“It depends on you Fe’jene. It is not something we can ‘teach’ as such; it comes as part of being a Cherinian.”
3401
Dommi looked at me when I said that, but did not comment. It might be right for us to be open about what being a Cherinian is and what our experiences have taught us, but I do not think we should help others develop gifts that empower them if they do not also develop the sensitivities that prevent them from using those gifts to hurt others. The difference between some of my loves and me, in this regard, is that I consider us responsible for how others use any gifts we open in them, especially if we did not first ensure that they are Cherinians.
Since Shiyra got into a deep conversation with Fe’jene and Iniquion, we left them alone. We knew they were talking about souls and how they achieve ultimate union, but we also felt that Shiyra does not want us listening. I did wonder why, after all, we would also be interested in learning of any information she is willing to share.
Before Dommi and I parted, she said to me, “That was a catty remark about the Normals, Sam, the belief regarding loyalty to their mate, is held by most Normals.”
I laughed, “It is? I thought that divorces and multiple remarriages is far over the fifty percent mark, in those societies we are talking about - which does include Greece, Dommi mou. Of those who cling to their first marriage, in how many of them are both parties totally loyal to their spouse?” I felt her and added, “I may be right Dommi, but I would, if I could, prefer to think as you do, for to think like me is to see the world as an uglier place.”
She shook her head. “No, I spoke without considering the facts, because I want the world to be as I said it is. I’m sorry, Sammy mou.” By what she said, Dommi only reinforced my wish that I could be as her, for it means that despite knowing the truth about our myths of love, she has a more beautiful heart.
We had a very early and light supper; everyone who needed to use the ablution rooms did so and Robbie created the platform over the lake. Jade wanted me to join them, she insisted that writing the diary has made me a storyteller and I should be part of them. Laughing, I told her she is wrong and refused.
Because of Shiyra we first explained about the golden circle of love and told them we will do it before the storytelling. Cherine said that whoever does not want to give their love is still welcome to be part of our sharing, so that they can feel what everyone else’s love feels like. Our little prime girl has the right instincts. Shiyra did not open up and we felt nothing from her, but it was obvious sharing with us did affect her. We wondered what it was like for the Ii entity.
After a short break the storytelling began. We soon realised it is to be a full storytelling. This will take many hours and will take up the next evenings also. I looked forward to it with pleasure, even though I knew I will cringe with embarrassment many times. Robbie grabbed the twins and Diana and comforted by the feeling of them against him he settled back to enjoy the show, his heart emoting his happiness. We also formed ourselves into small groups, Aganthi, Irene and Noelle joining me - my one consolation is that I do see the transference of Agapi to our Family Circle as being only beautiful.
I saw my daughter is part of a group that includes my mother, so I concentrated on the girls up on the platform. To allow us time to settle and relax, Wendy played us some of her latest pieces of music. When Meli became the focus of the group, the storytelling began.
Though they took a number of breaks, by early morning they were all exhausted. Robbie carried them to our bed and they were asleep before we got back. We all slept almost the whole day.
“I’d thought that becoming a Cherinian means we will have to adopt your ways. I see that many of your own species have not. It is a comfort.”
“Fe’jene, as you learnt, hardly anyone has. You are talking about the way our family is made up? That is not important and is a personal choice. What is not a choice, is that you have to open yourselves to the pain of empathy. Ask Cherine, she’ll tell you. Empathy is not a comfortable gift to have, but it does make you a far better person.”
She did not disagree with Meli and I saw others also agreeing with Meli. I’d never thought of describing empathy as an uncomfortable gift, but saw Meli is right. I guess life is much easier when you only have to think of your own needs. More comfortable, but infinitely poorer.
3402
Shiyra did not comment, but when we announced it is time for the storytelling to resume, she was obviously eager and ready for it. Goldi sat by her. Shiyra put her arm around her shoulders and they sat together for the rest of that evening. When the story reached the part where we discovered the Ii, she pulled her arm away and sat up, all her concentration on the story and the images Jade was projecting. When she put her arm around Goldi again, we felt her squeeze Goldi to her.
