....She may be my wife, but it does not give me the right to make decisions for her. Alki how is your relationship with her parents - could you try to soften them for her, before she visits them?”
191
I felt him and almost wished I had not asked him. “We go too far back, we owe each other too many favours for him to turn me away. I do not know whether he will be willing to listen to me though.” He nodded. “You are right, I must try.”
“Something else. I only have one more day to make my preparations, according to Greek traditions. Tomorrow is Thursday and Dominique has to get the children around, for preparing the bed. Can you take Cherine for the afternoon? Oh, hold it a second.”
I barely managed to finish my sentence, for I was being attacked by a furious little girl. Briefly, this is how it went - partly in mind-speech and partly aloud. She would not leave my side and she did not care what I said. Yes, she did promise to obey me, but she did not care, she would not allow me to be on my own, and that was it. What splendid anger, I felt a secret (I hope) admiration for her and her refusal to listen to me. Unfortunately I also was not going to give in. I could not go after Nicko with her at my side. I did not want her to see what I may be forced to do. We were at an impasse.
I explained to Alki. He laughed until he was holding his sides. I was not amused, I had a feeling he was going to worsen the situation for me.
“Ah Roberto, what did you tell me about your cub? You better give in now, you will anyway, so why cause yourself a lot of worry for nothing. Let me ask you also to remember something Dominique has asked you. Did she not ask ‘when will you learn to trust Cherine’?”
“You traitor. She heard you and now you have made it impossible for me to refuse her!” That set him off again. I shook my head, amazed. “You really are a secret admirer of hers, aren’t you? I just hope that old head of yours really is wiser then mine!”
“Talking of heads, do you notice anything different?”
I felt like being nasty, which shows, I guess, how much I have grown to trust his love. “No, just getting uglier and more wrinkled by the day.”
“Look,” he ran his hand over his baldness, “do you not see a fuzz growing there? Did you do something to make my hair grow again?”
“Oh come on Alki! Even if I had, it would not be growing so fast.”
As we re-ordered coffees, I asked him for one of his cigarettes. He refused. I laughed at him.
“You afraid I might start smoking? Do you think it could kill me?” Now I was really amused at his clinging to his normal conservative attitudes.
“I would not stop you for that reason, even if you were a normal man. Have you thought how unpleasant it would be for your, er, your wives? Especially for Cherine. She is still a child, with the keen senses of a child. You will stink. Now you still want one?” He held out the packet to me. I shook my head. No, I could not do this to either of them. I felt a kiss on either cheek. I must have started in surprise. Alki wanted to know what is wrong now!
“They each sent me a kiss, for not smoking. Alki, I felt it. They managed to send a tactile touch. This is another first!” I sat thoughtfully. I asked them who now has this ability. Sheepishly Cherine admitted it is her. She felt my pride in her and was gleeful as only a child can get. I sent her a ‘mental’ hug, since I could not send a ‘real’ one.
“Where is this going to end Alki. And why have we been growing in our talents so quickly? It does not ‘feel’ right to me.”
Thoughtfully he answered. “I do not think you need to look for unnatural explanations. Well, unnatural in the sense of this being a kind of omen. Maybe it is like a dam wall. As the water breaks through a crack, it washes away the dam very fast. Perhaps the first gift opened the first crack and now your brains are expanding in a torrent. There is one thing wrong with that explanation. You and Dominique only started recently, so it would have been a good explanation for the two of you. But why Cherine. She was born with her gifts. Why is she growing so fast?”
192
“That is not a problem, nor does it damn your theory,” he smiled at my pun, “she has spent her life afraid to use it, she has been damming it, holding it back. Only since she met me has she been free to use it and take joy from her abilities.”
Alki nodded. “I am going to try and see Elia now. Why don’t I pick you all up for supper later? It is about time I took you to the ‘Efzona’, one of my favourite tavernas in Glyfada; they make the best ‘gigantes’ and their chips are delicious. We can talk then and I will tell you what happened.”
“You can come to the house if you want to talk. By tonight the house next door will be empty.”
“Why? What are you planning to do?”
