“What a life. It sounds to me like children of commoners have a better childhood, even if without palaces and servants.”“Of course I have! That is why I have a nanny, to learn how to protect myself.”
“It’s not too bad, not if you have claws.” She went ‘meow’ and giggled.
“And how do you treat those who love you?”
“Love? In the palace? The guards would not allow love through the gates.”
“That sounds too grown up and cynical for a child your age. Let me guess, another saying by your nanny?”
She nodded, suddenly for no reason I could see, shy.
“Thina, how do you react to my loving you? Will I feel your claws?”
Suddenly she was sobbing and in my arms. I got to my feet with her clinging to me, her legs around my waist and walked further away from the others. The last thing we needed right now was to have someone stumble upon us. I sat under a palm facing the desert and stroked her hair and rubbed her back. I massaged her tiny arms and shoulders and then returned to her back. As my thumb pressed down her spine to the tail end she pressed herself to me and made a strange moaning sigh. Startled I pulled my hand away and then rested it on her shoulder. I kissed the top of her head. I heard her mumbling and asked what she’d said.
“I said I know why it is not allowed to touch me. Because it is nice.”
“Yes it is. You smell lovely.”
“Can you touch me like that in front also?”
“It isn’t usually done Thina. That is for when you grow up.”
“Please? Just a little bit?”
I’d been a little too aware of her front pressing against me as she kept her legs wrapped around me, so I turned her around and with her legs modestly lying between mine I rubbed her shoulders and over her chest, missing her baby nipples I rubbed her tummy. She wiggled her bottom into me and then lifted a leg. “Please?”
I had to lean forward to reach and that pressed her into me, but I pretended it meant nothing and massaged her leg and when she raised the other massaged that too. As my hand massaged her sparrow thigh her hand came over mine and pushed upwards. I pulled my hand away. She sighed and relaxed against me.
“I’ve never been touched like that before. When my nanny bathes me her hand is hard and hurts me.” I trembled at the thought of anyone hurting her.
“Have you ever told anyone?”
“I couldn’t do that! I would be punished.”
I’d been shocked at the stirrings in my loins as I’d massaged her, but at her words I felt sick. “Have your parents ever kissed you?”
“My mother did, one night she came to me and cried. I could smell she had been drinking. Afterwards she kissed me and then said men are bad.”
I was so angry I was shaking. She felt it and looked up at me, worried. Her look broke my heart and I decided, to hell with everything and raising her I turned her around. “May I kiss you? It will be a kiss to show my love for you.”
3662
She raised her face to me and I softly kissed her brow. My lips fluttered over her eyes, down her cheeks and softly came to rest on her lips. I could smell her breath and it was the sweetest scent I’d ever smelled. I pulled away a little and whispered, “I love you Thina.”
“Me too.” She buried her face in my chest and a short while later she whispered, “I love you Sam.”
I got her back into the tent she shares with Rose and Wilfred and spent the night struggling with emotions that tore at my heart. I even prayed to Lady Melina, asking if there were a way for me to steal her, take her to the Lady’s world and bring her up as my daughter, filling her life and heart with love and laughter. I think I also swore to find her nanny upon our return and murder her. Many crazy thoughts twisted their way in loops until I knew not what I wanted.
“Does everyone agree it would be safe for us to presume the next oasis does not lie above that slope? We must then send out two search parties at the same time. We lost a couple of days recovering from our last trip.”
“Captain, give me Harvey, Shida and Melios and we’ll do a third search. That still leaves enough of you to stand guard.”
I could almost see his thoughts as he considered my request: Sam wants two loyal soldiers to corrupt. He surprised me by agreeing.
“Yours will be the smallest party so you better take the safest route. Walk along the slope.”
“We will keep it in sight.” He nodded. I saw Princess Thina looking at me with pleading eyes so I gave a slight negative shake of my head. She knew she was asking for the impossible. Not only would her wishes be refused, but if I sneaked her away with us I would be executed immediately upon my return. I no longer wished to die. I was determined to live so as to protect her. I was also beginning to have a vague notion what protecting her meant. As she loves saying, ‘really mean’. Keeping her alive and physically unharmed is not enough. Her little heart is starved and she needs what little I can teach her about my values so that she can grow up to be a queen who looks for new answers. The old ones are sterile and killing us all as a nation.