“I can see now why none of you enjoyed having me become soft and mushy. Robert, it was horrible for me. I was afraid to speak or do anything in case I hurt someone.”
“We know my love. You are not yet entirely as you were when we first met, I look forward to the day you are.”
She shrugged. “I can’t be what I was Robert. Everyone, you also, we all change with time. I think you call it growing up?”
“I hate it.” He grinned as he said it and she gave him a kiss for saying it. She then gave him a haughty look. “You better get used to it. I want you to love me for what I am, not just for what I used to be. If I can love you as you are now, then so can you.”
“But I do sweetheart, I love the way I am.”
Whenever anyone of us has a discussion or teases Robbie, we all join in; not when Cherine does - then we just keep quiet and try to stay out of the way. When they become affectionate and loving though, then they both pull us all in. They both insist that we are a part of the love they feel for each other. When Robbie loves my daughter(s), I feel the same way, so I guess I understand what they mean.
Fe’jene has been spending these last few days with us. She has so many questions! We all feel she is close to becoming the first Cherinian of her species. Wouldn’t that be ironic! Her mate is still self-effacing and needs to find his balance before he can make such a decision. Fe’jene will wait for him though, she would not want to be a Cherinian without him.
As for Shiyra, who knows what she is really thinking? She has so many faces, each of us seeing her as we want to. I think that is what is troubling Robbie. He says that trying to get to know her is like trying to touch a mirage. She does not spend her time with us anymore, mostly on her own, sometimes with this or that alien friend and rarely with Goldi. She does not open up to Goldi though, they both just bask in each other’s gift of charm. That seems strange to me.
The scientists have gone back to their studies of gravity. They say they are looking to find a way to achieve zero point, whatever that means. They insist it will unleash new ways of utilising energy and make space flight affordable for all non-Cherinian species. We take turns watching them and the rest of us glean from that one whatever was learnt of importance. Robbie makes trips to the void and he tries, as the void, to learn more about the way Ii creates the null effect. He cannot tell the scientists and enlist their support, as he does not want Shiyra to hear about it.
He has also taken to spending time alone with Latreia. He is currently teaching her how to draw. He’ll choose an interesting site, rocks, trees, waterfalls and so on, and watch as she tries to recreate them on paper. He rarely interferes directly, but he explains or points out ways for her to improve the drawing, or else shows her how to achieve an effect of perspective she is struggling with. I thought it has to do with the way you draw the line, you know, like railway tracks coming closer till they fade away in the distance. He pointed out to her, how by strengthening or fading the boldness or shading she can achieve the same effect. Robbie says she has talent, enough for it to be a hobby for her and source of much pleasure throughout her life.
Slowly she is becoming comfortable with him again. He knows she has resigned herself to not being with him and is defensive whenever he is around. Using this strategy of his, she has relaxed and her enthusiasm for what she is learning is opening her to him again. We feel her at night when she lies alone and the pain comes bubbling up so that tears wet her pillow. If only we could find a way to take away her pain - preferably by her accepting that she does belong with us. Just as well we have to stay here for Shiyra, it gives Latreia and us more time.
Shiyra wandered into our sitting room, which is fairly open anyway to the surrounding garden. She smiled at us, chatted with a couple of us and arrived at her goal.
“Robert, a question and honest answer from you please?”
“Go ahead.”
3403
“What are you trying to do? Are you looking for vulnerabilities?”
“My experiments? You felt them?”
“Yes.”
He smiled. “They proved one thing at least. You remain in communication with the main part of yourself. I’m not interested in vulnerabilities Shiyra, just in understanding how you negate the effects of the two suns. Should I be interested?”
“How can I attack you here?”
“With you and that,” he nodded up at the sky-ball of energy, “here? We are the ones who are vulnerable as long as you remain.”