“As long as I thought they were government agents I could not do anything. Now I am going to get rid of them. Then I will take their equipment and trash all of it, I just hope they still have all the tapes at the house.”
Almost sternly he insisted, “Yes, but I asked, what will you do?”
“I am going to join up with the two beauties who call themselves my wives and we are going to project the strongest terror we can. They will have nightmares about it for years.” I spoke in an icy calm voice that must have betrayed my true anger.
“Roberto mou, please do not act out of anger. You must be careful.”
“Always. You are right, I am angry, I am furious. This invasion of our privacy, the fear we went through when we thought they were from the government. They have scarred my loves and I will not let that go unpunished! Ha! The girls are cheering, you see, they are quite a bloodthirsty bunch of savages. I’m just glad they have no reason to turn against the two of us.”
“Oh, I had a taste of what it could be like when I refused to marry you. Why do you think I capitulated so fast.” He saw my expression. “Oh for god’s sake Roberto! I was just joking.”
“Alki, I must leave now to take care of matters while you visit Elia. Before you go, I want to thank you. Your advice with regard to my little problem with Cherine,” I laughed as I realised I had inadvertently made another pun, “that must have been extremely hard for you. I know that I still cringe at the thought. I am amazed that I am so much a product of the society I grew up in, a slave to those mores of theirs which I do not believe in. Even the love, the adoration I show her little child’s body still feels, when I am detached, obscene. I am slowly coming to terms with it, even coming to appreciate and treasure it. But to tear open her tiny body, to mutilate her! I have seen photos of little girls…I accept I no longer have a choice and will use my healing abilities to repair her, but it still sickens my heart. I love her Alki, that is the strongest part of my need for her, not the sex…I feel like crying all the time, deep inside myself. How will I ever heal myself Alki?” Heads turned as my anguish was felt by all the other patrons
Poor old Alki. His eyes filled with tears. He held my hand silently for a time. “I do not know if you can do it, but would it be possible for you to make, er, ah, yourself smaller? Minimise the damage?”
“I thought of that. I think I could. Do you want to know what happened when I dared to even think it? You want me to send you what she projected to me?”
“No thank you. I suppose to her it would feel as if she had not really become your woman.”
“She is demanding I do not allow the healer to take the pain or repair her that night. She says it is her right to feel and glory in the pain of becoming a woman. She does not know what she is speaking of. A grown up girl becoming a woman may suffer pain, but not the kind of damage and pain she will feel. She will not be able to hide it from me, I feel everything she feels, how will I live with it afterwards? How can her need be so strong that I have to do this to her? Alki, I almost wish I could die before doing this!”
“Do you know from life what the damage will be? Is it maybe just your imagination which has made this such a terrible thing? Girls younger than her have been raped and survived, at least with you it will be an act of love. Forget those photos you’ve seen, those girls were not treated with love, they were just abused. Do you really believe any man who truly loves a little girl would be taking photos and selling or giving them out? Anyway, nature is a marvellous thing, the woman, her vagina can stretch incredibly. Maybe you should trust her instincts.”
193
“Alki, I looked it up on the internet, I saw from some medical files that the damage can be severe. Why does Dommi not side with me on this, why does she not fear it the way I do? She loves Cherine so much it sometimes hurts to just feel the love in her.”
He did not answer me. I guess he could not. The girls had withdrawn, knowing I needed to speak out. Perhaps it was Dommi who made them withdraw. I suddenly realised my face was dripping. I tried to shut off my pain and harden myself for the job ahead.
When I got home the girls were ready. Without a word I sat opposite them. I told them, directly in their minds what I planned. I asked them whether they can mute my feelings within them so that it does not affect them. I saw them blanch and Cherine resembled one of those anime drawings of little girls, because of her eyes seeming to be so large and expressive.
I still had in me the fear, the terror of the void from my first visit there. I still had all the fears and pain of the times I had withdrawn and dissolved in a death wish over the last year. That was what I was going to use. Cherine was the first to refuse. She demanded to feel it and use it to ignite her own fears when she had thought she was losing me. Then Dommi felt she also had to refuse. I spoke to Dommi. *No, you must not be a part of this. We may need you to bring us back.*
Once I was certain Cherine understood she must focus the projection tightly, without leaking out to the families around us, or touching Dommi, I sat back and closed my eyes. I gathered myself and dived in to the day on the yacht, to Ydra, to the accident and piled one misery, one fear and terror upon the other. As they flooded Cherine and her own fears came to add to this darkness of sheer terror and pain my protector/healer side of me tried to rush to her defence. I was barely able to control it.
In a sudden burst Cherine sent it like a black wave to the house next door. Before she could stop it, their terror got added and was returned to us. I let the protector go as I was hit by it. It was unbearable, beyond sanity. I fled, a gibbering dissolving ball of terror. No longer human.
Later, I learnt that Dommi stayed long enough to see that Cherine has been shielded from experiencing most of it by my protector and is being healed, and she then fled into the void after me. She tried desperately to find me, but could not sense my signature, could not sense anything human resembling me out there, just other souls distant from her. In her terror she called to Cherine and for the healer. Cherine came and instantly knew what had happened to me from Dommi. She dragged the healer/protector to her by her fear and pain. She would not allow ‘them’ to help her or Dommi; she forced them to understand that she has decided to die, then and there, if they do not find me and return me whole.
They had no problem in finding me since they are a part of me, or of what was left of me. The protector tried to comfort me with a sense of safety from my terrors and the healer tried to draw the pain. They could not. All they could do was enfold me and return me to the two who were already speeding to me. With a sharp command Dommi entered me. Cherine was kept out. What a blaze of motherly love, what a love of a woman for her soul-mate. How she absorbed the darkness and turned it to the glow of love, warmth, a gentle cuddle of a mother rocking her baby. Cherine told me has awed her
Once she had calmed me to a sobbing terrified child clinging to her, she allowed Cherine in. Sweet little Cherine who found her man gone, just a helpless child now. She poured her love into me and then when she had given all her love, she called up and brought to me all she had of myself in her. All our melding, our dances in the void when we exchanged traces of ourselves. All she had of me was poured back into me until I was able to find the rest of myself.
Now the healer was able to work. Gently we drifted in a slow dance of our oneness as they built me up with their total loving. I wanted the moment to never end.
When we/I opened our eyes, I hardly had the strength to raise myself out of my seat. I demanded the healer give me the strength, this could not wait. I ordered them to stay and this time they had no wish to disobey me. I walked over to the house next door. The door was closed and I had to climb in through a window.
194
I was struck by the stench of human urine and faeces. The three bodies on the floor were totally immobile. As I stood over them I was sickened by my viciousness. They, no one, deserves this!
With a kitchen towel covering my hand, I picked up the phone and pressed the re-dial button. Nicko answered.
“Send an ambulance to pick up your men. Afterwards you come next door to my house. You say one word wrong I will kill you before you finish the sentence.” I hung up. I searched for tapes. They were dated and all recent. The damning ones were gone! I smashed everything and taking the tapes still there I left. I returned home to chastened and sickened girls. They had seen and felt it all.
“Robert I made a mistake.” Cherine was in despair. Her face sickly white and her eyes red from weeping.
“No my love it was my...” I now became aware of their pain and it was not for those next door. It was Alki.
“When I sent that horrible thing I forgot Alki and my mother are also linked to me.” She wailed and came into my arms. This was a horror I could not even start to think of, all that mattered right now was to take the pain, to see to my two loves.
“Dommi love, call your parents. See if Alki was with them.”
We heard her and knew even as her terrified eyes turned to us. “He was with them. They told me he screamed and collapsed. They say he had a heart attack. He is on his way to the hospital in an ambulance.”
Immediately I sent the healer, following the link from Cherine. It found him in the ambulance. As the healer mended him I told the girls he had not had a heart attack. He is catatonic. This means he is locked up in his brain, still living the experience. We had to take ourselves to him and heal him with our love. For a moment Cherine thought of her mother, then realised we can only heal one at a time. We sped to him.
As we succeeded in drawing him out of the world of darkness and terror he’d sunk into, he clung to Dommi. Slowly we re-built him. When he was once more the Alki we know and love, we left him in a deep sleep and sped to Marian.
