of her family, you have the right to keep her and immigration will allow her to stay in Greece as long as you do.”
“How thorough would the paperwork be. If it is just a fake passport…”
“No, no, we will have a real passport issued. Original papers will be placed in cabinets to back up her documents. What are you thinking?”
“I have another little girl who would be very happy to have a little sister. I am sure Marian would be willing to be the mother. Could you…” The door burst open and all three ran in, followed by the two puzzled boys. As they threw themselves at me, I saw Cherine was crying. I looked inside her and found such happiness and love that I felt tears in my own heart.
“Thank you Robert.”
“Hold on all of you. I’m glad you like the idea, but we first have to hear from Tasso. It would need not only a passport. Computers would have to show her as entering Greece with you and your mother. That is just an example. There is a ton of paperwork to be done for this to be airtight. Tasso?”
“Let me look into it. It will cost a lot though, as we’ll have to contact people in England and they are expensive. Can you afford it? Those people have to be paid in advance at least half their fee.”
“Whatever Tasso, to the last cent we have.”
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When they left, after we took Wendy for passport photos, Marian invited us over for an early lunch. The girls and I accepted with pleasure, the girls struggling to hide their feelings. Cherine expected her mother to be thrilled and Wendy feared she would not want her. There was little point in delaying, so directly after our meal I asked Marian whether she would mind appearing to be mother of Wendy.
Marian put out her arms and drew Wendy to her. As our little girl stared up at her, Marian asked her, “Would you really want me for your mummy?”
“Marian, you don’t have to adopt her. It is only for the papers...”
“I asked you Wendy. Would you want me for your mummy? And Alki for your father?”
“I would then really be Cherine’s sister? And you would be my real mummy?”
“Yes.”
“I want that, please. But I have a problem.”
“With Alki?”
“No. With Robert. He is the only daddy I want.”
“And me too.” Cherine instantly stood by her.
I knelt by them. “Cherine, you are my love and my wife. My love for you covers all the kinds of love. I love you as a father, even as a mother. That does not change the fact that Marian is your mother. It does not change that Alki loves you as a father - especially now that he is too young to feel like a pappou.” I turned to Wendy and, kneeling as I was, I took her hand in mine.
“Wendy, my dearly beloved, our dearly beloved. Will you do us the honour, will you marry us and be our wife?"
“Robert!” Marian was shocked.
“Marian, we love Wendy. We can no longer live without her. She has stolen our hearts and we all need her. If Cherine could marry us, then Wendy, if she will have us, must become part of our family.” I need not have spoken, for Dommi and Cherine had knelt in front of Wendy, holding her hand too, waiting for her answer.
Wendy’s eyes were huge. “How can I marry you if I am Cherine’s sister?”
Alki, who had entered and waited silently, burst into laughter. “This one I want to hear you answer Roberto.”
“No, I will.” Dommi went to a chair and sat, facing us all.
“This has been a problem which has worried me for a long time, well, since Marian and Alki wanted to get married and we stopped them. I think that even a few months ago I could not have accepted what I now believe is the truth. Alki, I really did not want to believe, but something inside me made me feel it is true.
Robert, you are not just my husband. You are my brother, my father. You are my son. In every way that really matters. We talk about being in a circle and it is true, each a circle within circles. Our love a circle that makes us everything to each other. Soon I will have your daughter. She will be our daughter, to all of us, but she will be our mother and sister. She will also be our wife - wife also to all of us.
Our circle, our relationship can only exist if we are everything to each other. Wendy, you are my sister, daughter and mother. For how long now you have watched over Robert, not as your father or lover, but as a son of yours.
Alki, it still shocks me, it is as if I need to push it all away from me. I find it difficult in so many ways to accept all this. It goes against everything I grew up believing in. But then I see the beauty of this new way, I see our family growing and the love growing and I know then that this is right. Whoever has the gift, is part of a circle of love, cannot put their relationship into categories and say, this one is my husband, this one is my lover. We have to be everything to each other because our love makes it so.”
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Cherine asked, “That means Robert is also my wife?”
“Have you not felt that at times?” Cherine nodded.
Alki surprised us. He walked over to Dommi and knelt in front of her. As he placed his hands on her knees he looked up at her with adoring eyes. “You are the mother of us all, for all circles that will ever be. Your vision Dominique, it is the vision of a mother who shapes her family and guides it so that it grows in a healthy way.” He rested his head on her knees and she put her hand on his head, stroking the hair which is thickly growing again.