“You realised that?”
“I’ve known from the day I decided to bring you here. Shiyra, how can we learn of each other, become friends, if we concentrate on protecting ourselves only? You showed trust by accepting us within your sphere.”
“It is not the same. You were at our mercy there, as you are here now.”
He sat back, looking relaxed. “That sounds ominous.” He smiled.
“Not ominous, just speaking of facts.”
“Why have you dropped your emoting, you are no longer trying to enchant us.”
“Just you Robert. I saw it is not working and it is not efficient to continue with what is proven to be ineffective.”
Without smiling, looking her in the eyes he said, “I think I like you better now.”
That obviously confused her. She shook her head. “The storytelling has revealed too much about you, for you to succeed in confounding me with your tactics.” He did not reply, just sat staring at her. We can feel his dismay at her lack of understanding and a worry nibbling at the edges of his awareness.
“I thought that you were searching for ways to achieve your goals of becoming the ultimate soul. Why are you delaying your people, those of your own planet?”
“Make them gods you mean?”
“What else will an ultimate soul made up of all your people be?”
He glanced at me to reassure himself that what he felt in my mind was true before speaking.
“It would be wrong Shiyra. There is a time when souls are ready. To become a god before they are, will create an imperfect god, one that will damage itself. Even giving the gift of Cherine to those not ready will damage them, and since they will become immortal they will not have the chance of being reborn and learning. Did your peoples become what you are by discovering the gifts of Cherine?”
“We had our own equivalents. You still have a lot to learn Robert.”
“I know. That is why I am careful and slow to make changes.”
“You can take a shortcut.”
“Shortcuts usually tend to lead to dead-ends. If it is worth striving for, then we will achieve our own goals in the way we should. There is still a hunger in all of us for life and love.”
“You are making a mistake.”
“If I am, we have time and will learn.”
“You…you are children! How dare you make decisions for all of them?”
3404
“I don’t. I decide what is best for all Cherinians and if any disagree they are free to take their own paths.”
“You allow them to choose otherwise?”
“Of course.”
She walked away without another word. We watched her until she was out of sight and then we turned as one and stared at Robbie. His face was grim, his eyes dark.
“I know loves. I feel it too. She is planning something we will not like. Freddie?”
“Yes Robert?”
“Watch that damn ball of hers and Shiyra also. Anything, any changes, you let me know. I want a report of who she talks to. What they discuss is private, only their business, but where she is and with whom is also mine, since I am responsible for her wellbeing.”
“Robert - you sound like a politician again. Just be honest and say you have to watch her because she may be a threat to us. Don’t try to justify yourself by sounding politically correct.”
Cherine burst out laughing. “Em-e, if your father could only hear Sam telling Robert off. I think he’ll actually agree with Sam.”
“I think so too. He will be worried if he hears of the way Robert is changing.”
“Would you mind not discussing me as if I’m not here? Sam, you are nitpicking, you know what I meant.”
“I don’t care. Once you allow yourself to talk like that, then you will think like that. Damn it Robert, who is going to watch over you once I’m gone? They’re all too worried about upsetting you.”
“Then you better stick around.”
It took me a few days to realise that his comment had percolated and simmered and become a decision. I’m going to find a way, I will fight time, fate, anything - but I’m staying!
We did not realise that the signs we saw of Fe’jene leaning to our way of thinking, making her a potential Cherinian, also made her vulnerable to Shiyra - not of course that we knew what Shiyra was saying to her either. We should have guessed though; we have been rather stupid. Despite all his suspicions, we did not give it the thought we should have. So, though we were caught by surprise, it was not really a surprise.
“I need to talk to you. All of you, all the species. Can you invite everyone to meet at a place at an agreed time?”
“With pleasure Shiyra.”
We argued it and decided Shiyra wants to leave and our meeting is for her to bid us farewell. I wonder what she plans once she has returned.
