My name is Eddie Espino, I am from Mexico and this is the story of how I became a Mormon and how and why I decided to resign. Find more about me here.
I decided to join The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints after a very close friend invited me and after realizing that a lot of friends, acquaintances and successful people were members.
The message of Eternal Families and Salvation hooked me and I became very interested. I didn't realize I was part of a sales pitch given by charismatic young men who were very friendly and interested converting me. I got hooked right away with all the attention I as receiving and after feeling very welcome and important on each meeting.
By this time I had already told the Elders that I felt a warm feeling and peace while hearing their message. This feeling was a testimony that the message was 100% true or at least that's what they told me. This helped me accept the very hard to believe stories of Joseph Smith more easily and made me pay little attention to the supposedly existence of horses, steel and chariots on the the American Continent in 6th century BC .
Members and leaders form the Church told me that a cup of coffee, a glass of wine is prohibited, but when I asked why it was fine to eat a lot of meat and drink Coke they told me that it was really not about health, it was about obedience. The same happened with money, I was told to give 10% of my income to the Church but told at the same time the God doesn't need my money.
I was so hooked that I had to doubt my own doubts. I started learning more and every time things got stranger. Logical, scientific and moral suicide had to be committed for many of my thought and ideas. By this time I had made a lot of friends, I had dated a few girls from the Church and I had attended youth activities and meetings with Church authorities. I wanted to believe, I was making a great effort to stay worthy and to fulfill my goal, all of them centered on the Church and Jesus Christ. I participated on most of the programs, almost every aspect of my life was heavily influenced by the Church.
I started seeing anti mormon messages all over internet, people that had left and that even protested against the Church. I decided to dismiss all those messages and to avoid reading or watching them. I felt a very strong contradiction and I didn't want to lose all the progress I had made.
It all became very weird and strange the first time I went to the Temple, a special building where Mormons perform special ordinances for themselves and their dead relatives. I will be respectful and I will not share details, all I will say it is that it's very very strange and tedious for me. This is where I started second guessing the Church and the whole message, but by this time I was already engaged to a mormon girl and planning a wedding. Did I want to lose her and all my friends? Of course not!
We live on the era of information and ignorance is a choice. And even sometimes the information and the truth will look for you and it found me... One day I was browsing YouTube and stumbled into a video called 50 Problems With the Mormon Church. This video turned my life upside down. I became obsessed on the information that will help me clear all my doubts and find the truth about the Mormon Church. The video lead me to document called CES Letter, after reading this I decided I did not want to follow something that is not true. I did not want to invest all my effort, time and money to a fraud. And I certainly did not want to raise a family around a lie.
So I decided to resign and sadly I had to finish the relationship with my fiance. This happened almost 2 years ago and today I can say that I am more happy and more at peace. I have found peace and spirituality in o¿understanding the Universe, the Human Psychology and looking at the world with other eyes. The band Wookiefoot has helped me understand many things with their powerful messages in their song. Check the post I made about them here.
I'm still searching for many answers and I know that those who seek are never lost.
With love,
Eddie