As some of you may know, I moved down south in July of 2023, to North Carolina. I’ve been adjusting to many of the differences here and, I must say I absolutely love my new home. We’ve made friends and found peace, both within ourselves and with our outlook on the world…it’s been great.
One thing to note however, not a big deal but something that took a little getting used to, is that here by the beach we pretty much live on a marsh, so the bugs love it here…and this is where today’s stupid little machination comes from.
I noticed a few weeks ago, there’s a roach living in the coffee maker at work. Who knows if it’s more, I’m sure he’s not just an eligible bachelor hanging out in a Keurig and not at least throwing the occasional party. Chicks comin over, gettin knocked up and leavin babies, look I don’t know but you can see how it’s possible.
So this was bothering me a bit. I am the first one to the office, so I open up the building and am probably the only one who’s seen the guy. What should we call him? Honestly, hadn’t thought about it until now, but I like Fred for this guy…and not just cuz that was my grandpa’s name, or at least I don’t think the acts why.
Anyway, I’ve been coming in in the morning and before I open it up I’ll tap the machine a few times, give Fred a chance to get decent and hide himself before the day begins. It kind of grossed me about a bit, making coffee in a coffee machine that has Fred living in it, but today I decided to try a perspective game to see if I can change how I feel about it internally, without changing anything about the underlying reality…which is that there is a roach living in the coffee maker I use everyday. Not a big deal, right?
MEET FRED
Fred gets in to work usually about a half hour before I do. He brings a lunch because, just like me he doesn’t like to waste his lunch break driving around. (See that, me and ol’ Fred already got a couple things in common!)
He eats a biscuit from his lunch for energy, hops up inside the coffee maker, and turns on the preheater to get the water ready for when I show up. For now, he can relax and watch some videos by @cahlen on Hive, or perhaps peruse for sweet productions by folks like @zeraton. Point is, he’s done his part and now must wait for his first customer.
Now, once I put in the first K-cup of the day and close the lid, only now begins the real intense labor of perfect performance. Fred takes the stainless steel spiked tube, brings it up over his head for maximum force, and strikes with deadly efficiency. The blow pierces the k-cup’s thin foil lid, and he connects the other end of the stabbing tube to a hot water thing that does stuff. Wow Fred, you’re really kick-ass!
Kick-ass? Yes. But finished with his work? Oh no, far from it!
Now Fred has to turn the cranks to pump the heated water through the K-Cup. You can hear the grinding labor, especially as it gets harder towards the end of the cup. Fred, you sonofabitch, you’ve done it again. Another perfect 8 oz pour, satisfying to the last drop…at which time (in maybe about an hour) I’ll be back for another.
Fred knows this of course, so he diligently returns to his labors, cleaning and sanitizing his sharpened stabbing tube, resetting all his crank gears, and pumping in more water to preheat. He knows I’ll be back - and when I am, he’ll be ready.
This story (or something like it anyway) went through my head this morning, and now I think it’s awesome that my new job has a coffee roach!
Anyway, stay positive my friends! It’s an awesome world out there, filled with awesome people 😁🪳
Thanks for checking out some more of my work! As always, I hope you enjoyed witnessing as much as I enjoyed creating!
© Photos and words by @albuslucimus, except where otherwise indicated.
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