I explained my thoughts to her that night when she sneaked out to me and sobbed that I did not love her.
“I wish you could be my king.”
I smiled and wiped her cheeks. “I thought you wanted to marry Golden?”
She considered it. “No, he would not be a good king.” She hesitated. “He would be too good. They would kill him.”
“Here I was thinking you would say you preferred me because you love me more.” I teased.
“Maybe. Sam, I cannot love a king I have to spend all my time protecting. I would not be strong enough to change things.”
“What would you like to change?”
“If I have a child, I will look after him, or her. No nannies.”
“That may be one of the greatest possible changes. If you do that Thina, we can then hope for kings and queens who are human beings and have a little empathy for ordinary people.” She was pleased that I was pleased with her, but I could see she did not really care about her subjects. To her we were still aliens or perhaps, pawns in a game. Slowly, I vowed, I will change that.
She fell asleep curled up in my arms and I gave her as long as I dared, treasuring the time I had alone with her.
The other two must have sensed his wish to speak to me and they walked apart from us.
“When your eyes are clear I know you have questions. What troubles you Melios?”
3663
“You do. I do not understand what you are up to. You were appointed leader and yet, from the first day you allowed the Captain to take command. Why?”
“I am a thinker, I make a good advisor. We make a better team this way.”
“Why did you ask for me to join you today?”
“I have thoughts and questions. We need to talk.”
“You have not said that to me since we joined the army.”
I asked, “Do you consider me a traitor?”
“By law you are. I am not so certain in fact. If I understand what you said, you consider our princess first a child and then a princess?”
“You do see!”
“If we were back home and I asked you, there is a law that is not just, am I allowed to break it(?), you would have replied I should not, that I should seek first to have the law changed.”
“I was more of a prig than I am now so you are correct. What if the law you wanted to break was one that affected an innocent party? Would my answer still be the same?”
He chuckled. “You are asking me what you would say?”
“You started this Melios. Anyway, I think you knew me better than I knew myself.”
He touched my arm, stopping. I turned to him. “You would have said the innocent come first.”
“You have a higher opinion of me than I do. I believe it took a number of circumstances to open my eyes to that truth.”
The other two had also stopped and were looking back at us. We ignored them.
“Sam, when you believe something, the opinions of others do not matter to you. What is troubling you?”
“I betrayed you. Worse, I suspected you and reported my suspicions.”
“Suspected me of what?”
“Of being an agent for the Perts or at best of those who would see our princess disposed of so that they can inherit the throne.”
“Since when do I have such high contacts?”
“Don’t dissemble with trite answers Melios. Such persons would have searched you out.”
“They did not.”
“That is why I needed to speak with you alone, I know you are not an agent of either of them and mean no harm to our princess. However, I know you too well, you are an agent of some third party. The changes I have seen in you send me clear warning.”
He sounded annoyed. “It is very difficult to relax with you Sam. You are always examining everything under a magnifying glass.”
I grinned. “You feel like a specimen?”
“Yes!”
“You are my best specimen then - a beautiful butterfly whose wings are coloured by dreams.”
“Who do you think I am an agent for, then?”
“Lady Melina.”
3664
“What makes you think so?”
I gave him my reasons. He did not answer me, he just began walking and so we all resumed our search.
“Sam?”
“Yes Melios?”
“I am her agent.” I did not know whether to be glad he’d admitted it or not. “Sam?”
“There is more?”
“Yes. Sam, you are her agent also.”
Not much I could say to that, not that I’d thought of it that way.
I’ve read stories of people in the desert and I can’t help wondering why no one mentions one of the greatest dangers. The sand can almost seem malicious in the way it constantly tries to twist an ankle. If you are unlucky and step on a stone hidden in the sand it can easily happen and in this area, even though not close to the slope, there were many stones.
We were supposed to walk for no longer than six hours before turning back. We saw a speck in the distance and walked an extra hour before we saw it was a field of rocks. It was middle of the day and we were tired so we walked into the rocky area hoping for some shade. Melios was enjoying the scenery, not looking where he trod and stepped on a rock that moved and his ankle twisted. Within a short time it had swollen.
We found shade and waited for the sun to begin its downwards slide before starting our return trip. Melios was not much of a weight on me as he hobbled on his swollen ankle, but I helped balance him so that he would not put his full weight on it.