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty
“Thank you for coming. You have all made me feel welcome since I arrived and I do appreciate the way you all opened yourselves to me. All other species I know, would have restricted my movements and controlled the flow of information to me, while trying to extract as much information from me as possible. I do not understand, even now I find it difficult to understand why you adopt the opposite policy.”
3405
She paused, apparently deep in thought. “Robert, you cannot imagine how the storytelling affected me. It is time I make my confession, which I hope will explain a lot that may have caused misunderstanding between us. Our differences in our manner of perceiving time caused our original difficulties in communications. Have you not wondered, if I perceive all of time, why I did not understand the problem and already know your language?”
“I decided it had to be something to do with creating a paradox. You cannot know until you learnt or else you will never bother to learn because you already know.”
“You surprise me. We must think on that. The problem is more extensive though, and far more disturbing. Why did I not know of the time I spent here, the existence of this world you created? Your storytelling made me think the unthinkable. Robert, I did not know about you because you were not in my future until I met you. Your interference has changed our future.”
“How can that be? When we first brought you here you mentioned that Cherinians will be searching for Cherine, that at some time, I presumed you spoke of the distant future, she is a myth.”
“I did not know that until you trespassed within our influence. If our future has now changed, what happens to the future we knew? It is important for a reason I’ve not explained before. What I did not mention is the reason we are situated in this area. I still recall our alternate future. In that future we lose the wish to continue existing and the future holds no purpose. The span of time is too great for us to continue finding a reason for our existence if we stay as we are. It is the reason we chose this place to wait for time to end.”
We were shocked. Cherine, I, and all the family looked at Robert. He had been right! The ultimate union of our souls, however deeply we craved it, is a dead-end.
“How has your future changed? You see a purpose now?”
“I notice you do not ask whether we become Cherinians. Robert, in a sense we do. All Cherinians, in all realities, will become part of us. We are now wise enough not to attempt total integration immediately. You still have trillions of souls to return to their bodies and planets so that they have an opportunity to grow and experience new and unique memories. We will…what word would you use, your language is so primitive. Can I say we will gather their souls over the rest of time, achieving completeness at the last moment and therefore avoiding the loss of purpose and interest in survival?”
His lips were white, bloodless, his thoughts blocked as he replied, “Carry on.”
“It is time the main part of myself return. A small part will stay with you in Freddie and watch and learn. As we come across souls who have neared perfection we will bring them back here to join us. The process will begin with my return, as a number of souls presently living here have agreed to become part of our great soul.”
“Who will those be?”
“I think you have guessed that Fe’jene and her mate are two of them. Altogether we have a mere eight souls ready to become part of us. We wish for a ninth. It will be left for you to chose; either Goldi or Samantha. We prefer Goldi, but taking Sam might save her from total extinction.”
“We have no choice in the matter? What if we said you will not take either?”
“It is not an option. We must have one of your family.”
“As hostage?”
“Of course not. That one person will help bring to us a far deeper understanding of all of you upon full integration. Your family are a key element to our future.”
“What do you intend doing if we refuse?”
“You will refuse.”
“I see. You have the means to impose your will upon us.”
“It would have been far better that you do agree, but we have seen that you refuse. What will happen now is only a demonstration of what we are capable of, not an attack - we know you will be able to immediately repair the damage since we will not prevent you.”
3406
The ‘sun’ grew brighter and a blast of heat struck us. We saw a part of it extend towards the dome, just below the water line. There was a sizzling and something that looked like an electrical storm. Our whole world was charged with this power and then suddenly enormous amounts of water began to cascade, turning into spray as it fell from that great height. Robbie left his body and it fell over, Cherine, Gilli, Orshiir and Ordinx each urgently jumping to catch him.
