Some people simply cannot stop talking,
Under all, and any, circumstances, they’re squawking,
Freddy Funbuster had gone to bed,
When awoken, in the wee hours, it has to be said.
A car load of people arrive close by,
Nattering and chattering, he didn’t know why.
Why, at midnight, would one need to hold a conversation prolonged.
When, at that hour, for peace and quiet is what is longed.
It only takes a few minutes from car to front door,
But they give out the Gettysburg Address what is more!
Is it that they are similar to bats,
Relying on echoing sound bounces from chats,
To navigate the short distance involved,
Perhaps, indeed, from bats they’ve evolved?
On another thing, some clarity we do seek,
Why, at night, do cars have ten doors, so to speak.
Yes, at least ten doors have to be loudly slammed,
While then erstwhile sleeper, his head, under a pillow crammed!

At five in the morn,
I’ll play my trusty Alpine Horn!
Just to serve as to warn,
Against further noise before dawn.
Now, here we are not talking of those who have indulged in hard liquor,
Not those who have over-indulged, to make themselves sicker,
But of sober, restrained seekers of peace,
Never found intoxicated, crawling on knees.
At least, as far as Freddy Funbuster knew, this was so.
Nowadays, one simply never does know!

But, back to the midnight visitation of chatterers.
What do they talk of, these incessant prattlers?
It can’t really be the Gettysburg Address,
Is it of some crime, they so urgently confess?
The crime of robbing innocent folk of their slumber,
Whilst they are snoring away, as though sawing lumber.
What is so urgent, it can’t wait until indoors?
A lack of self-discipline, other personality flaws?
And to have to slam each car door twice,
Don’t they realize this isn’t at all nice?

Freddy thought, “enough of such hazing,”
“I think I’ll simply install double-glazing!”