As we left the rocky area and were almost back in the sand, Harvey tried to take a sudden step backwards. A snake had appeared in front of him. He fell and I don’t know what the snake thought he was about to do to it, but it decided to attack. With a shout Shida jumped between them and the snake bit him. He grabbed the snake and flung it away which meant none of us had the time to identify what kind of snake it was.
I borrowed a blade from Melios and sliced between the two fang points. I sucked at the wound and spat out the blood until I felt I had most of the poison out of his system. A sleeve from Harvey was wrapped around the leg and with Shida claiming he felt well we continued our journey home.
Helping Melios quickly became more exhausting than I’d imagine it would be and as we tired, his ankle became more painful so that he could not bear to rest it on the ground. We were only half way back when I had to help Melios sit so that both of us could rest awhile. The other two carried on walking, probably not even noticing we were no longer with them. As they grew distant I saw that they were weaving, not walking in a straight line.
There was little danger in extending our return journey into the night as the rise of the land could be seen by starlight. I waited until the sun had set, and then helping Melios to his feet, we began to walk again. Five men met us about an hour from the oasis and they carried Melios the rest of the way.
Solaz and Orsin asked me where the other two were and I mumbled something about them being ahead of us. With a drink of water from them and their steadying hands it was not too long before we arrived at the tents. Gratefully I lay down and closed my eyes.
It felt as if no time had passed when I was roughly shaken awake. I struggled to open my eyes, but my eyeballs felt as if grit had embedded itself under my eyelids and opening my eyes was scratching them painfully.
“For god’s sake Sam, wake up. Harvey and Shida have not returned. Give us an idea of where to search for them, they will not last another day in the sun.”
“I’ll come with…”
3665
“You will stay here, we don’t need another body to carry. Where did you last see them?” I told Captain Erin what I remembered and they left. Now I was worried and could not sleep, despite my body aching with the need to lie down.
“What a great team, four go out and two return and of those, one is injured. You volunteering to go out with him next time?” Alex said to Nicholas. He laughed. “Sure, let me know when.” Those two are very close, day and night. If anyone attacks one of them they will have to deal with both. I just wasn’t interested in responding if they think I am to blame for stones turning and snakes appearing…
I went over to Melios, but he was fast asleep. I saw someone had wrapped his ankle so I sat at a table and tried to think. I would ask him tomorrow, I decided. I wanted to know how in a desert without insects, lizards or any other living creatures, we came across a snake.
At dawn I went outside and as I’d expected Alki came out. He took a long look at me from afar and then came to my side. “You’ve had a bad night Sam?”
“I went out with three men yesterday and returned with one. The others have been searching for them all night. If they are not dead yet, they will be after a couple of hours in the sun. Alki, I’m not asking you to save them, just point in which direction I will find them.”
“They will find their way here Sam. Let them be.”
I was shaking with anger. I pointed out to the desert. “If you don’t tell me I will walk in that direction until I find them.”
“I hope you enjoy your walk.”
He’d called my bluff so all that was left, was to do as I’d threatened. As I was walking away I turned to him. “No insects Alki. Not a damn thing alive in this desert but for us. Where does a sperming snake come from then? This another one of your tests?”
“Not your test Sam.” He turned away from me, walking away. I went to the tent, picked up a full flask and walked in the direction I’d pointed at.
Jan came out of the tent I’d taken the flask from. “Where do you think you are going?”
“To find the rest of my team.”
“This is an order Sam, you are not going anywhere. Go back to the main tent.” He leant back into the tent, said something and then came after me. Another two, Claude and Larry came after him. “I will use force if I have to Sam and then I’ll have to keep you tied. You don’t want that, so do as I said.”
I was in a foul temper and about to challenge them to try, when I saw Princess Thina staring at me, her face reflecting her fear. I walked back to Jan, stood real close to the three of them and spoke softly so that only they could hear me.
“If they are not back by midnight or if they die out there, I will break every bone in your body.” Stiffly I walked back to the tent. To discourage anyone from trying to talk to me I lay down on my mattress and stared at the canvas above me. I woke up late in the afternoon.
Melios was sitting cross-legged, watching me. “Harvey carried Shida in about twenty minutes after you fell asleep. The others returned two to three hours later. All are alive and recovering.”