Wendy put her lips to my ear, “Does that mean I can marry you?”
“If you want to my love. Would you prefer to wait until you are older?”
“I have felt older Robbie…maybe when I could not hope, it made me be older? It feels like that when I remember, I want to marry you now, Robbie.”
I felt I should just jump in, speak without thinking or else I might fear to open the subject later. “Marian, will you and Alki come to our church and marry each other on the same day? We would love to marry you to each other.”
Emotions were running high so I was not surprised to hear a note of hysteria in her voice. “I get a new daughter and a husband on the same day. You people have no mercy.”
Cherine flashed her idea at me and I told her to speak up. “Mummy, when we go to church for the weddings, can we also do something special there to make Wendy my sister?”
Marian explained to Alki about the papers and our offer to make Wendy their daughter.
“I think I am the happiest man in the world. I get a wife and three daughters. Who would believe it at my age!”
We decided and invited Tasso and his family to the weddings. I looked at my sweet Cherine and sent her a picture of her as she appeared that first day in my garden. *Who would have thought what that day would lead to my love. From the two of us we are now fourteen. You will never have to fear that you will be alone again.*
She shook her head, denying me. “If you ever leave me, I will be alone.”
I could not believe it, she is still fearful, still worried I will die. She shook off the feeling as Wendy came to her to be held. She looked from Wendy to me.
“Why is she always so sweet? Why can’t I be more like her. I do try Robert, but then I find myself saying things that make me sound nasty.”
“Would you say them if you had doubts, if you thought maybe I do not love you?”
“I suppose not. That is horrible Robert.”
“No, it is beautiful. For me. To know that you trust my love enough to play our word games. That is all they usually are. I actually see them as your way of saying ‘I love you so much that I can take a risk and tease you’. Am I wrong, do you do it to hurt me?”
“No.”
“Thank you love.”
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Little Wendy asked, a slight hurt to her, as if she were being excluded. “Why do you only do it to Robbie? You never tease Dommi or me.”
I saw she needed help. Poor Cherine was actually at a loss for words.
“The two of you are not teasers love. I tease you all a bit, but I mostly tease Cherine because I know she will give back as good as I gave. It is just our way of loving each other. For Dommi I show it in other ways. As for you, who knows. We will develop our own way of showing our love to each other, and it will be our own sweet way. Isn’t your singing your way of showing us your love?’
Dommi asked, “Roberto, I may be dumb, but can you tell me what is the special way you have of showing me love?”
“Dommi love, why is it that you stay silent for hours and only open your mouth when you feel you can corner me?”
“Arloumbes! (rubbish).You are just not being honest with Wendy. Or me.”
“Alki, help!”
He spread his hands out. “Not me thank you. I’ve got enough on my plate as it is.”
“Is that so?” Marian said sweetly.
“You see what you do Roberto? Why don’t you go home and do some work, make us some money.”
Cherine piped up, “Pappou, I want to ask you a favour. That money you said is for me. Can you make it to be for Wendy also?”
“I’ve got a better idea. The trust that is in my name, can we put it together with the trust for Cherine and make it for all four of us?”
“No Dommi.”
“Yes Robert!”
“It is not that I do not appreciate it love. If you do it now, your family will think we did all this just to get your money. I do not want one cent of it.”
“Alki, if you do not help, I will get my own lawyer. This is my family and the money belongs to all of us. Actually, it should be a trust for all the family, all six of us - plus those in our future. Please?”
“Dommi, if you must, then make it for you and your two daughters.”
“I don’t have two daughters. I have five daughters.” For a moment I wondered whether she said it because of the circle thing she’d talked about, or as a dig at me.
I threw up my arms, Greek style. “Alki, I give up. I’m going to do some work.”
As I walked out of the room, I sensed Tasso and his family prepare to leave. Wendy looked at the others and back at me. She jumped up and ran to hug me. I picked her up and kissed her softly. “Thank you my love.” She returned to them and I went to earn some money. Vaguely I heard Tasso and family leave and I wondered, if I think of them as being my responsibility, how will I handle all those I hope to bring to the void over the next year or two? Worry was not really conducive to being creative, so I doodled as my mind wandered, circling, avoiding what I did not want to think of.