We all looked up at the breach in the shell, expecting to see Robbie repairing it. The water continued to fall and the tear began to grow, the edges sparkling as it disintegrated. Meli, Dommi and all the girls, except for Cherine and I, concentrated on using their gifts to support the edges. Cherine was standing with her fists bunched up, ready to attack Shiyra or the ‘sun’, but she had noticed that Robbie has ignored them, so she was afraid of taking action that might expose him in some way.
*Relax. I think I know what he is doing. She is in for a huge shock.* Cherine gave me a quick glance and then faced Shiyra again. I could feel from within her the power building and swirling in a mad need to lash out. Cherine’s face did not betray the battle she was fighting to control her instincts. Shiyra cried out and disappeared.
“He’s done it!” I yelled. “He’s placed a stasis field around their main body outside. Jesus, he’s orphaned her!”
A spear of void energy slashed through the shields, surrounding the ‘sun’ instantly. A silver shield of rippling energy, veins of fire slashing across it was the only evidence of the battle going on inside. I felt him and then the protector appeared. He joined the girls and the inner shield slowly grew back. We have a very wet world, but at last the hole has closed.
“Freddie, can you manage on your own now?”
“Yes. Girls, thank you.”
As they relaxed, they felt their exhaustion and collapsed onto the wet grass. I felt a number of eyes on me and their unasked question, but I did not answer them. Cherine turned, stared at me and then Dommi.
“If we had been attacked directly, none of you could have protected yourselves. Sam also had to be there for me - to help prevent me from lashing out and making matters worse. We needed someone capable of using her brains.”
I grinned at her. “Bullshit! I did not feel they needed me, my forte is not in using the same gifts as them.”
“She thinks her forte is her intelligence.” Tina said, laughing, her eyes teasing me.
“Tina, that is not fair!” Aganthi said. Good ol’ Aganthi, I thought. “You must admit she has thought of some very clever things to say - when she wants Roberto to concentrate on her that night.” I gave her that kind of look that says I have a lemon in my mouth and then joined them in their laughter.
Candy moved quickly, placing herself on his chest and staring into his face, so we circled them as Robbie stirred. After a quick look into Candy’s eyes he looked up at the silver ball.
“I cannot stay long. They are eating away at the void energy shield I captured them in from inside. I’ll have to return them to normal space. What we do then I have not decided.”
“If they are not trapped, as she said, then they will follow us or go to planets and take lives Robert. We can’t leave here!”
“I’m aware of the problems Rosie. We cannot hold them prisoners nor can we stay here forever. Anybody have any ideas?”
Nobody spoke. “It seems we do not have an alternative. We have to stay here until we find a solution. A cup of coffee and I’ll get rid of that thing from our world. I’m going to need your help when I do it. Instead of dematerialising that thing, I’ll have to make an opening in our shield without exposing us to the void.”
As he drank his coffee Fe’jene and her mate came to stand before him. They waited for him to speak first.
“You want to go with them?”
“Yes.”
3407
“May I quote a man of my world? Dostoevsky said, ‘Didst thou not know that men prefer peace, even death, to freedom of choice in the knowledge of good and evil?’ You know that you have many lives of learning and living before you, but you choose the comfort of knowing you are part of a mother soul? I do not have the right to stop you, but I will make this condition. Stay here and think upon it and before we leave I promise to do as you ask of me, if you still think you have chosen wisely.”
“Fe’jene?” I said, “Didn’t you hear what she said? They found they had arrived at a sterile end. They only want you so as to live off your experiences for a while. For how long do you think that will last? Then they will need to gather new souls, none of them ready, for if they were, they would form their own mother soul. Do you truly want to be part of something so evil?”
We had the same discussion with the rest of them, the other six. I kept it to myself, but I was hurt when I discovered they were all Anadir. Even Ordinx and Ashiir were upset.