“I am leaving Melios. I’m no longer part of this team.”
“You are still tired and depressed. We’ll talk about it in the morning.”
“Sperm you Melios. You tell her that I don’t belong to her team either. She is welcome to put a full nest of vipers at my feet if she wants to, but I am done playing her games.”
He leant forward and whispered, “Sam, if I give you a name, will you swear on everything you consider holy not to repeat it to anyone else?” I was intrigued, what could be so important about a name and nodded. “Does the name Robert mean anything to you?”
“No. I’ve never heard it before. Is it a Pert name?”
3666
“It does not matter what the name is. Sam, the day you know what Robert means, on that day you can walk away. Till then you will stay here for the princess. You made her dependent on you, so don’t you dare walk away from her now. She does not deserve that from you.”
“What do you know about the princess?”
“Enough to know you have taken on a duty and you have to stay, however it makes you suffer.”
At supper that evening I put down my plate and went to stand before Jan. The whole tent went silent.
“I owe you an apology. By forcing me to stay you prevented me from wasting my life.”
“Would you have fought me?”
“Yes.”
“I would like to fight you some time, but not in anger. I would like to know whether skill can beat brains.”
I laughed. “Then you will have to find someone else to fight. Recently I have done nothing but prove my lack of intelligence.” I leant forward and whispered, knowing many would hear. “Allow me to demonstrate once again.”
I called out to Captain Erin, deliberately not using his title. “I have not committed treason Erin and you know it. Any nation that makes laws forbidding anyone from loving a child is sick and needs to be healed. To criticise in the hope of bringing dissension and destroying your country is treason, but criticism made in the hope of righting a wrong or changing life for the better for its citizens should not only be allowed, but considered a duty by those who love their country.”
“You speak of anarchy. We have a king and a government to examine our laws and decide what is wrong or right. To allow any person, whatever their qualifications to challenge our laws cannot be allowed and is treason.”
“Any nation where the citizens do not have the right, whatever their qualifications, to shout out against a perceived injustice is a nation of slaves. I was not born a slave and refuse to live or die as one. My voice will be heard.”
“Then go out to the desert dunes and shout your treason for none here wish to hear you.”
I nodded. “You are right, even the grains of sand would hear me, where a heart locked from all that makes us human is deaf. What is it with you Captain Erin, is it that you truly believe what you say or is it your ambition that speaks for you?”
The emphasis I placed on his title gave him pause, reminding him I was true commander of the group, under orders directly from the king. He then recalled I was under arrest for treason, an arrest he had the right to, so he dismissed my words. I stepped closer to him and spoke softly, just for the pleasure of needling him.
“Kings orders Captain Erin, I bear ultimate responsibility for the well being of our princess. You choose to cross swords with me on my decision on what is required for her while away from her home and family? You are taking a big risk, you better be very certain of yourself.”
He paled and I noticed the men, especially those not of the sacred 42 yet, look at each other with unease. I bowed to him.
“I will respect the arrest you declared, but where we differ on matters of her security or well being, I am in command and you will obey - do not interfere again Captain.” I walked out of the tent leaving a deathly hush behind me.
I suspected I had made an enemy of him. Before this night his prissy thoughts and ambition drove him; as from tonight hate and determination to prove me a traitor beyond doubt will be a force I’ll have to protect myself from. I will be spied on, so my meetings with the princess have to be made under different circumstances. I knew she will be unhappy about it, but I hoped she will grow to understand the need.
3667
As I’d expected, she came to me that night. She did not know that she had been seen and watched over on her way to me by the ten who’d declared themselves. I’d explained to them my thoughts and they stood guard to prevent any spy watching this final night the princess and I will have to enjoy each other’s love freely and without guarding our faces.
“You made me worried about you last night.”
“I apologise.”
Still accusing she said, “You frightened me today.”
“Some things had to be met face on my princess. We need to talk.”
She was delighted, almost jumping up and screaming when she learnt that I was the true officer in charge of the team. She demanded in her childish glee (and in accordance with the way she knew power worked in the palace) that I punish Erin for calling me a traitor. With difficulty (because I was laughing) I calmed her down.