She too was re-built. She was partly re-built from us and by us and none of us had the hardness to replace that which she had lost. All we could replace was love. She recognised Dominique first when she realised she was not being held by her mother. As she strengthened, she was awed by our little mother. She felt the love from Cherine and her heart wept at the beauty of it. She felt me as the protector/healer and it took her longer to feel the love in me. When we left her, she was weeping in her sleep.
Back at home we heard the ambulance siren going as it was leaving. I stood up on shaky legs and opened the front door. As we waited I hardened and strengthened myself and indirectly the girls. With set faces, cold and unforgiving, we waited.
He walked in, still effecting a swagger. I was convinced I would have to break him. The swagger though was sheer bravado. When he saw our implacable eyes, he broke. I was surprised to realise it was the eyes of Cherine that affected him the deepest.
“What are you going to do to me?” We kept silent. “Dominaki mou, I did it for you, to get you away from him. You won’t let them do to me what they did to the men….”
I’ve never heard her voice so cold and hard. “I will not only let them, I will help them. Because of you, we also hurt people we love. You are no longer my brother, you are our enemy.”
We could all feel his terror and I sensed Cherine taking it and returning it multiplied. I don’t know whether he sensed it, but he turned towards her in supplication. While he was distracted I told Dommi to go into the deepest part of him, find the shape, the nightmare creature that would terrify him. I took it and used it to project it from myself as I stood up and walked towards him. He saw me and screamed in terror. As he collapsed I spoke to him, in whatever nightmare voice he heard.
195
“Now is the time you choose. I will come to live in you if you choose to be our enemy. Are you our enemy!” I shouted.
“No. No.”
“Will you try to harm us again. Must we destroy you.”
“No, please.”
“You will live, but you will know we can see inside your head, even your most secret thoughts. At the first thought of danger to us we will send you to the hell those men of yours are in now. You will become like them.”
When I was satisfied he would no longer be a threat I demanded the tapes. I told my loves I would go with him to collect them. As Cherine saw I was to let him go, she blazed in a fury. How could I let him go without punishing him. Mentally she was all teeth and claws, vicious in her memory of Alki and her mother. She could not accept that they had suffered more deeply than he is going to. Dommi agreed with her. She no longer wanted to destroy her brother, but she was still an inferno of anger.
I stood as his shield. I sent the protector to envelope him and warned them not to try and defy me. I warned them that anything they sent to hurt him would be deflected, directed at me. They could only hurt me now. For a moment I thought they were going to. When I left with Nicko, I felt Cherine fiercely follow us. She watched him from within me, an animal with the bloodlust. I collected from his apartment whatever evidence he had gathered and told her. *Okay, one shot of fear, of terror, just enough to knock him unconscious, no more you hear?*
With him lying on the floor, his pants wet, I/we left. Her claws bloodied, though not to her satisfaction, she was now calmer and returned with me. As we travelled home I sent out the healer to Alki and Marian. They were both awake, though neither had recovered, from either the attack or the therapy of love. Seeing them well, both girls were slightly mollified.
First thing I did was to get Cherine to destroy every single bug. We then collected them and threw them in the rubbish bin.
I was so sick of the fear, anger and hate we had experienced, that my voice almost choked as I told them, “Throw your anger, your hatred into the rubbish with these. They do not belong to our circle of love. They served whatever was their purpose and no longer are welcome in this home of ours.”
As was usual after any strong exercise of our powers we were aching with the physical need for each other. We controlled it, had showers, dressed and took a taxi to visit Alki.
Once we were allowed to see him, we first wanted to know how he is. When we saw his spirit is still strong, not damaged by us, we relaxed. I pulled my chair to his bedside. “I suppose you have noticed we have stopped hurting ourselves. We now are at the stage of hurting our most beloved friends.” As he opened his mouth to answer I cut him off. “You warned me and I did not listen. I am only sorry it was you and Marian who had to pay the price.”
I explained what had happened. When he understood it is all over, he was relieved.
“You warned me not to act in anger. I did not listen and damaged my friends and three men who were only doing a job. The main culprit was punished to a lesser extent than even my loves were. This was a lesson to me. Never again! Our power is not there for us to use in anger, I’ve always known it, but I allowed my anger to sway my judgement. It would have been far better if we had used love.”