An hour or so later Dommi came in, alone. “I left the little ones to play at being daughters with Alki and Marian. I wanted a little time alone with you.”
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I could not take my eyes off the screen, but I nodded. She continued, “I can feel it. Something is worrying you. You have a fear in you Robert. You are keeping it buried very deep, but it is making you sick. Soon the others will feel it too. Please tell me what it is.”
I had not acknowledged the fear either. Now my shoulders slumped as I realised how deep and real it is. I had a superstitious dread of speaking of it, as if that would make it come true. I saved the little work I’d managed and switched off the screen and Dommi held me, quietly, without pressuring me. I have no right to keep this to myself, but fear they will all see it. My thoughts went back to the last times I’d seen our Wendy as a soul, to assure myself that I am right.
“Roberto, I asked Cherine to block us off. Only the link is there. I will not speak of it if you need me to keep silent.”
“It is Wendy. I think we are going to lose her.”
Dommi was horrified. She tried to ignore the undercurrents of my mind. “You mean someone will take her from us?”
“No my love. I think she is dying. I think we were too late.”
“How do you mean!! I do not believe it!”
“Every time we dance I give her of myself. Next time we see her she has lost it all. My healer cannot help. Our particles just will not ‘stick’ to her. It seems she is not creating any of her own. Oh Dommi, if her body died, but her spirit lived, we could all go to her, become the Kaleidoscope World. It is not her body that is dying, it is her spirit. How do we live with that?” Now I no longer could control my grief. For once even Dommi was not there for me. She was locked in her own shock and pain - and fury!
“How could you keep this secret!!?”
“Do you want Wendy to know? I’m sorry, it is not the true reason. I was being a coward, I could not even tell myself. I tried to hide it from me, or I tried to hide from it. Dommi, ask your healer, can it find a way?”
Dominique left me. I carried her and put her on our bed. I was very angry with myself. How could I have buried this, refused to look it in the eye and not try to find a way to save her. I had wasted precious time. The protector came to me, using emoting it admitted it saw this as damaging all the girls and forced me to hide the truth. It believed the healer, there is no way to save Wendy. The protector had trembled on the verge of extinction itself, having failed in its duty and only its need to save the others had kept it going. Even through my grief I felt a vicious anger at my protector. By taking a decision on my behalf it had stopped me from trying to save my darling baby. It was almost a relief also in a way, as I felt I no longer had to blame myself - until I recalled that the protector is actually a part of myself.
I wanted to lay my head on Dommi’s breast and cry, but I did not dare begin, for then I might end up admitting defeat. I could not stay here alone, so I lay next to her and flew to the void. I was met by a sight that nearly sent me back to my body. For as far as I could see the veils of Dommi had stretched, thinned to less than a fundamental particle depth. I feared to disrupt those veils with the weight of my light.
*Dominique. The baby, where is it? What are you doing?* She did not answer me, but our tiny daughter did. She tried to soothe me. I was terrified of handling this the wrong way and called Cherine. She came and froze as I had. Before I could explain, they were all with us.
*I don’t know what she is doing. Our daughter tells me we must not worry. Cherine, what can we do?*
Wendy, my poor sweet thinned little soul, not knowing what was happening, saw my helplessness and panicked. She threw herself into me. Before I had time to react we had melded. She had come into me to save me, to stop me from dissolving. I repaid her by showing her my own fears of her extinction. It was not voluntary, she had caught me by surprise. She collapsed, releasing the heart of the core of her soul to disperse throughout me. I screamed for Cherine, for the healer, the protector, Dommi, anyone who could help.
They all came, except for Dommi, and what I had feared happened. We became the Kaleidoscope World.
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I looked out and saw the veils and knew what Dommi is doing. She is convinced Wendy’s father is out there, that he is draining her to keep himself alive. She is looking for him, to offer herself in place of Wendy. I called to her. She rippled, the veil slowly undulating, but did not respond.
I sent out a mist of energy to gather her, but she evaded it.
*Send me Cherine, I need to talk to her.* *I am here, you can talk.* *Send Cherine.*
I felt the guests arrive in the void. I welcomed them and shared a brief moment of myself, showing them their own potential World and then sent them out to live their lives, create their own circle. I diminished myself and sent out Cherine.
I was Robert again. The healer/protector rushed to collect what there is of Wendy. They could not find the core, the part that is the “I”. She was gone. I refused to accept that. She was somewhere within me, she had to be.