“Within the letter of the law he acted correctly. I did not challenge him today because I have the power. Thina, my motives were base; I plan to break him and turn him into a traitor also. We cannot return as the sacred 42 with only forty one members. If we are to be your protectors and secret weapon once we are back home, he has to be one of us. We must gamble my sweet princess for it is truly all or nothing.”
I explained how it will be from now on, that my touches will be rare and fleeting, but that we can be companions and talk before all the men. She understood she will have to be careful of what she says. I gave her a grin.
“Most of the battle will be fought by you, not me. You have to win their hearts in the same way you won mine.”
“Did I really?”
“All of it.”
“I don’t know how I did, Sam.”
“By being who you are. Speak of what it is like to be a princess. Of the friends you have, of how you enjoy playing with them, of how your parents spend time with you and smother you with love. Of how everyone from servant to those of the noblest family treat you kindly and look out for your good and safety.”
Her eyes were enormous as she listened to me. “But that is not true!”
“I was using irony love.” I cautioned her. “Do not complain - ever! Speak of how your life really is, in answer to what I say or ask, but speak as if it is natural to live the way you do, as you did with me. Never cry, unless it is something that will bring tears to their eyes also. Never try to make yourself sound brave, let the way you think and behave speak of your brave heart. Let those who love you speak to the others and make clear for them all the good qualities you have and of how you are wronged.”
I expected her to make many mistakes for she is a child after all and will be tempted to act, but I was not worried. I knew that her qualities would still shine through and the inhumane way she was brought up would touch the hearts of men trained to kill. Finally I shushed her, gave her a gentle massage and held her to me tightly until we could no longer delay her return. She clung to me and kissed my face all over as I had kissed hers before and then her lips touched mine, but they were not softly given. Without knowing how to kiss, her lips were passionate and claiming me as hers alone forever.
When I returned to the tents I saw the men were all up and preparing for another search for the next oasis. It was made obvious that I was not expected to take part. As it turned out, it did not matter. Before they could leave Alki, Wilfred and Nicko came to us.
“Captain Erin, we have a message for you. Food will be delivered for another seven days to this oasis. There have been too many accidents and to leave at the end of this week would bring about unnecessary deaths. The Lady asks that you rest and regain your strength for life at the next oasis will test you all to your limits. You do not need to search for the new oasis, I know the way and will lead you there directly at the appointed time.”
3668
I called out, “Will all five of you be with us there?”
“No. She has forbidden it. The ladies will meet us at the oasis after the next one. At that time we will be seven, for Nicko wishes his wives to join him.”
“If it will be too harsh for your ladies, will you be sparing the princess from the ordeal?”
“No.” He looked sickened by his own answer and it frightened us. “She too must be tested.”
Erin shouted. “We never consented to such testing! We refuse to continue with this.”
Softly Wilfred asked, “How Captain? You will stay here, return to the first oasis? That way lies certain death for all of you, including your princess. You will feed her with your determination? When her lips crack and she pleads for water, you will dig your way to the heart of this world to find her water?”
I spoke loudly and clearly so that Erin or some other hothead would not interrupt me. “Captain Erin is right in saying that we did not consent to her tests or lessons as she calls them. However, we also recognise her will determines our fate. She did make one promise though and that helped bend us to her. She guaranteed that our princess would not be placed in danger or harmed. You speak of her now facing trials greater than any we have faced up to now. She is breaking her own word?”
“No Samuel, she is not. No harm will come to your princess. The tests she must bear are tests a strong minded child can pass if you remember your oath and protect her. If she fails, it means she will not have grown strong enough to become a good ruler, but no other harm will come to her. It is for her own good. She must learn what her weaknesses are for her to become stronger.”
“Tell your Lady Melina that we will do as she demands. I speak for all on this though. I do not threaten, but I promise. Though we be but mortals and she be as a god, should she break her word and this child is harmed, not one of us will rest before avenging her, not even if death comes to us first.”
“You have our word that Samuel speaks correctly on this.” Jan called out, his face fierce.
I could have wrested control from Erin without even his resistance after that hour. To do so I reasoned would only weaken us. My original reasons for allowing him to appear as commanding officer were still sound. He is an efficient organiser if subtly directed when his stubbornness rules him, he is the kind of officer that inspires his men - me included. I am only able to inspire for short periods of time and then they see me as an intellectual and the bond is broken again. Warriors need a warrior to lead them.