Robbie formed a huge bubble and attached it to the outside shell, ensuring nothing of the void remains within it. He formed a ring of energy between the inner and outer shells and removed the water from it. When he opened it he moved the silver ball into the dome on the outside. We had to keep it all stable while he dealt with the silver ball and then we closed the hole and got rid of the partition between the shields, careful to first slowly fill the area with water. Robbie formed a ‘floor’ to the dome and detaching it from our world he took it to normal space. There he hesitated. Should he return it to it’s home or keep them separated? He arranged for a projection onto our screens so that we can follow - it also helped us, not knowing what was happening was terrible.
He opened a one-way link and left the dome, taking his void energy with him. First he removed the stasis from the Ii and then appeared with the dome. He created a replica of himself, not out of flesh and bone.
“Ii, send your Shiyra part to talk with me.”
“What have you done Robert! This was not what we agreed.”
“Agreed!! You dictated terms, demanding the right to steal and condemn one of my loves to your sterile existence, there was no agreement between us Shiyra, ever! Now I demand you listen carefully without interrupting. I have a number of choices and what I decide may depend on how you respond.
I have watched you all the time you were with us and I have come to realise the Ii is sick. I do not pretend to understand how it happened, but I suspect you may all have been to blame. I do not believe any souls are meant to join into one mother soul until time ends. It cannot be the purpose of the Universe!
We have all felt the urge to unite, but realised we have to resist it. We still have much to learn and experience. What your people did, it was never meant to happen. You grew tired as a species and instead of allowing yourselves to be reborn as other species, you chose this. Now you are paying for it. Has ennui driven you crazy Shiyra? You propose to scour the universe, depriving other individuals of their own fate and opportunity to become the ultimate soul, so as to keep yourselves awake. What you intend is the ultimate crime and I am here as your judge.”
“Judge? You dare to judge us?”
“I told you not to interrupt me. Not I as Robert, I judge you as the representative of all life. These are the alternatives I am faced with.
I demand and force you to revert to individual souls, to resume the paths you interrupted. This would be the correct choice, but I do not have the right to impose it. It must be your own decision.
I hold you all as prisoners until the end of time. What will you do then Shiyra, you will have lost the opportunity to discover what you could have become.
I let you go, but if I find you trying to carry out your plans, I destroy you. This last choice, if you force it on me, I will do, even though it will mean the loss of my own soul.
Before I end, let me make one thing clear. I am not here to discuss the choices with you or my right to impose them. As a guardian of life I have given you my conditions and you are only free to choose of the possibilities I offer - unless you can propose an alternative I find acceptable.”
3408
She answered him with a swiftness and ruthlessness that was dazzling. The ‘sun’ flamed and burnt where he stood with a rage unbelievable in ferocity. It looked for a moment as if she was succeeding, but then the flame whitened in heat and we saw his form still standing within. Suddenly the attack stopped.
“When I suggested you may offer me an alternative I did not mean that.” He smiled, not at her, but at his own silliness. “I suppose you had to try. Since you now know you cannot harm me, make your decision, which alternative do you choose?”
“Yes, we have chosen.” There was a hunger in her eyes that she no longer disguised. “Instead of one of your females we will take you. We need to understand how it is you are constantly able to change our future.”
“I do not recall offering. Shiyra, you are trying my patience.”
“Is that so? I thought I was offering you a fair exchange. Your spaceship and your family are allowed to leave and you stay or else you leave and they are destroyed. You are stupid Robert, in your storytelling you did not keep secret the vulnerabilities of your spaceship. We planted enough of ourselves to drill an instant hole out to the void. As it is only necessary for the outer shell to be pierced since even a drop of water will bring about the end of your ship and everyone in it, you do not have a choice.”
“We seem to be at an impasse. You could be bluffing, I need time to think.”
“You think we are foolish? The instant you leave here we blow it up.”
“Agreed. I’ll do my thinking here.”
She really is stupid, we had not kept it a secret and had shown how Robbie can appear to be at one place while he is elsewhere. I knew we had to act fast as she might recall that little fact at any moment. Freddie ran a test quickly, checking down to every molecule almost. The rest of us left our bodies and searched within the spaceship. We even went to the scientist’s laboratories. Ordinx rushed to ask them whether Shiyra had left any substance or energy for them to experiment on. Soon as everyone returned with their negative reports, I dashed off to the void.
