You say you like freedom; you say you want to be an idealist, you say you want to do what you want to do. But what is this the freedom you want? What is your ideal? What do you want to do?
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Today I talked to my mentor, to be honest, I'm a person who really wants to get to know myself, and I always want to tell my past to someone older than me or listen to my friends.
On one hand, I feel like I’m the greatest, I have learned so many things, found a little self-confidence in such a vain content, but when needed to use those things I learned and discover, oh ~ I learned so many things, not even dare to perform, found that the little self-confidence is also empty.
On the other hand, I think I have learned so many things, still feel confused, do not know the direction, as if the more things I learned, the more choices I have. Which way should I go, there are so many choices, please help me choose one, maybe one of your words can lead me to the success road of happiness!
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In fact, no one wants to listen to my rotten past, but who doesn't have a past. I talked to my mentor, in the process, I can feel that he is not listening to my thoughts at all, just telling me a series of thoughts that he thinks of me, and then try to enlighten me in his way.
He asked me why I chose this major. I said: "Parents want me to learn this, because there are people in this family, can arrange a job, they can help me. if I learn other, I can only rely on myself, but I do not like this occupation."
I just don’t want to let people in the family bind me; I do not want to rely on others. The mentor said: "Then I ask you now, what do you like? Can you tell me what you like now?”
I smiled, I seem to like a lot of things, but I do not have the qualifications to like them, I do not seem to seriously understand what’s my favorite, or what I really like. I always thought, since I don't like this major, I need to master it, because only then I have the right to choose what I like.
But after six months, I found that I still didn’t manage to find what I like, and then I think, I must have skills, this skills must be good enough, So no matter what I want to do in the future, my value will be better than others. So, I decided to learn Korean, learn to read Korean words, now I’m learning Korean words every day, watching Korean drama, I think my foundation is poor, so the result is not obvious.
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Now I think I have a fantastic ability; writing may be more suitable for me. A writer needs a lot of writing and a wealth of life experience, so I changed the goal, study well in my major, try to graduate, get a certificate. While working, carefully observe my life, write some posts when I’m free.
My mentor asked me to think about a question, what do you like, what do you need to do next? I don't think the answer is what I want to answer. If one thing is done will give me a sense of accomplishment, then that may be what I like to do. Fate is really magical; you don't know what will happen next second.
What do I really like? I still do not know, I will do many things right now, live up to the present, understand more about myself, my hobby will slowly meet with me. I will try, although my previous efforts appear feeble, but the future continues.