I finished off with, “You can travel back to that town we first met in whenever you want, so don’t tell me you can’t do it.”
They did not get upset by my request, but they did not promise me anything. If they wanted to play it that way they should not have brought their women with them. I left their tent and went straight to my mattress for an early sleep for the first time since arriving at this desert of theirs. I had funny dreams that night about forty girls who could fly and do magic and their voices carried over into that moment of awakening. It was the happiest dream I ever recall having. I’ve seen fathers who allow themselves to be wrapped around the little finger of their daughter and here I was, changing, turning into a mushy old man without having a daughter of my own. I had not realised Princess Thina had touched me so deeply.
“It is time we do something special for the child. Today she will not be our princess, just a little girl celebrating her seventh birthday far away from home and family. We are all she has at this moment and it is up to us to make this her happiest day ever.”
The men seemed to like the idea, but they waited for their Captain to agree.
“It is her birthday?”
“Who knows? Erin, do you remember your birthdays as a child? Your parents were like mine were, struggling to make ends meet and yet on this day they tried to make you feel special? She has never had a birthday. Not just no party ever; no birthday, nobody to show her they are happy she was born, that her presence in this world gives joy to someone. We do not know what else waits us in this crazy testing of the Lady, but we do know we have this day and this opportunity to hear a child laugh because we made her happy.”
3669
“Sam, you talk too much, you don’t know when to stop trying to hammer your point home. If they bring what you asked for, we give her a party.”
“Even if they don’t. We can sit in a circle and tell jokes, play games with her and a few of us might even sing for her. What do you say Wendor?”
Once the heat of the day broke, Rose ordered us to leave the main tent. She also suggested we bathe ourselves. When we were called back to the tent we had all shaved and clean now, wore our wrinkled but just washed clothes as if we were dressed in court finery. They had decorated the tent with flowers, green branches with leaves and where our princess is to be seated a circle of petals will surround her. Alki appeared at the entrance and we all stood up. He stepped to the side and offered his arm to the prettiest girl we have ever seen. She was dressed in a sky blue dress that seemed to have been spun by spiders. Her long hair was freshly washed and glistened in the sun for a moment before she entered.
“Happy birthday Thina.” The others joined me in my greeting, only a few still adding the word ‘princess’.
“We do not know which date your birthday falls on, we aren’t even certain what the date is today, but we are having a birthday party for you so that you will know you have a number of friends who feel the need to celebrate the fact that you were born and became a part of our lives.” I stepped up to her and got down on one knee. “I swear an oath above all other oaths, Thina, princess in every way that matters to me, my allegiance is yours for the rest of my life. I swear to protect and stand at your side whenever danger or need arises. I am yours to command.”
The ten joined me and then another nine joined us. Each of us lightly touched her hand and withdrew.
Thina searched my eyes, not certain how to react. I gave her a wink and she smiled.
“Thank you.” She looked around the tent with wonder, as if the finery of her palace were nothing compared to this and asked, “Is this really for me?”
Thina showed appreciation for everything anyone did for her. She played games with us and some smiled indulgently while others felt their hearts were lighter for a while. The five had a gift for her, a doll that was different from anything I have ever seen before. They told her the Gillians had made it for her out of different plants. For instance, the skin of the doll is made out of a treated under-bark that looks and feels just like real skin, only colder.
When the party was almost over Thina asked, hoping to make the party last longer, for a story. When she asked me, after a couple of men had begged off, I smiled at her.
“This man we call Melios, the one with the dreamy eyes, he loves to make up stories. Ask him.”
He told her a story from our childhood, adding new twists and turns to it, about a baby born to a servant who worked in the palace. Her husband had gone off to war and had died so she knew she could not raise her little daughter by herself. The queen had also just given birth and the woman looking after the new-born princess came to her crying and weeping in terror. The princess had died in her sleep and the woman knew she would be tortured and killed for letting the princess die. The servant convinced the woman that they should exchange the babies. She felt happy knowing her little daughter would grow up a princess.
In the story the princess was pampered and spoilt and because of a false accusation by her, the mother gets flogged and fired, but the mother does not care, she is happy that her child has everything. Thina listened to the story, the embellishments Melios made up to describe what a marvellous life the princess had and she kept quiet, not wanting to spoil the story.