*Robert, I think she is bluffing. We cannot find anything. We must not take a chance though, I suggest Freddie moves to another reality and the protector calls us back once you have handled them. What do I do about Cherine and Jade? They will refuse to leave you here alone.*
*Good thinking love. Do not tell them. Let them know I said they must wait, it was just a bluff. Instruct Freddie to do as you suggested without allowing anyone to feel what he has done. Keep the protector, I’ll find my way to you when I’ve finished here.*
In parody of his recent words I replied, *I do not recall offering you that alternative. The protector stays here. Bye dad.*
We moved - and of course we lost contact, the screens went blank.
“Robert has to concentrate on whatever it is he is doing, he cannot maintain the link, we’ll have to wait for him to finish.” and I added by mind-speak, *We have jumped to another reality, but no one outside our family must know.*
“You stupid girl! What do you think happened to my link!!” Cherine slumped and I quickly followed her. We were both stuck in the void with nowhere to go.
*Cherine, come back, only Freddie knows how to get us back there.* I took a quick look, but this void was also empty.
“Cherine, listen to me, I did not abandon Robert as you thought. When he is the void he does not need the link.”
She began to cry. “You frightened me Sam.”
“I’m sorry love. I did leave the protector with him so that he can call for help if he needs it. I made sure the protector will not listen to Robert if he needs help. I told him we will all kill ourselves if he lets anything happen to our Robbie.”
3409
We spent nearly two days living in fear. I tried to console them, or at least quieten their fears (and mine) by saying the longer he takes, the better it is, for it means he is ensuring they cannot leave the place we found them in. It was a weak and stupid argument, but I had to say something. It amazed me when even Cherine accepted my words as fact. I suppose they were so afraid that any words offering hope were not going to be scrutinised too closely.
Robbie appeared as the void and he had a pod with him. We felt Freddie jump and realised Robbie had returned us to the reality the Ii are in. As the pod touched the ground the stasis dissolved and we saw Shiyra. We came to our feet in shock. When Robbie stirred, he gave Candy a surprised look, the first time ever she was not there for him, and then he rolled over onto his side with a groan.
“How long have I been gone, this body feels like shit.”
“Three days. None of us could go into it to keep it fit Robert, we did not know when you might need to get back in urgently.”
“I’m not blaming anyone Dommi. Aganthi, please?” She rushed for a coffee while Claudia brought him his cigarettes. Dommi and Irene, Orshiir and Gina massaged his limbs for him. Cherine sat above his head and massaged his face, giving him a kiss every now and then. He relaxed with a goofy smile on his face.
Once I was certain he was alright I kept my eyes on Shiyra. She walked off and sat with her back to us a fair way away. I noticed Latreia was also sitting away from us and I went to her. I sat next to her and pulled her gently into my arms and held her as she sobbed.
“He is alright. Nothing bad happened to him.”
“You were afraid for him Latreia? Why did you keep it hidden?”
“You were all afraid, I did not want to make it worse for you.”
“It is always better to have someone to share such moments with agapi mou. For us and for you.”
“Lynda didn’t.”
“Yes, I know. She is also fighting her feelings for Robert. Is that why you copied her and made yourself an adult?”
“Why is she fighting him?”
“She thinks he can only love her if she is a little girl and she hates the idea. She is a real adult and wants to stay one. Perhaps she also finds it difficult to share the man she loves with others. You heard how she was pulled into our circle while she was a child. She resented that afterwards.”
“But she loves him!”
“That is why she is fighting. If she did not, she would have left long ago.” I sighed. “Even with our gifts, we still manage to be as stupid as Normals can be.”
“Every day she sits by herself and does something. Is she looking for your friend?”
“Arthur? Yes, she is trying to find his reality.”