“Love!!” Alki spoke it and was echoed by the girls, in amazement.
“Yes. The same strength of love would have had a far better result.”
“Maybe love would not have killed you again, but I would not have felt satisfaction from that.”
“He died Cherine?”
196
“Yes. He keeps on dying on us. Dommi had to save him. His fantastic healing power could not bring him back.”
“That is my point Cherine. No other power could save me, only love. I tell you, love is the most cogent defence and weapon we have. Instead of having three catatonic men, who I will have to spend my time on, to cure, we could have had another three persons who love us. Instead of Dommi having a brother who hates but fears us, she could have had a brother who loves her. I too have lost something precious, for I love him more than a friend, to me he is my brother. We are the ones who lost out, Alki. To have one person in the whole world hate us and have the rest of the world love us, that one person would cause us pain, preventing us from enjoying the love the rest of the world feels for us.”
I know what I sound like when I speak this way, but what is important is that I am truly growing to believe in what I am preaching. Surely this way of looking at life is the only way we can grow to become a part of life…wherever it is, on this world or any other. In the meantime, until others learn the same lessons, I will have to put up with everyone thinking I am soft in the head. Better that, than hard in the heart.
We had to take our leave so as to be early enough to visit Marian. Although it could cause us complications, I was pleased to feel the re-awoken love Cherine felt for her. I do not want my little girl to be an orphan emotionally. To grow up a normal, emotionally balanced person she needs to love and be loved by her mother. Even our special Dommi cannot fill all that emptiness.
Marian actually looked liked she was glowing with health. Her doctor was puzzled and had decided she must have suffered a petite mal and had told her to stay the night for observation. As we talked, it became obvious that she did not recall the attack, all she remembered was the love and awe she had felt when we repaired / healed her. Her heart seemed to overflow with love for Dommi and her daughter, with me at least no longer the monster she had pictured me as. Sticking to my policy of honesty (the girls still claim I am too rigid in its implementation) I told her what had happened, without mentioning Nicko. When I explained how she got attacked and why, instead of getting angry she asked Cherine, tenderly, whether it is true, had she really kept a link to her. On getting the confirmation she wanted, she dissolved into tears.
“You still love your mummy then? You do not hate me?” Cherine flung herself into her mothers’ arms. They both had a good cry while Dommi and I turned aside, to give them their moment - and to hide the tears in our own eyes. Dommi felt me and could not resist teasing me, calling me a sentimental softy. She said I am the ‘marshmallow man’. Playfully I stimulated her taste buds and filled her mouth with the taste of marshmallow. She pulled a face; it turned out she hates marshmallow. The urgency of our physical need to be touched and touch, to explode in release was still mounting in us, so I naughtily changed the taste to her memory of the honey she had licked off me. Cherine picked it up and giggled and squirmed her little body against her mother without realising what she is doing. Marian quickly picked up what is going on.
“I’m sorry, here I am keeping the three of you. You better go home now. I will call you tomorrow if I may.” Her eyes were on me, so I leaned over to kiss her cheek goodbye. She pulled my head down and whispered in my ear, “Promise me you will always look after my baby, that you will never hurt her. Promise me.”
“With all my heart. I would rather die first.” As I spoke the words I felt Cherine and her thoughts. I had spoken from the heart, forgetting that I would soon be breaking my promise. Still tightly strung from all that had happened, plus from the holding in of our needs, this pushed me over the edge and tears flowing I walked away from Marian and out of the room. Through both girls I heard the rest while I stood at a window crying.
“Cher, Dominique, something is wrong. Why is he crying? Something bad is about to happen, isn’t it? Tell me, please, you must.”
“No mummy. Not something bad. Something good, but he is afraid it will hurt me.” Defiantly she finished, “But it won’t!”
Marian took her hand and stared at her daughter. “You are forcing him?”
Shy now, a little ashamed, she avoided looking back, her hair hiding her face as she looked down. “Yes.”
