A lot of people may have had this experience. When two people are chatting with each other, the conversation is very smooth, but when there are three to five people, you may not have your words, even if more than two people chatting, you will be the silent one.
There are also some people, often do not know what to say when chatting, when talking about a certain topic, they do not know how to answer, will only nod; obviously such response is not expected by the other party.
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Chatting is also an art; we need to learn from the long life experiences.
Here are a few ways to effectively help us improve our chat ability.
Don’t piffle, say appropriate words at the appropriate time
What does it mean by people good at chatting?
Many people think that chatting is a gushing, eloquent, can non stop talking, and able to avoid the silence.
For example, your co-worker came to the company early in the morning, see you exceptionally cordial, greeting non-stop, from what time you get up to how long is your bath, do you think such person is good at chatting?
Talk only to the point, don't talk for the sake of talking, especially piffle, will make others think you are a chatter.
A person who good at chatting will pick the right time to say the right thing.
We all know a story: There is a newborn in the family; friends and family come to congratulate, some people say, "The child is very beautiful, like her mother." "Some say the child has a lucky face and will surely be a lucky star in the future."
And when a person entered and said a word, the children's parents moods turns bad."
He said, "the child will surely die in the future." There is nothing wrong with this objective fact, but the family is celebrating the arrival of a new life, and the people who say this kind of discouragement will not be welcome.
He just didn't say the right thing at the right time.
So remember: do not talk for the sake of talking, say the right words at the right time, if you really do not know when is the right time, then just don’t say anything bad.
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Know what you say
Often have no topic and don’t know what to talk about when chatting with others? The key problem is the things you know is too little, you have many things you still don't know, which requires us to constantly update our knowledge base.
Many times, when you can’t get into the conversation, not because you can’t talk, but because you don’t understand. If you don’t understand, so you don’t know how to join the conversation.
What you should do at this time is: Learn more, expand your knowledge, grasp the new things, care about your surroundings, concerned about social dynamics. There is a bigger world outside.
To obtain this rich knowledge, there are many channels, such as reading, traveling, online information are so convenient that can easily access, historical geography and even documentaries. Learn a little every day, in the future; you will marvel at your changes.
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Do not talk about the fact only, talk more about the story
"Don’t talk about fact" is a great magic weapon that you should remember. But what does it means?
Every year when the school starts; when the headmaster is standing on the stage for a speech, the students below the stage become sleepy.
In fact, people are more inclined to picture, sound, and story. These perceptual thinking level things will stimulate our brain, and those abstract, boring rules will cause us to lose attention, and become slack.
So when chatting with others, don’t always talk about the fact, no one is willing to listen to those things, those are some of the most accurate and useless nonsense.
Talk too much will make others think you are deliberately showing off.
This explains why the motivational lecturers tend to cite countless inspirational stories when they give lectures to students, and these things can resonate with most people and make them cry.
Stories are a sharp weapon in our emotional resonance with others.
Learn humbly to keep the topic going
This takes from the second, “Know what you say.”
Many times, we have to admit that even if we continue to learn every day, we can not master the history of astronomy and geography. Many things that mentioned by others, we don’t understand, but we still need to continue this topic.
Then we ask for advice.
Remember to take your sincerity, and our aim is to get the other person to respond to the topic.
For example, your friend tells you that the stock he bought rose yesterday.
You answered, "Wow, congratulations, I don't know much about the stock market."
In your heart (God, I should learn more about the stock market, I do not have such knowledge, I do not know how to continue)
Your Friend: "All right."
A more appropriate way should be: “Really? What stock did you boy? Is it good if it rose?”
Your Friend: "Balabala"
"Can you teach me? There are many things I don’t understand."
Your Friend: "It’s simple, balabala."
This starts with a simple conversation that keeps the topic going.
There are some similar examples.
You need to practice slowly to master chatting; you can find a friend or directly find a stranger, slowly familiar with, even if you are shy, you also need to speak and issued your voice. The beginning is always difficult, one day you will find you can also become a pro speaker.