*Dommi, Cherine, can either of you do what Wendy did. Remember how she saw and lit up for us our babies. Can you do that? Can you help find Wendy?* *No.* *No* *Cherine, what about your link to her. Trace her from that.* *There is no link Robert, she broke it.*
*Dommi damn it, only your mothering instinct can help. Forget about that bastard, if he exists. You must come back to save Wendy now.*
A small world, a tiny form of light swooped down on us, without communicating, going into Cherine. Two of them left and came to me. My non-existent heart stopped as they swooped into me. My babies! I would swallow them and I could do nothing to stop them. This was compounding our problem and my soul trembled with fear. Why wasn’t the protector…oh god, it was also within me, busy trying to find Wendy.
The two flew out of me and danced to each other, their speed increasing until they were a circular blur. For a second I was so relieved/happy they still exist that it took me a moment to understand what I was sensing. In the center a shape took form. The healer/protector brought the treasure of her motes and sent them in to the shape. I told them to send in all they could of me. My offer was immediately echoed by all the others.
*No. Do not send of yourselves. Let her be.* Dommi shivered and swayed in front of us. *We cannot save Wendy. She is not able to ‘hold’ our essence. It is as if she has an antibody that rejects us. We have two options. We find the antibody and neutralise it - yes Roberto, I think you are right, it must be her father, what is left of him - or else we split her, just the core, and let our babies absorb her so that she still remains a part of us.*
*How did they do that. Find her I mean* *They are both linked to her. Roberto, my darling, there is nothing you can fight, if he is a part of her, you would have to destroy her to get rid of him. Live for the rest of us please.*
*Neither. I will not die, but I will not give up. She is mine now, not his. I’m sorry, she is ours. Would you die for Cherine or me, but not for Wendy?* *I will stay with you.* *No Cherine, you must all go back once the babies return. Watch her body, keep her alive.* *Dommi and mummy can do that. I am staying.*
*Cherine you promised to obey. You will go!* *No Robert. I cannot. How would you bring her back? I have to be here to link to her. She is the only one who knows how to move the soul without a link. I am staying and you can punish me later.* *Punish you? For being right? I’m sorry my love, I cannot think straight, my heart is breaking.* Gently she replied, *I know, so is mine.*
We waited, dancing around our babies and Wendy, sometimes brushing against each other, giving our love as a sharing to ease our pain and fear. When we began to sense Wendy, our dancing stopped and we waited, pulsing with our anxiety.
*Why don’t you want me anymore Robbie?* *Want you? I want you with all my heart baby. But I want you alive, not just a tiny part of me. I want you to grow with us, I want you to have my baby, even babies. I thought you wanted that too?*
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*You know I’m going to die, I saw it in you. Why are you lying to me?* *If you die so will I, so will Cherine and Dommi - and you can see that is the truth. How about we all fight to live? For our sake, for the babies. You know our daughters are linked to you, they left their mothers and found you, putting you back together again. We could not find you, we thought we had lost you. Will you be brave for us all?*
*The babies?* We all felt her joyous wonder.
I told my healer/protector that their prime concern now is Wendy. It must find how her father is draining her and stop him. I ordered it to call me to destroy him if they find him, that the protector must not take action on its own, but if it can imprison him without harming Wendy, it may do so until I am in place to deal with him. I asked Cherine and Dommi and they reinforced my commands. Cherine had already linked and as the babies returned to their mothers, we returned to our bodies.
Wendy told us, “Rose and Meli left their taste in me.”
“Is it a sweetness for you?”
“Too sweet. It hurts.”
Dommi told her, “We are sorry you saw that in Robert. Love, we only wanted to keep it a secret so that you do not give up.”
“Will you tell me the truth now?”
I said, “I thought you already know everything.”
“No. You are still keeping a secret from me. I promise I won’t try to see it in you, I want you to tell me please.”
I felt it was my job to explain. “When I killed your father, we think a tiny part of him came into you. I do not know if it was already there or came in after. He is making you send off all the particles, those little motes of light we send you, and it is weakening you. One thing I do promise you, I will find him and get rid of him. You are ours now, he can’t have you.”
Her face was stricken, bloodless with fear. She crawled onto my lap and the girls put their arms around her.
“Wendy baby, do not be afraid. It is not your father. Not the person you knew. It is only a tiny piece of the blackness that lived in him. We will get rid of it.”