“Maybe she needs to find it so that she can love Roberto?”
I shrugged. “Maybe. I try to avoid sensing her emoting and never enter her mind. She must not feel we are putting her under any pressure.”
She gave me a weak smile. “She might be happier if you did. Then she will have an excuse. Is that why you all leave me alone?”
I did not answer, only tightening my hold on her. She kissed my cheek. “I like you Sam.”
“Don’t tell me you’ve fallen for my charm.” I kidded her.
3410
“Charm? Like Shiyra’s?”
“That was nasty.” I laughed. “I was thinking more like Goldi’s.”
“You? I don’t think so. You can never be like her.”
“I suppose so.”
“Don’t be sad Sam, what I said, it was a good thing. You know something she does not yet. You want love, but it must be given with respect also.”
“What is wrong with a mad, crazy passionate love - even if it is only just for a few minutes?” I was teasing, but suddenly it was no longer a joke. At least, not something to joke about. “I guess it comes back to what our nature is. What is your nature Latreia?”
“Me? I’m just a baby Sam, what do I know?”
Jokingly I said, “I have the feeling you could have been the Sam of this family, if I did not exist.” I felt a shock. “Is that it!? You are here to take my place and keep the family safe once I’m gone?”
“No!” she cried out and escaping from my arm ran as fast as she can.
Robbie was curious as to what had happened and looked in my mind. “Oh Sam, what a thing to say to her! No wonder she ran away, you frightened her.”
“I was in shock. I shouldn’t have.” I then did a naughty thing; I looked in everybody’s mind. The idea of taking over from me terrified all of them, apart from Cherine and Jade - and yet, even with them, I sensed a discomfort at the idea. Robbie must have been watching my mind for I saw his eyes were warm with sympathy. I gave a sort of grin and went after Latreia.
As I came close to her, I noticed she had changed back to a little girl of about six or seven. I called out in a cheerful voice, “It worked, I played the same trick on the others and they all reacted the same way you did. I think this has been one of my best ones up to now. Are you mad at me?”
Of course she was, but she also wasn’t because she was so relieved it was a trick and, because she had been handed absolution on a platter, she did not dare think too deeply on it. This from my sweet Latreia who faces what she fears and challenges it. Oh well, I’ve done the same. I soon had her giggling as I described the reactions of the others and those precious others were sending me messages as I did so, threatening to get even and so on, but they cannot hide their pleasure at the adroit way I had turned it around and made Latreia giggle.
(And who is it now whose arm only needs to be lengthened to pat herself on the back? When you get too clever with your words my darling daughter, they have a way of bouncing back at you.)
(I know Robert, but then, as the girls accused me of, I do end up with so many lovely nights worth remembering forever.)
That which was said to Latreia set my thoughts on a new path. I dare not pretend that either Robbie or I can break the loop I’m in, so I must find someone to take my place. It is a difficult decision, for the person I choose will curse me many times and I will return to my next loop knowing I have presumed and caused someone to take a path they would not have chosen on their own. I’m not saying my life is hard, it is not, I enjoy being who I am, but there are times the responsibility becomes overwhelming.
I do not see that any of my loves will choose the life I live so it might be that I have to concentrate on a child to be born. I must be very careful how I do it, for she will have to be strong if she is to fight Robbie every now and then.
Robbie called for everyone, or at least a representative of every species to be present that evening at the taverna. He also asked Shiyra to join us there.
“I think this has been one of the strangest experiences for me. A number of you have also been affected, as most races it seems dream of the ideal or ultimate soul, when we all join together and become one. Meeting such a composite, created by ancients…even in terms of the Sparklers, we must treasure the memory forever.
I hope you enjoy reading this story of fantasy, adventure and love - and should some of it be true for our reality, I hope you will love our Cherine.
Αλέξανδρος Ζήνον Ευσταθίου
(Alexander Zenon Eustace)2nd December, 2019
- posted: 2nd December, 2019
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