When it was over she politely thanked Melios. I asked her if her life at the palace was anything like it had been for the princess in the story.
“No. I do have a nice room, but nothing else is the same.”
3670
Slowly I dragged details of her life out of her and the tent was silent as they all absorbed her words, trying to re-paint their own pictures of what they’d thought life was like for her. When Rose decided Thina was tired and had to go to bed, another four men stepped forward to kneel before her and make their oaths. I watched Captain Erin out of the corner of my eye and was pleased to see he was troubled.
Once we were alone, after she went to each of the men and thanked them for a lovely party, the five and our princess gone, the tent began to buzz with conversations, voices raised in anger more often than ever before. Even my arrest had not upset these men as much. Though the common man or woman may envy those who live in luxury, they also see it as fitting. A princess should be pampered and spoilt and if it costs a little bit extra in taxes, then so be it, it is her due. Her matter of fact narration of her circumstances, the loneliness and unloved life she leads, that became clear without her realisation that such a life is not normal, angered them. I thought to myself with satisfaction, wait until I get her to speak about her nanny, if any man here does not kneel before her, it will be because he does not have a heart. Soldiers are sentimental men. They have to be to kill for a reason, otherwise they become brutes, animals who slaughter for the pleasure of it. Such men are rare among those of our age, more preponderant among the older disillusioned soldiers.
I took a stroll in the dark, wishing I had a mug of ale and some harmony to chew. The childish voice of my princess with her words, though I’d known them before, had caused a turmoil within my mind again, so that I had difficulty in thinking of sleeping. A shadow stepped out and I saw it was Erin by my side. He did not speak for a few minutes.
“Sometimes duty does not seem to serve the ways our heart asks of us. We do not have the right to judge our king Sam.” I saw no point in answering him. It seemed to me his words were spoken more to convince himself. He sighed. “You have now over half the men declared traitors. This oath you made, pure and beautiful as it sounds, is still of highest treason. None of us have the right to give our oaths to anyone but the king. To declare such an oath above any we made to our king, Sam, not even the orders by the king to you can provide leniency in his judgement of you when we return. If what she told us today is true you have sealed her fate. You have put her in danger.”
“Only if the sacred 42 remain forty one.”
“You expect to get all the others to give their oaths to her? Not all men are willing to risk their lives so casually Sam, not for a child who does not even understand what it is they are offering.”
“It is because she is a child we have to make our oaths. Erin, she is still being moulded into the adult she will become, that is what is so special about children. It is not only our responsibility to see that she becomes the best person she can be, we owe it to our country. Our oath is to the future, Erin. A queen who feels for her people, who has empathy and understands what ails them and tries to improve their lives, that is worth sacrificing our lives for. Not just for a child Erin, we also do this for our country.”
“You could always talk rings around me Sam. I am a simple man, I am given orders and I obey them as my oath demands. I cannot afford to question every order, I would end up confused and useless as a soldier.”
“As a soldier, perhaps, but what a great man you would become.”
“You are trying to turn a babysitting operation into an open rebellion.”
“Not open Erin. If we are to be effective we have to find ways to act behind the scenes.”
“You even speak like a traitor now.”
I asked the five to bring Princess Thina to us after our evening meal, when all the men would be in good humour and relaxed and yet still early enough that she will not be sleepy. I decided it would antagonise everyone if I sat her on my lap, so I’d asked Rose to hold her. I allowed the conversation to drift, let those who had thought up questions from the previous nights’ disclosures ask them. I could feel Thina’s eyes on me often, but I wanted to introduce the subject in a natural manner. I did not have to, Erin did it for me.
“Princess, to us much of what you told us about your way of life was startling. Surely you would not have been left as an infant to fend for yourself? Was there no woman to care for you?”
“I have a nanny.”
“What is she like, does she teach you everything you have to know? Does she love you?”
“She told me that love is not allowed in the palace, that the guards have orders to keep love outside.”
I hope you enjoy reading this story of fantasy, adventure and love - and should some of it be true for our reality, I hope you will love our Cherine.
Αλέξανδρος Ζήνον Ευσταθίου
(Alexander Zenon Eustace)11th December, 2019
- posted: 11th December, 2019
If you wish to read from an earlier book, from Book 01 to Book 05, use this link button to open the LC Book Index:
