HAPPY NEW YEAR YA CRAZY BASTARDS : I know exactly how I intend to waste those 365 new days. I hope you do to. I will continue to look at the world through my clinically insane, skewed perspective. With my randomly tangential thought processes producing even more nonsense. Using logic and reality in ways it was never intended to be used, allegedly.
Today I'm going to start off with:
VITAL ORGAN'S - THE DONATION OF:-
When you look at it logically there are thousands of people out there with fucked up hearts, lungs and other essentials who are spending all their time hoping somebody else dies. They need a lot of deaths to live. They can't go on without them. Not for very long anyway. Nobody, except possibly me, believes that to be wrong. We just gloss over the whole thing, on those rare occasions we can be bothered to think about it. Now I'm a full on mental so this is going to be deranged, bonkers and unhinged.
You see, to my cracked perspective, it looks like much more money should be put into research projects that could result in solving this ethical dilemma. By producing perfectly matched replacement organs that don't require huge doses of pharmaceuticals to work inefficiently, then fuck up a few years later. Possibly using stem cells and genetic manipulation to make healthy organs. Rather than pumping untold millions into "social studies" that start with a conclusion then cherry pick a necessarily tiny amount of misrepresented data to prove it. But I'm not the one doling out untold millions in research grants to support excuses for excessive social engineering . So what do I know. The fucked up system we currently use works occasionally, so why mess with it? Told ya I was fucking insane. I keep hoping for solutions instead of concentrating on creating new problems out of nothing. What am I like? Just because facts and reality don't give a fuck about emotions and feelings, doesn't mean we shouldn't continue to keep pissing into that wind as hard as we can. Then insist that it's raining. War and hate to everybody out there.
(The copyight to this image is the property of Grammarly.)
"Wow." Jake exclaimed for possibly the fiftieth time. It was becoming so hard to keep count of exclamations.
This was yet another of those times he'd been terrifying himself by anticipating an ordeal. Just like all the others that proved to be far worse in anticipation than in reality. He'd been so concerned about fending off Morag's sexual advances, building them up out of all proportion to what eventually transpired. Worrying himself completely unnecessarily. She was an astute brilliant woman with enormous emotional intelligence, along with those mesmerizing breasts. The ones that seemed to follow him around the deck all day long. Before he'd retired for the night, unable to sleep for the worry. Now here they were discussing those launch tubes she'd been priming when he first encountered her in his cabin.
"There are paddles on the stern that provide power for the pumps to build up the pressure in the tubes, once they've been set. That's the most efficient way. Of course that air pressure doesn't provide enough power for what we need. So we also use explosive charges. They'll fire the jet sails into the jet streams which are travelling at 120 kph, ten klicks above us."
"Wow.. I mean that's amazing. To me, I expect it's pretty commonplace to you. So that must mean our speed will be exponentially faster than under standard sail power." That was without doubt the most intelligent thing he'd said so far in their entire conversation.
She even gave him an approving nod.
"It's not 100% efficient. Not even 50%, but it'll give us an extra 35 knots of speed. We need at least sixty before we enter the translational portal, otherwise it's a long slow haul that can take days to complete. Believe me you do not want to spend that amount of time in interspace. It does things to your mind that can take a long time to recover from. We hit it right and we'll be accelerating to a small percentage of light speed."
"I'm a clueless idiot so forgive me for this. Why don't we burn up?"
Now she was smiling. He'd asked a good question at last.
"The initial acceleration down here will be a hell of a kick. Inertial dampeners will take out the worst of it. We'll only hit top speed in interspace. There's no friction there. Not much physics at all. So there's no need for you to worry your pretty little head, as the Captain says."
"I've every confidence in you." He stared into those gorgeous eyes. Which was incredible under the circumstances. They were both naked after all. Jake had removed his body armor when he found he couldn't sleep in it.
"You do not want to be in here when these darlings go off. That's well over two hundred decibels of noise. Enough to turn your brain into jelly in a confined space. If it wasn't for the soundproofing on the tubes and this cabin everyone's ears would bleed and we'd all be permanently deaf."
"That's interesting." Jake nodded sagely. "So this cabin is soundproof."
"Do you want to go again then?" Morag nodded towards one of the tubes.
"No I think I've got it thanks. Your a very good teacher."
Her face assumed an expression that could only be described as sultry. Or erotic. Her arms went around his neck as she pressed her body against him.
"No. I meant sex. Would you like to go for another ride?" Morag kissed him deeply, her tongue filling his mouth. He was only flesh and blood, a lot of which was redistributing itself around his body, he responded in kind. Finding himself sucked into another passionate embrace. Breaking the kiss she pulled back softly biting his lip. Tugging it provocatively.
"You are very persuasive. I suppose that's why you're such a good teacher. Yet again it's impossible for me to say no. When do you think we'll reach that portal?"
"It'll be at least a couple of hours." She maneuvered him towards the bunk. He was too helpless to resist.
"Is that long enough?"
"It'll have to do."
Christ on a bike, he thought, this woman is irresistibly proficient. The sex was mind blowing every time. How many times was it now anyway? It was becoming so hard to keep count of ejaculations.
It was an extremely tight fit. Phrasing. The two of them showering together in his cabin. Jake hadn't known there was a shower, until Morag showed him. It delighted and bemused her that he hadn't checked out anything at all. She'd have explored it from top to bottom. Her inventive and inquiring mind wouldn't have permitted Morag to take anything at face value. As soon as she stepped out of the shower she kissed him and left. With a lovely backward glance and a wink. Before the door shut fully behind her though he heard her giggle. Some of that investigative drive had rubbed off on him. Phrasing again. Jake cautiously opened his cabin door. Pengelly stood there grinning at him. More disturbingly, there was a queue behind the boatswain. One Morag strolled past without a care in the world. Still delightfully nude. As was he now he came to think of it. His own nakedness had never bothered Jake for some reason.
"Is there something I can do for you Mr Pengelly?" He asked curiously
The boatswain rubbed his chin.
"Me and the boys was wondering whether you fancied a bit of recreational sodomy?"
Now if this had happened in his original world it might have been a cause for alarm. Here, given the long beaming line of crewmen, he felt safe. Rape was the last thing on their minds. They were taking the piss out of the new crew member. The one who had funny sexual hangups.
"I'll pass on that. Thanks for the offer though."
"Sure you won't change your mind? You don't know, you might like it. You'll never know until you've tried."
There was far too much chuckling going on here.
"How do you know I haven't tried?"
"When you've been on board ship as long as we have, you get an instinct for these things. You can spot a virgin at five hundred meters."
Now they were laughing.
"Pip told you didn't she?"
"That she did."
It took a huge effort, but he managed to keep a straight face. Jake was being baited. He was also being checked out. They would be going places where their lives depended on one another. That gave birth to the necessity for a special kind of camaraderie. A dark, rough humor he'd found in soldiers before.
"Right. You've had your fun. Now fuck off the lot of you. Otherwise I'll have to go all superhuman on your asses."
They feigned their mocking fear, whimpering at him sarcastically. Backing away for the most part then bellowing with laughter. Jake threw his boot. Catching Pengelly a glancing blow on his arm. That was a bad move. He needed that boot. Not to worry. It whizzed back with far greater force and accuracy. Brushing his ear as he dodged.
"Captain says we'll be in position in ten minutes. You might find it conducive to leave your quarters quick smart."
Shit that was a good point. He closed the door and started pulling on his underwear.
"Thank God that's over." Hermes grumbled. "It's alright for you. Soon as you start getting amorous I automatically go into sleep mode, because of scores of protocols engaging. You could have given me a warning you were going to give up your virtue that easily. Morag was barely through your door before you surrendered."
"That's an exaggeration." Jake retorted, still dragging on clothing
"Not much of one."
"I couldn't help it. Morag is very forceful. In all the right ways."
"You dirty bastard." The AI blurted. "You were at it most of the night. And first thing this morning. It's me that has to clean up the mess in here you know. You've got no bloody consideration and very little zinc. It's almost completely exhausted. Magnesium and potassium levels aren't much better. You need to either eat a nutrition bar or some nuts, bananas and red meat. Otherwise I'll have to make them for you. That takes a lot of energy. You know that stuff you were gobbling up all night."
"It's not just me with the unfortunate phrasing then. I didn't nag you about all that orgy action you had when I, as in me, let you have a go in a body. At considerable expense I might add. Are you jealous?"
"Of course I am. Sex is frigging brilliant. Makes my pleasure routines look shit."
"You've got pleasure routines?"
"Of course I have. I'm a consciousness. One that could go mad without some form of release."
Jake pondered the implications of that.