“How?”
“That is what we are trying to work out. I promise you, whatever it costs, I will get him out.”
“No!”
“No?”
“I do not want you to. Leave him there.”
“Have you gone crazy!? Never! Let him kill you! I would rather…” Our eyes met. “Is that it? You are afraid it will kill me?”
It was hardly a whisper. “Yes.”
Cherine kissed her softly and took her face in her hands. “Wendy, nothing can kill Robert, only we can. If you are afraid and you stop him from saving you, he will die. If he dies, we all die.”
“We have a day or two love. Take your time. Just remember this; we are not willing to lose you.”
There was no way I could concentrate on doing any work, not that Alki would expect me to, so I took them out. We went to see a movie and then I took them to sit at Kefalari Square. It was nice to be amongst crowds for a change, though we had to block out all of the negative emoting. Still, there is something nice about being among people who are socialising, having a good time. We were all able to relax.
320
Since we were close by, Dommi went to visit her parents and returned an hour later with Nicko. He was full of energy and could not sit for long, so he took Cherine and Wendy for a walk and returned with the girls carrying magazines and packets full of sweets. It was interesting for me to see that Cherine had returned with a heap of comics, whereas Wendy had a couple of magazines about singers and bands. In Greek I thanked him for reminding me that they are still children. They have been living their lives with me as mini adults. I had to control my pleasure in seeing them gorge themselves on chocolates, messing their faces and hands, while avidly reading, so as not to make Cherine aware of my feelings and make her become self-conscious.
It was still early enough when we returned for me to make a call. Alki was glad to hear from us. They had been worrying about us, for they had felt our negative feelings and when our phone was not answered they had been panicking. I agreed to meet them at the local coffee shop.
“I don’t know how closely that fits what the two of you saw. That however is where we stand. There is no talent we have that can help us now. I have no idea of how to go about finding him. If the protector cannot, what can I do?”
“Roberto, this will sound silly to you, I know. Why not call in Themi? Perhaps he can help - remember he is an internationally known psychologist.”
“Anything. I do not see how he can, but I am desperate.”
“You are not the only one who is desperate. How do you think Marian feels hearing you tell us that her daughters could die within a day or two. How do you think I feel, to know my family could all die. For some reason you are able to be calm, but I can tell you, the two of us are terrified.”
Marian put her hand on mine in supplication. “Robert, could you not try to force yourself to stay alive - for the sake of Cherine and Dominique and the babies. How can you let them die?”
“It is not just me. Remember I told you when your first husband died how Cherine followed him into the void, trying to bring him back? Think of Alki, think of what part of your heart he is now. If he died, could you stop yourself from following him? Could even your daughters hold you back? You do know that your unborn daughter would follow him too? If the girls could have fought to keep me here, to bring me back, a small maybe, but with them rushing off also…as Wendy dissipates, fades into nothing, I feel we will try to follow her and that means we will do exactly the same. Marian, there is a way…we could save ourselves, so that even you never lose us. Our souls, that is. If we all agreed to join in the Kaleidoscope World now, nothing could take Wendy from us. That would not be right though.
For me, I would not mind, I would no longer be living in constant fear of failing my loves, costing them their lives. But the girls, all five of them, they must have their chance to live their lives in their bodies, in this world, to the full, to mature and achieve their potentials. There is still so much for them to discover in themselves. I have to take the risk. Would you ask me to do otherwise?”
“No, I could not. I keep forgetting how much you love them Robert. Can we sleep over until this problem is solved?”
“It will make the girls happy. Me too.”
Briefly, the next morning, Alki explained that Wendy is dying and this could cause us all to go with her. Before he had finished he was crying. Themi abandoned his students and rushed over.
He asked us to explain everything in as much detail as possible. With constant interjections by all, I tried to do so. He asked very detailed questions. For instance, he wanted to know from Wendy, when she dissipated within me, was she still aware. Was she conscious of the babies still being linked to her. He asked many questions and as he was exuding the air of a professional I did not think of reasons for the questions, I just gave him my trust and the girls feeling it, answered as fully as they could. Strangely enough, he glossed over the awesome expansion of Dommi.
Αλέξανδρος Ζήνον Ευσταθίου
(Alexander Zenon Eustace)26th March, 2019
- posted on Steemit: 26th March, 2019
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