197
“Look at me Cher baby. If he is not going to hurt you, are you sure you are not going to hurt him? Is it worth hurting him for?” She twisted her mouth wryly. “You do notice I am not asking how he will hurt you. I cannot interfere and I will never press you or try to force you to confide in me. I know now you are something special, all three of you. Baby, even if I cannot judge or decide for you, you are still my little girl. I cannot help fearing you are making a mistake. Not if it is hurting him so much. I do not think, if he had a choice, he would have ever wanted me to see him weeping. I think I would be the last person on earth he would want to show that side of himself to. Please be sure it is worth the pain you will cause him.”
“I have to mummy! I’m going to stay like this, nine years old for another ten years maybe! I cannot wait!!”
I quickly dried my eyes and returned to find them all staring at each other in shock. Cherine was pleading with me to forgive her, she had just blurted it out. I sat on the bed. “Marian, I’m sorry. She should not have told you that, not right now. Can I explain?” After I had explained I knew that she had understood and believed from the tears flowing down her face.
“I will never see my little girl grow up? I will be old and die before she becomes an adult?”
“We don’t know for sure. It is just a feeling we have. If it turns out to be so, I understand your pain. Try however to also focus on the happiness it should bring you. As a mother, does it not make you happy to know your little Cher will live for so long?” I tried to reach out, use the healer to take away her pain. I ‘felt’ Dommi put her hand on my arm to stop me. *No, it is not good to stop people from grieving. Let her. When she has grieved, then she can be happy for her daughter.* Chastened I sent her a kiss and turned to Cherine who was emoting love. It was not a deliberate ploy. Her face was suffused with love for her mother. *Dommi, our little girl is healed I think. Today is also turning into a day of many miracles.*
Cherine heard me and flooded me with a blast of love; Dommi echoed it. I was overwhelmed. The day of contrasts had been too much. My body began to shake.
“Oh god, I’m going to throw up.” I dashed to the bathroom, just making it. Dommi was immediately with me, holding my shaking body, her hand on my brow. Cherine ran in behind her, fear and concern on her face.
“He’ll be alright Cher. It has just been too much for him. Too much for all of us I think.”
“I think you better take him home. Take one of the tranquillisers they’ve given me and put him to bed. To sleep I mean.”
I was horribly embarrassed, but touched by everyone’s concern. I was also angry that although I was still shaking uncontrollably, the healer in me was not coming to my assistance.
“Don’t be angry Roberto, remember what I said about grieving. The healer knows you need this to follow it’s natural course. Don’t be embarrassed moro mou.” Although Cherine had dampened their emotions, I still felt their deep abiding love and concern and was able to allow myself to flow into her motherly comfort as I let my body rest against theirs. Cherine turned to her mother, her eyes very serious.
“Do you see why we need to be together. Why we need to touch afterwards, like Robert told you? We are all feeling sick. We must get home. Please don’t be angry.”
“I’m not angry my love. Just sad that I’ve never known this kind of love myself. Go, and if it means anything to you, love him, love both of them with my blessing.”
As we left I asked the healer to keep an eye on Alki and Marian, ensure they have a good night and are in prime health. Now I could relax and looked forward to my body and mind healing in the arms of my loved ones. I realised I must be recovering when I found myself preparing to tease that Cherine’s love had made me puke (throw up, emeto) - of course I did not, I’m not quite that stupid…yet.
As we arrived we heard the phone ringing. Cherine dashed in for it. As we entered, Dommi holding me, she held the phone out to Dommi, her eyes wide. “It’s your father.”
Suddenly it was I holding her up. All three of us shared the phone call through Dommi and I was awed by Cherine; she was understanding everything they said, even though they both spoke in Greek.
198
“My daughter, I have been to see Alki. He told me you had been there.”
“Yes we saw him. I’m glad you are not angry with him father.”
“I am not angry with him koukla mou, I am angry with myself. I allowed my pride to make me forget how much I love my little daughter. Can you forgive me?”
“Oh father, there is nothing to forgive. I am the one who needs your forgiveness.”
“Your mother has been very unhappy. Can you come to see her for just a few minutes, just to hug her so that she can be happy again? I know it is late but…”
“Oh mpampa, I can’t come now.” She was distressed. I stopped her.