"Can you get depressed?"
"What do you think this is you insensitive prick? You jammy bastard. I've always had a weakness for redheads. They do wonderful things to my sensory inputs."
"Well next time you get a human body I'm sure she'll at least consider you."
"What? You'd let me?"
"No. I mean she might be tempted. If only for the reason that you're a machine based biological being. It's not my decision to make. There's every chance she'd bed you purely out of curiosity. I mean Christ she slept with me."
"I couldn't tell her that though."
"Loophole." Jake crowed, impressed by his own perspicacity. "She wouldn't need to know you had anything to do with me. That's the real secret. You could tempt her with your knowledge and the technology that you're made up of. There's no guarantee. Certainly worth a shot. Crap.I'd better get out. I would not put it past Doxy to fire these bad boys off with me in here. I want to see this anyway. Wait a second. Is there anything in here that will either be destroyed or rendered explosively incendiary by 200 decibels of noise?"
"Apart from you, no. I'm stunned you didn't start a small blaze last night. Of course you could always lower the air pressure in here to a level that won't risk anything."
"Quickly. Show me how to do it please."
"It's done. I owe you for the advice and the pep talk. Now as soon as you close the door it'll evacuate most of the air."
"Remember to remind me about that. I will forget. Guaranteed."
"Just step out the door and close it." Jake did as instructed. "Now turn around. See that flashing red light above the door? It indicates that the door cannot be opened. Your cabin would have been automatically evacuated anyway."
"Oh. Yep. I get it now. Morag said it wouldn't be safe to be in there when the jet sails deployed. I assumed it would be possible and that she was warning me. She was just telling me the facts. I'm really going to have to up my game here." He patted his pockets. "Damn. I haven't got a nutrient bar on me." He'd started walking already and was soon in the crews quarters. At least half a dozen of the crew were there. Some of them getting their heads down after working the night shift. That would be watch on a ship. "Any of you guys got a spare nutrient bar?" he asked hopefully.
Only to be pelted by them from all directions. He'd hit all of these people very hard in an unfair fight. That deserved remembering. The only ones he hadn't struck were Pip and Daisy. And he betrayed Pip. Not that she bore a grudge. He hoped not anyway.
"Now piss off. Some of us are trying to sleep." A female voice called from behind him.
"Thanks." He whispered, before creeping up on deck chewing the only bar he'd managed to catch.
The crew were efficiently and effectively going about their duties. All he had to do was stay out of their way as he headed to the stern first, where Doxy was at the wheel again. The deck swayed and tilted beneath him. Sending him off balance. The engineers were at the bow. Making the final preparations he assumed The Captain looked to be in a good mood.
"How are you this fine morning, Sparky?" She asked brightly.
"Rested and refreshed, thank you Captain."
"I doubt that. Judging by the expression on my engineers face."
"I'm not at liberty to say anything. Far too much of a gentleman, where these matters are concerned."
She shrugged.
"Doesn't matter. Morag will fill us in on all the dirty details. At length I'd imagine." Doxy was examining him, for his reaction he imagined.
"No comment. Apart from it being very instructive. In the sense of the workings of the ship. And a few other things. That's you on the flag though. I'm thinking you were far more impressively endowed in that department and had some modifications made."
She nodded assent. With a modicum of approval he thought.
"They were great to look at, but the devil to deal with. Very uncomfortable in tight body armor to. Contouring it to those puppies made them a hazard in confined spaces. As well as an obstacle to fighting efficiency. I hated to see them go. I always wanted a massive pair."
Jake laughed.
"You are terrible. I bet you still look the business in a low cut top."
"That I do Sparky. That I do. But then again I look great in anything."
"There's not a man alive who could argue with that Doxy."
She heaved on the wheel once more. The sails billowed as they picked up more wind and speed. The ship lurching beneath them.
"Now let's get you forward. I want you to see this. Get your gorgeous ass over here Fetu. Take the wheel and make this lady fly."
Fetu stepped up, seamlessly taking over. The huge Polynesian did have a lovely ass to. Jake had to admit that.
"Helmsman at the wheel Captain." The joy was clear on his face.
"He's got the strength. I've got the subtlety. We're the perfect match. If he wasn't in a monogamous marriage with Sade, I'd be all over him like a rash. The second those marriage tattoo's come off he's mine." Fetu chuckled. "Now with me Sparky. Let's see what you can see."