Larry Loop announced, “I must make a confession,”
“I’m struck down with a most deep depression!”
“Every time I sense some improvement,”
“There’s been, actually, not even small movement,”
“Towards any relief from stress and anxiety,”
“I’m not being noble, not exercising piety.”
“And so I, indeed, do refrain, from working for gain,”
“Failure, just causes my brain, too much pain.”

Larry Loop went off to apply,
For a job, of sorts, not very high.
“I do so against my judgement, better,”
“I freely admit, I’m not a go-getter.”
“The world is so competitive, that’s a fact!”
“You’ve got to put down others, that’s how they all act.”
“To get ahead, it’s over broken cadavers,”
“A competitive world that suffocates and smothers.”

Now, how did Loop go with his aim for that job?
Why, he got it! Not bad for a slob!
Of course, it didn’t pay much cash,
But he was off, on day one, in a dash.
“Your duties are relatively simple,”
“You smile broadly at customers, show your dimple.”
“Saying, expansively, welcome to our store,”
“What item are you seeking? I’ll tell you which floor.”
Department stores had lifts, even back then,
They had sliding metal grills, like a sheep pen.
Each elevator had a driver, a veteran of war.
Usually with a limb missing, he worked the lift door.
It was not long after World War two,
So lift operator jobs for veterans was the least they could do.

Now Loop hadn’t served in the war, he had flat feet,
That is why he only had a store Doorman’s beat.
“To be elevated to a lift driver,”
“I’d have to have been a War survivor.”