“No, you go.”
“Father, Roberto is not well, I cannot leave him now. I also cannot come there unless all three of us are welcome.” Her eyes stared at me defiantly, challenging me to say anything. I kept quiet, but I was touched by her loyalty. Cherine came to us and kneeling held on to our legs, her face buried against my thigh. I felt her happiness, as did Dommi.
“You bring them all my daughter, soon as you can come.”
To forestall Dommi I grabbed the phone. “I am not that sick that she cannot come now. I’ll call a taxi for her now.”
“Roberto, how can I apologise for...”
“Please do not do this. I know how much you love Dominique. I would have been surprised if you had not. And I want you to know, I still love both of you very much. In many ways you have been like parents to me, giving me a family to belong to. Dominique will come now, I know you need some time alone. We can meet soon.”
“No Roberto. My daughter will not forgive us if you do not come with. Please come, if you are well enough.”
We clung to each other the whole trip there. While in our bodies, this was the closest we had ever been to being one in our love. The flow was gentle and sweet. All the bitterness had dissolved and I promised myself I will do whatever is necessary to bring Nicko back for my sweet Dommi. When we arrived they were waiting at the door for us. The mother ran to her daughter, crying, and they held on to each other tightly. She then gave me a kiss on my cheek.
“This is the little girl you have adopted? I am glad to meet you again my dear, you’ve grown prettier!” As she gave her hand to Cherine, Cherine stepped up and hugged her.
“Are you going to be my yiayia? (grandmother).”
For the sake of her daughter she replied kindly, “It would make me happy, if you want me to be.”
I knew that beneath the endearing act was a cheekiness, that she was laughing. I promised her I will teach her when we get home. She sent me an image of her holding two fingers up and then of her licking them. *You’ve got a dirty mind. How can you think of that at a time like this?* *She is not my yiayia, she is my mother in law. You want me to tell her?* *No. Okay, you win.* *I thought we all won?* *Stop it the two of you. This is my happy moment, please share it with me.* .
“But then he will be my pappou? I already have a pappou! Alki is my pappou!” I thought she was being too childish in her play-acting, laying it on too thick, forgetting she is a child. They lapped it up of course and explained to her she can have more than one grandfather.
“I would be very proud to be the pappou of any child that has Alki as her pappou.” Seriously she put out her hand and shook his.
199
We sat with them for a short time. They saw my exhaustion and suggested we come for supper the next evening. They had received the comfort of knowing their daughter still loves them and were happy to wait for a better time to get re-acquainted. The only spanner they threw was their comment that if we agree to have supper together, they will then make certain Nicko is there also, to see that the whole family is reconciled. I quickly asked them to change the day as I had made commitments I could not get out of. We agreed after-tomorrow would be fine.
As we drove back, Cherine of course spoke about what was on our minds. “How will one extra day help? Nicko still hates us.”
“I’m hoping for another miracle. If it does not happen, then we will have to face it. An extra day just might help.”
Dommi rejected any such hope. “I know Nicko, he will never forgive us. We have humiliated him.”
“You may be right Dommi. Could you girls give him the love we give to others if I asked you to. Could your mothering instinct help him?”
“He will not want it.”
Cherine was strangely quiet. I could feel the heat in her body, the ache for my lips, my hands. The need was burning in all of us, but it did not explain her strange and solemn attitude. I carefully avoided her thoughts, allowing her the time alone she seemed to need. It would be better she tell us at her own time what was causing her such concern, just as it would be healthier that she solves a few of her problems without our help. I’m glad she can still provoke my ‘daddy’ feelings for her. Dommi pulled her into a soft cuddle, maybe hoping to reassure her of our love. It seems she fought her battle and made her decision, for I saw that mysterious smile I adore.
When we got home Cherine immediately surreptitiously probed throughout the house for any electronic bugs. I did not want this fear to lay in her, in secret.
“Cherine, that was a good idea. We do not need to be afraid, but it is a good idea to check on a regular basis. It will be a comfort for all of us. Otherwise we might start to subconsciously lose our feeling of safety in our own home. Thanks for thinking of it love.”
She tried to speak in a grownup way, “Can we go sit in the lounge a moment. I want to talk to you.”
We sat and looked at Cherine.
“I have been thinking a lot.”
I quipped, for some reason afraid of whatever she was about to tell us. “That is unusual. Sorry, I’m sorry love, that was stupid. I promise, no more jokes.”
“Why do you hate the idea of making me a woman so much? It is not the damage to my vagina. That is just an excuse, you can fix any damage, and I do not think you will damage me so much anyway. It is something else, what is it?”
“You are only nine years old.”
“Not really. Not in that way. And I will still be, my body will be, still nine years old in two years. So why do you want to wait? How long do you really want to wait?”
I opened myself so that she feels how hard I am trying to be utterly honest with her. “The truth is, if you were a normal girl, I would want you to be sixteen. I would want you to go through the changes of puberty, the rebellion of being a teenager, which is a necessary change for you to become an adult. I would want to see that you still at that time, with all the changes, love and want me. I cannot wait that long for your body to mature, I would probably have to wait fifteen to twenty years. By then you would have become sick of waiting for me and given yourself to someone else. Seriously, there is only so long we can wait without the wait itself coming between us.
200
You touched on the real problem. Yes, in two years your body will still be nine years old, and the most delicious little sexy body in the world. But your mind will not be nine. It will be eleven. It will be a lot more mature. Compared to other girls you would be the same as a sixteen year old, were it not for the lack of experiencing puberty. It is impossible for you to understand the difference those two years would make. Try to remember what you were like one year ago, I am sure you can see the difference in your level of maturity, your ability to understand things you could not then. Multiply that by two, that is how different you will be. I want that mature mind, that mature love to make the decision to be my woman. Not a suspicion in my mind that I took advantage of your love and need for me as a child. I know my argument will not make sense to you. For good or bad, that is how I feel.”
“Okay.”
I waited. She did not explain. “Okay what love?”
“Okay, I’ll wait.”
Dommi jumped up with a scream of joy. She gathered Cherine to her and kissed her. She danced around the sitting room with Cherine in her arms and Cherine laughed with her.
“Roberto this has really been a day of miracles.”
“Why didn’t you tell me Dommi? I thought you were on my side.”
“If you wanted it so badly, I had to agree with you, even though I knew it was going to cost Robert so much. I also was afraid for you, no, I was terrified. I am so proud of you my baby, what made you change your mind?”
“My mother. She made me think about Robert instead of just what I want. Oh Dommi, he’s crying again!”
“Just happiness my love. You getting tired of having a cry-baby for a husband?”
I saw the imps suddenly appear in her eyes. “Legally you are not my husband you know.”
“I know my love.”
“No, I was reading in a woman’s magazine that a marriage is only legal when it is consumed. No, that is not the word. What is it?”
“Consummated. But then you would have to decide to cancel your vows. Do you? You want to be free?”
“I’ll let you know. Maybe in two years if I am still your Cherry baby.”
“Oh, but you will be. Forever. If I pick your ‘cherry’ that makes you my ‘Cherry baby’ all over again. Can I ask you for a small favour my love?”
“What?”
“Would you mind letting go of that old woman and giving me a hug? I need to feel you in my arms.”
“You just leave him to suffer. Old woman indeed. You noticed Cherine that he never calls me his Cherry baby. He picked my cherry, but thinks it was not special. It seems only yours matters - that is because he hasn’t taken it yet. I promise you, once he has it, he will forget about you being his Cherry baby.”
“Dommi, you look absolutely divine with green eyes.” Cherine looked at her eyes and we laughed. Dommi let her go and she came, scampering like a little monkey onto my lap.
I needed to tease. “Cherine, if you were to consider our marriage null and void, what about Dommi? I guess she also would not be your wife, since the two of you have not consummated your marriage.”
She squirmed up against me and I felt her amusement. “You are wrong you know, we did, through you.”
Αλέξανδρος Ζήνον Ευσταθίου
(Alexander Zenon Eustace)9th March, 2019
- posted on Steemit: 9th March, 2019
If you wish to have your name added above, I would be honoured.
